Making the Band
by xenex
Summary: The Akatsuki arrive to take Naruto. Luckily, Tsunade manages to compromise with them. Now Naruto’s only hope is to…..win a Battle of the Bands? Can Naruto form a rocking band out of tone deaf genins in time for the big show? NaruHina SasuSaku.
1. Challenge: Tsunade Backed into a Corner

Summary: The Akatsuki arrive to take Naruto. Luckily, Tsunade manages to compromise with them. Now Naruto's only hope is to…..win a Battle of the Bands? Can Naruto form a kick ass band out of tone-deaf genins in time for the big show? How the hell does Naruto plan on learning guitar in less than a month? What in the name of Shino's fro is Sasuke doing back in the village! Read to find out.

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Challenge: Tsunade is Backed into a Corner

"I'm going to kill them," Tsunade stated flatly. No one makes the fifth hokage wait and gets away with it.

"Please, Tsunade-sama," Shizune said, hoping to calm the violent women before she did anything involving hospital fees or building repairs. "They're only five minutes late."

_Five minutes of borrowed time_, Tsunade thought to herself.

Asuma and Kurenai simply sat quietly in the Hokage Office, not wanting to incur the boss lady's wrath. These monthly meetings were a mild inconvenience, but the two absent shinobi knew Tsunade was not someone you wanted angry.

Just then, two absent members appeared out of a puff of smoke in the middle of the room. "Sorry Hokage-sama," spoke the masked Jounin. "I accidentally stepped in a pile of quick drying cement…"

"And I had to help free him," finished Jiraiya.

Tsunade stood up and slammed her fists on the desk in front of her, splitting it into two halves. Shizune could only let out a heavy sigh. "LIARS!" Tsunade yelled at the top of her lungs. "I'm pretty sure it's a crime for shinobi to lie to their Hokage and knowing you Jiraiya, you both were out behind the women's bathhouse again!"

Kakashi and Jiraiya merely pointed at the huge block of cement on Kakashi's left foot, letting the evidence speak for them. The room went silent. Then everyone fell over laughing, finally releasing the tension caused by their tardiness. Neither Jiraiya nor Kakashi mentioned anything about the sidewalk repairs behind the Woman's Bathhouse.

Their laughter finally under control, Tsunade opened her mouth to speak only to be interrupted by a knock at the door. Somewhere deep inside her head, Tsunade's last remaining nerve finally snapped. _There's gonna be hell to pay!_

Meanwhile, in hell…

"ATCHOOO!"

"You alright there, Satan?" asked God, looking down from his throne.

"I'm fine. Just seems to have gotten a bit chilly down here." Satan replied, shivering in his realm of fire and brimstone

The Almighty raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're alright?"

"Swear to God."

Back in Konoha…

A messenger burst through the doors to the Hokage's office. "Hokage, it's urgent! They're here! The AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The poor messenger was sent flying through the ceiling by an uppercut before he could finish his sentence.

"Now, before there are anymore interruptions…..wait, who's her?" The hokage said with a puzzled look on her face.

"Maybe you should have launched him into orbit _after_ you found that out," muttered Shizune.

"He was going to say, 'The Akatsuki are here.'" Asuma spoke.

"And how would you know that?" asked the red eyed kunoichi sitting next to him.

Asuma pointed towards the doors to the office. It seems that while everyone was looking up through the new sunroof at the airborne shinobi, four cloaked men had entered the room. Two of them Kakashi recognized immediately as Itachi and Kisame. Their last visit was hard for him to forget. The other two were new to him. One wore his hair in a blond tail and the other one seemed to be shrouded in shadow…quite literally. By the way the others stood behind the dark one, Kakashi surmised that he was the leader.

"I apologize for my unsightly appearance," the leader said. "Our cave needed some cleaning and I didn't have time for a bath. Anyways, I'm sure you know why we're here so hand him over."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "And why the hell would I do that!"

Itachi raised a small pig in the air, which squealed in fear. "_TONTON!_" Shizune shrieked. Tsunade, however, was unphased. She simply shrugged her shoulders and said, "I was going to eat the damn thing eventually anyways."

Kisame raised a book in the air. Kakashi's eyes went wide with fear. "My limited edition copy of Ichi Ichi Paradise! Hokage-sama, you have to do something!" Jiraiya slapped him on the back and let out a healthy laugh. "Don't worry about it. I'll make sure you get another one."

The blond Akatsuki member cleared his throat to get the sannin's attention. He gave Jiraiya a scroll and waited as his eyes scanned over the writing. "You bought the company that publishes my novels!" Jiraiya dropped to his knees. "Tsunade! You have to do something!"

"Are you kidding me? I should give them Naruto just for getting rid of that smut. I've been trying to do that for years." A smirk appeared on her face as she glared at the Akatsuki leader. "Not that I'll give them a precious shinobi of this village simply because of a little favor."

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this," said the soot covered man. He snapped his fingers and a large bag, taller than Kisame and wider than Chouji's father, appeared in the middle of the room.

"In this bag are all the bras in the known world that could possible fit you. If you do not give us the Kyubi, I'm afraid I'll be forced to destroy them."

_I like the way these guys think!_ Jiraiya thought to himself as he smiled devilishly. Unfortunately, he forgot that giving a thumbs-up to the enemy was not appropriate, especially in this situation.

A second human-shaped hole was made in the ceiling and all the women in the room shared a look of satisfaction. This did not change the predicament the fifth Hokage was in.

"Okay, you've got me. However, if you spent as little as five minutes with that kid, you'd realize that simply giving him to you is impossible. It's not as if he'd go voluntarily and he has been letting the Kyubi take more and more control these past few weeks. Naruto just might let him take over completely if cornered." It was an obvious bluff, but Tsunade hoped that her luck would pull through for her. The Legendary Sucker should have known better

"That's a lie," the leader said calmly. "However, I've also heard that this kid is a shinobi of his word and having him come of his own free will would be preferable." He had a quick conversation with Itachi and returned his attention to Tsunade.

"Here's the deal. We challenge the boy to a friendly competition that takes place one month from now. If he wins, we will leave him and this village in peace. If he loses, he comes with us quietly." Kakashi began laughing hysterically. After all, who could imagine a quiet Naruto?

"And if Naruto declines the challenge?"

The leader allowed Kisame to answer the question. "We make Orochimaru's invasion look like a New Years block party," he replied with a smirk.

"Yeah," added the blond.

Tsunade wasted no time giving her answer. "We accept then. Leave the…hostages and get the hell out of my office."

"Just so long as it's clear that we'll have to resume publishing the Ichi Ichi series. It provides too much revenue for us to simply stop for your benefit." The four men turned to leave when Kurenai broke the silence.

"Wait, what kind of competition is it?"

Itachi took out a sheet of paper with printing on it. He folded it into a perfect airplane and threw it towards Tsunade. She caught it, unfolded it, and read it quietly. A look of sheer horror appeared on her face.

An Hour Later…

"I HAVE TO DO_**WHAT**_!" an enraged Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs to a depressed Hokage sitting behind a broken desk. The next month was going to be very interesting.


	2. Auditions: Is that who I think it is?

Note: The song in this fan fiction is by a band called Flaw entitled One More Time. I find it difficult to use words to describe sound, so bear with me. Still surprised I got my first review the same day I posted the first chapter. I mean it was great enough getting my brother's stamp of approval and now this! Awesome! So, to show my appreciation, I've worked my ass off to bring you the second chapter. Sorry, if there are errors here and there. Haven't had a chance to edit it, but I feel the need to post it.

* * *

Auditions: Is that who I think it is!

Naruto could not stop moping. He and Jiraiya had barely returned to Konoha in the morning after a year of training for some stupid meeting Jiraiya needed to attend. Instead the old man had ditched him to go somewhere with Kakashi to do god-knows-what. Two hours later here he was, finding out he needed to enter a Battle of the Bands just to save his own hide.

"Why the hell would you make a deal like that with those bastards!" he demanded angrily. He would have slammed his hands on the hokage's desk if it was still intact. Instead, he settled for clenching his fists and glaring at the well-endowed woman in front of him.

Tsunade blushed at the question, catching Naruto off guard, but she never answered the question. "Naruto, the Akatsuki have threatened to destroy this village if you don't accept. The competition is a month away. That's plenty of time for you to get a band together, learn to play the guitar or whatever, and kick some Akatsuki ass!" She took a swig of a large bottle of sake. Not that the drink would change much seeing as how she was already plastered.

"What the hell is a guitar!"

Tsunade choked on her drink. _This kid is so screwed_, she thought to herself. She looked out her window to see if the person she sent for had arrived. Sure enough, her pink haired apprentice was at the foot of the building talking to the guards.

"Sakura! Hurry and get your ass up here!" Without missing a beat, Sakura knocked the guards out of her way and ran up to the office thinking, _Oh crap, the hokage's in one of her moods again._

"What is it you need hokage-sama?" Sakura asked through gasps for air, not noticing Naruto was in the room.

"You're going to be the drummer for Naruto's band. You two also need to audition other shinobi to see if anyone else has some musical talent. Kakashi and a few other jounin have already posted flyers letting everyone in the village know that tryouts will be held in the academy auditorium. Good luck." She took another drink from the sake bottle.

"Wait, what are you talking about? What's going on? And did you just say the dr-drummer, Tsunade-sama?"

_Are you high!_ screamed Inner-Sakura.

"Yes. If there's any instrument you'd be able to learn in time for the show, it would be the drums. You've got rhythm and you like hitting things. I'll have Genma teach you right after you finish the auditions. You'll be pro in a week. You and Naruto should get going. He'll fill you in on the rest"

An hour later…

Naruto and Sakura sat quietly in the auditorium waiting for the first participant to audition. It seemed that a lot had already been pre-decided. Sakura would be the drummer and Naruto, although having never played before in his life, would be the lead guitarist. Auditions were being held to find a vocalist and anyone who could play an instrument. Genma, Iruka, and Anko would be the main judges for the tryouts, but it was ultimately up to the two existing members of the band to decide who made the final cut.

The first shinobi to audition was a fourteen year old genin that both Sakura and Naruto remembered from the Academy. "My name is Yuroichi and I will be playing the trombone." The boy was about to play when a kunai was thrown at him, barely missing his left ear.

Anko was enraged. "I swear to God, you're dead meat you retard! Who the hell plays a trombone in a Rock band!" Genma and Iruka fought desperately to keep the feisty female jounin from lunging at the boy, who at this point was on the verge of peeing himself. "If I get my hands on you I'm going to shove that thing right up your –"

"OOOOkaaay," Iruka said, cutting Anko off. "Next please!"

The next few auditions were just as bad. Many shinobi thought the audition was a venue to show off any talent. Anko would have killed most of them if Genma had not figured a way around it. For example, one young girl decided to do a song and dance routine. She was very attractive, making sure to flash her cleavage in the direction of the male judges. However her voice sounded like kunai running against a chalkboard.

Iruka would say something along the lines of, "You were amazing! That was the best we've seen so far!"

Genma would say something like, "Wow, you are so hot. Unfortunately, you need a little work in the vocal area. Take a few lessons, practice in the shower, and you'll be perfect."

Then after their hopes had been raised, Anko would crush then with brute sincerity. In this particular instance, she chose to speak in an English accent. "That was unbelievably whore-able. How do you sleep at night knowing what pain you've just put me through? I swear I was about to rip my ears off and eat them just to escape the agony. On the upside, I can guarantee you a job in the Torture and Interrogation Squad. Unfortunately, as far as this try-out is concerned, 'you are the weakest link, Goodbye.'"

On and on it continued until three hours had passed. "Number 88, you're up!" Iruka shouted for the next person. Much to everyone's surprise, Chouji walked on stage. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Naruto shouted curiously.

"I heard there'd be free food," he stated flatly.

"Get the hell off the stage!" The three judges and two band members shouted back in unison.

Naruto glanced near the far end of the stage, pointed at a lumpy section in the wall, and added, "And take those brats with you!" A blanket fell to the ground, revealing Udon, Moegi, and Konohamaru. Konohamaru beamed with pride. "I wouldn't expect anything less from our leader," he said before he was chased offstage by a very irritated Sakura.

Iruka massaged his forehead and turned to his fellow judges. "Let's take a break. If I have to hear one more audition, I might just let Anko do whatever she wants to them." A sadistic grin appeared on the said Kunoichi's lips. She took her megaphone and ran to the line of shinobi.

"Listen up you worthless sacks of crap! Our ears can't take much more of you guys sucking! So we've decided to take a one hour break. Keep your number since that's how the order will go by. But I swear on Iruka's funny looking scar, I'm castrating the next lousy performer. And ladies, if you think you're safe, then think again. Ripping out your ovaries would be a justice to society if it meant preventing future generations of hacks! So heed my warning: Suck at your own expense."

Men and women who had shown up to audition ran away screaming for dear life.

At the Ramen Stand…

"My god, this has been the worst experience of my life," Sakura said, quite depressed by her situation. She held her chin with her palm and lazily poked at her ramen. "Three hours and we don't even have one new member of this band. Hell, you wouldn't have anyone if Tsunade-sama hadn't forced me to join. And what the hell is with her making me the drummer. I'm going to be the laughing stock of the village if anyone sees me behind a drum kit! Naruto, are you even listening?"

"Hn?" Naruto took what looked like cotton balls out of his ears. "Did you say something Sakura-chan?"

A quick smack to the back of the head sent Naruto crashing down into his nearly finished bowl of ramen. "_BAKA!_" Sakura shouted.

"You're just mad because you didn't think of it" Truth be told, that was indeed the reason she was mad but Sakura had no intention of telling Naruto that. Instead she turned back to her bowl and continued eating. Naruto, however, seemed as depressed as Sakura had earlier.

"I could be using this month to get stronger."

"Yeah," Sakura agreed solemnly.

I don't have time to be playing games."

"We sure don't."

"We only have two years left."

Sakura dropped her chopsticks and stared at her food, fighting the painful memories of their teammate's escape. They could not do anything to stop Sasuke and they had nothing at their disposal that would bring him back. Naruto was right in saying that they needed to get stronger, but that alone would not guarantee his retrieval. Still, if Sakura was anything, she was hopelessly hopeful.

"Don't worry," she said. "We'll bring him back."

Naruto's mood did not change. "I'm not so sure anymore." He paid the cook and turned to leave when he noticed a little girl selling fortune cookies. "Hey mister," she said to Naruto. "Can you buy a cookie? I need money to buy my brother some new shuriken." Naruto asked the girl why she had to do something like that and laughed a little when she said it was because she lost his last set. Naruto opened his frog purse and bought all of the girl's cookies giving one to Sakura and keeping one for himself.

"For luck," he said before cracking the cookie open.

Sakura opened hers and read it to herself. _The love you lost shall be returned to you. Have the courage to embrace it. _The fortune brought a smile to her face and she turned to share it with Naruto but found his seat empty. He did, however, leave his fortune on the counter where his bowl had been. She picked it up, read it, and then smiled a little wider.

_What you seek will come to you. Hope shall determine the rest._

Back at the Auditorium…

Much to Anko, Iruka, and Genma's surprise and relief, only two auditions were left. Iruka nearly kissed Anko for scaring everyone else away but decided against it since she was too unpredictable. The last thing he wanted was Anko chasing him over the village screaming rape and threatening to sodomize him with a mic stand. Naruto and Sakura had just re-entered the auditorium as well, so the judges decided it was time to finish this Hell on Earth.

Speaking of Hell…

"Where the hell have you guys been!" Satan demanded of his minions who were bunched up in front of him.

One of the horned devils spoke up first, "Well, me and a few of the boys heard about this audition to join a band so we decided to give it a try. I swear half those guys were so bad that I shoved a toothpick in my eye just to distract myself from the pain. After than we came right back here."

"You were lucky!" shouted another in the back. "When the judges decided to take a break, the chick with the see-through shirt threatened to castrate both the men _AND_ the women who played like crap. I was like 'Hell yeah' but then the crowd freaking lost it. I had to come back here just to not get run over."

"Wait, wait, wait," Satan said to the crowd, waving his hands in the air for emphasis. "Chic? See through shirt? Castration!" His minions huddled together, fearing how their master would react.

"I think I'm in love."

Back to the Auditorium…Again…

"Oi! Naruto! Sakura! How's it going?" shouted a loud shinobi from the side entrance. It was not until he heard the sound of a dog barking that he realized it was Kiba and Akamaru. With them, was a very timid Hinata.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Naruto, thankful to see a few more friendly faces, though it still puzzled him the way Hinata would blush and hide her face whenever he looked her way.

"Shino came to audition."

Sakura and Naruto both shared a look of surprise. "Yeah, Hinata and I looked the same way when he told us. I didn't even know Shino liked music. Still can't be as bad as some of the banshee cries of heard coming from this building."

"Let's hope so," said Anko, who had been eavesdropping on the genins' conversation.

"Alright Shino. Show us what you got." The teenager with the shades walked onto center stage carrying a black case in the shape of a guitar. He laid the case on the ground and took out a venom-green bass guitar with a fierce looking Hercules beetle painted the body. As plugged the guitar up to an amp, Genma turned his fellow judges and said, "Three hours and this is the first kid to bring in an actual guitar. I say we just give him the slot."

Anko, being the skeptical one, dismissed the toothpick-chewing ninja's request. "No freebies. If this kid wants to play rocker he better be able to play."

"You just want the chance to castrate somebody," Iruka snapped.

She turned to the Chuunin and said in a sing-songy voice, "Watch it school boy or that person's you." Anko tapped a finger playfully on his nose and Iruka's heart skipped a beat.

Shino ignoring the commotion from the judges and began playing. The audience was speechless, Naruto included. Although partially due to act after act of ear numbing garbage, Shino's bass playing sounded like the music of the gods. Shino didn't seem like Shino, while he played. His passion for the sound was reflected in his movement as well. He played for two minutes before the judges stopped him.

"We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Naruto and Kiba chanted as they bowed to Shino. Anko also seemed moved by the brief performance. "That was unbelievable! I'd throw my bra on stage if I was wearing one!" Iruka passed out, blood spewing out of his nose profusely. "You're in kid!"

"…" was Shino's only response as he walked off stage.

Naruto, Sakura, Kiba, and the judges regained their composure as the final participant of the audition walked on stage. He wore a hood that hid all his face except for his mouth. Nonetheless, his lips seemed suspiciously familiar to Sakura. It took an unusually optimistic Anko to snap her out of her train of thought. "Alright kid, whenever you're ready."

Nothing could have prepared Naruto for what he saw next. The instruments that were set up on stage began to rise into the air and set themselves up. They then appeared to be playing themselves. Although Naruto lacked any real experience with this sort of music, the instruments seemed to be playing a call-to-arms. Then the boy on stage began to sing.

"There must be must be something you can recommend,  
I have lost my faith in man again.  
So sick of trying to pretend,  
Same pain, over and over again."

His voice was impressive, even if the song was a little too morbid for Naruto's taste. Then again, as Naruto began to take in the lyrics of the song, the melody seemed perfect.

"How much longer do you think we'll stand?  
So little left her to live for.  
By the time my life is at its e-e-end,  
I want it back, one more time  
to let me try one more time  
to live my life one more time"

The chorus had Naruto swaying back and forth. It spoke to the part of him that wanted the life the Kyubi stolen. From the day he was born to the day he dies, Naruto has and will always be the vessel for the nine-tailed demon fox. Why should he carry the burden when no one appreciated its significance? _I want my life back damnit!_

As the song continued, Naruto felt a presence in the back of the auditorium. Then he heard a quiet laugh that he could never forget. It was the same laugh he heard when Sasuke had been marked with the curse seal. It was the same laugh he heard when he first met Tsunade. It was also the same laugh his closest friend had inherited when betrayed his village.

"Orochimaru!" Naruto seethed. A ball of swirling chakra formed in his palm as he lunged from seat to seat for the legendary sannin. Orochimaru, who was standing against the back wall, never stopped smiling at his assailant and Naruto never noticed that the vocalist had stopped singing. His rasengan was inches from Orochimaru when he felt someone grab his wrist. He looked to see who had interfered and was stunned to see the face of the hooded singer revealed. Naruto found himself staring into the Sharingan eyes of Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke smirked. "Good to see you again, dobe." He then flung Naruto to the stage.

Naruto landed on his feet, but the shock at seeing Sasuke in Konoha was more than he could comprehend.

The judges, though terrified by the sight of Orochimaru, put themselves between him and the genins. Orochimaru merely laughed louder while an emotionless Sasuke simply stood there.

"So," Orochimaru began, "did my young apprentice make the cut?"


	3. Deal: Careful What You Agree To

Author's note: I just realize that I'm merging two different story ideas into one fic. Don't know how it, happened but it did. If you read on, you'll understand what I'm talking about. I also have to apologize to any NaruSaku fans reading my fic. I don't bash pairings and have nothing against this one in particular, but I am a big NaruHina and SasuSaku fan, and I'm starting to see hints at these revealing themselves. I swear I didn't intend for these things to happen. In fact, I thought I was going out of my way to avoid any pairings. Still, it's happening and there's nothing I can do short of reworking this entire chapter, and there's no way I'm doing that.

I'm too lazy!

So NaruSaku fans, if you have what it takes to continue reading, even after being warned, you've earned my respect and admiration.

* * *

Deals: Careful What You Agree To

"So," Sakura awkwardly began, "what do you think they're talking about?"

Sakura, Naruto, Shino, Hinata, and Kiba had been waiting nervously on the steps to the Hokage's building for nearly an hour. It was amazing how much had happened since the Akatsuki arrived that same morning. Naruto had been thrown into a competition for his life, Sakura had been made a drummer, auditions were held to get more members for the band, they found out Shino could play wicked bass, and Sasuke and Orochimaru were in Konoha having a very lengthy conversation with the Hokage.

"Who cares," Kiba said. He had something else on his mind. "Oi, Shino. When the hell did you learn to bass guitar?"

"…" responded Shino.

"Ano," Hinata began, "Shino said that he saw that guitar in a music store when he was five. The guitar was shaped like a beetle so he asked his father to buy it for him. He's spent every day since then learning how to play."

"If you knew that already, why did you act surprised when he said he was trying out?" Kiba asked.

"I was just surprised that he was actually going to join a group."

"So how come you didn't tell us before?"

Hinata glanced at Naruto before looking at the floor. "No one asked."

The door behind them finally opened. The group turned to see Shikamaru in his chuunin vest walking down the steps to them. "Tsunade-sama wanted me to inform you about what has been going on. Apparently, Sasuke found out Itachi would be entering this competition in order to win Naruto from Konoha. The rest is pretty typical Sasuke. He wants to beat his brother at something Itachi takes pride in and winning also means keeping him from getting what he wants. But before anyone gets their hopes up, Sasuke has made it clear he wants nothing to do with being a Leaf ninja again. This is purely for revenge."

Naruto just grunted and folded his arms. "_Tch_, even and idiot like me could figure that out. Why the hell is that snake bastard going along with this?"

Shikamaru scratched his head and looked away. "Here's her for-"

In the Hokage's Office…

"_YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR THE WHAT!_" Tsunade shouted in her drunken stupor. Her face was bright red, though no one in the room could figure out if it was because she was drunk, blushing, or just that pissed.

Orochimaru on the other hand simply smiled and held out his hands in a what-can-I-say pose. "For the endless supply of groupies Sasuke will have after he's reached star status. They will come in hordes and after having their way with him, I'll have an endless supply of the Uchiha bloodline!"

Tsunade still looked confused. "Why the hell do you still hang around this retard!" she demanded of the silent Uchiha.

Kakashi cleared his throat and gave his explanation. "Well, he did say that one of his 'ambitions,'" Kakashi made the quotations gesture to emphasize the word, "was to resurrect his clan. I just didn't expect him to do all in one night!" On the outside Kakashi seemed ashamed but inside he was screaming, _I'm proud of you boy! Glad I'm not a complete failure as an instructor! Send some of them hunnies my way!_

"Regardless," Tsunade turned her attention to Orochimaru, "I can't simply let one of your puppets waltz around my village as he pleases. And I'm disgusted that you dared step foot here."

"Hey!" shouted an irritated Sasuke, "Listen here you b-" Tsunade shot him a look that scared him shitless. Even Orochimaru, a man who had single handedly taken out a Kazekage and declared war on Konoha shuddered. Sasuke decided to reword what he said, "you very pretty lady. I'm no ones puppet." He pointed at his forehead which bore no protector indicating he belonged to a village. "And last time I checked, the Uchiha Estate is still the property of any living Uchiha, whether they serve Konoha or not."

Tsunade stared at him, trying to verify everything he just said. "Fine, but I'll be assigning an escort to you. As for you, Orochimaru, I want you out of this village. If you need to check in on you're boy toy, send word before you barge in. Otherwise, I end you vessel before you get a chance to use him."

"Likewise," Orochimaru said with the same smile on his face. "If you try to keep him from me when I return to take him back, I'll use the seal and kill him myself."

Back on the Steps…

"Naruto-kun, what are you doing?" Hinata asked shyly. After Shikamaru had dropped the bomb about Orochimaru's intention, Sakura had passed out and the guys were busy trying to revive her. Naruto, on the other hand, was busy with something else. For the past five minutes he had been carefully observing the village around him and then cracking open one of many fortune cookies he had purchased not so long ago from a little girl.

"Check this out Hinata-chan," he said almost as if he were in a trance. "These fortune cookies are magic. Every time I read one whatever it says comes true." Naruto opened one, which said, _True beauty is in the eye of the beholder._ Naruto pointed at a plastic bag floating near a wall. "That has got to be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen"

In Heaven…

"That's just some trash blowing in the wind!" God shouted. "Do you have any idea how complicated your circulatory system is!" The Almighty Father prepared to smite the mentally challenged blond when the Almighty Son held him back. (Yes, a Family Guy ref.)

"Just let it go dad! If he dies what else are we going to watch?"

Back to the Group, Shall We…

Shikamaru could not believe how much Naruto had lost it. Maybe Sasuke showing up today of all days was more than the guy could handle. Still, believing in such nonsense was beneath anyone who considered himself a respectable Shinobi. "Naruto, have some dignity and shut up about those troublesome cookies."

"If you think their so fake, prove it!" Naruto yelled angrily, tossing a cookie to Shikamaru. Shikamaru read the cookie out loud.

_Never doubt the powers of a cookie! A world of pain awaits you!_

Right after Shikamaru had finished, Ino and Temari walked up to the group and started yelling at the chuunin.

"Hey, lazy-ass! You owe me a date," the sand ninja stated.

"How dare you see other woman behind my back you two-timer!" said Ino. At this point, Shikamaru ran for his life. He was much faster than most would have expected for someone who stares at clouds all day. He was out of the group's sight when the girls finally caught up to him. The screams that came out of him scared Hinata so much that she clung to Naruto's jacket and refused to let go until it was over.

It was at this moment that Sakura decided to revive herself. Seeing Hinata scared out of her mind and Naruto so close, she assumed Naruto was doing something perverted. Sakura knocked Naruto away from Hinata and proceeded to stomp him into the ground. "How dare you come on to someone as innocent as Hinata! Have you no shame!"

Everyone was so busy watching Naruto getting beaten to death that no one noticed Orochimaru out of the building and towards the gate. In fact no one noticed Sasuke standing behind them until Naruto pointed a bloody hand at him from his hole in the ground. Sakura stopped beating Naruto and stared quietly at her ex-teammate, not sure how she should react.

"The Hokage wants to speak to us," he said without emotion. "She wants the dobe and everyone else to go home."

Sakura turned to the crater to help Naruto off the ground, but the hole was empty. All that was left was a fortune cookie he must have dropped in his haste to disappear.

In the Office…

When the two of them finally arrived in the Hokage's office, Tsunade was standing in the middle of the room. She told both of them to stand in from of her and before they could even suspect that she was up to something she quickly performed a series of hand seals. Sasuke was about to react when Tsunade rammed two fingers into his gut. She did the same to Sakura except for the how her hand was shaped into an 'O'. Sasuke felt woozy and then dropped to his knees. Sakura did pretty much the same.

"What the hell did you do to us?" Sasuke demanded from the woman standing over him.

"Like I said before, you aren't going anywhere by yourself. I just bound you to that escort." Tsunade leaned in to whisper in the boy's ear. "Think of it as an invisible leash, where you're the dog and she's the master. You won't be able to move more than three meters from her. However, wherever she goes, you go and it doesn't work the other way around. And if you're thinking you can simply kill her and be free, think again. She dies, you die."

"And how exactly are we suppose to go home? We live on opposite sides of the village" Sasuke argued.

'Then I guess she's staying with you at your place for the next month. I'll tell her family she's on a top priority mission. You could use this time to help her learn the drums. Genma is an excellent teacher, but a second tutor couldn't hurt."

"Are you out of your mind! She's not staying with me for a month and I sure as hell am not going to be led around like a dog!"

Sakura was struggling with emotions from Sasuke's statement. A part of her was hurt, another part wanted to rip his head off his shoulders, and the rest of her overjoyed. But there were some issues about this that bothered her greatly. "Tsunade-sama, if I have to live with him, don't you think three meters is a little…restricting?"

The hokage thought about that one. Her apprentice did have a point, but changing it would mean removing the jutsu then starting over and she was sure the boy would not just stand there and let her. "Just deal with it the best you can. It's only a month." Shizune and Kakashi walked into the room. "These two need to be taken to the hospital until the side effects of my jutsu wear off. When they're well enough, they'll check themselves out and head to the Uchiha's place."

Kakashi carried Sasuke while Shizune did the same for Sakura. They turned to leave, but not before Tsunade said one last thing to her apprentice.

"Have fun with your new pet Sakura. There's more to this jutsu then meets the eye," Tsunade said enthusiastically. Sakura saw her wink before she blacked out.

Some Open Field in Konoha…

This day had been a living hell for Naruto, and all he wanted to do now was sleep, even though it was only six o'clock. The blond boy stared blankly at the sky watching the clouds slowly glide by. _Wow. This is really relaxing. Maybe Shikamaru is on to something. _The soft grass beneath him and the cool breeze were a comfort he felt he well deserved for what he had endured. Precious sleep embraced him soon after he closed his eyes.

When Naruto opened his eyes, he found himself in a dark, damp room with a large gate in front of him. His head dropped in frustration when he realized where he was and who he was with.

**Look whose here, **the deep voice of the Kyubi boomed. **What brings you to these parts? Did you come to offer yourself as a sacrifice?**

Naruto sighed. "No you stupid fox. I just wanted to take a nap, but for some reason I ended up in this place. So point me to the exit and I'll be on my way." The giant eyes of the demon fox simply stared at him. "No? Then I'll find my own way out. Thanks for nothing." Naruto turned and waved mockingly at the prisoner.

**Aren't you going to ask for my help you ungrateful brat?**

"Unless you know how to play electric guitar I don't see any way you can help me," Naruto said, still trying to find his way out.

**What makes you think I can't? **That being said, Naruto sprinted back to the fox's cage. "Can you!"

**Kid, my sound will have you begging to let me eat you? **The fox said with pride. However, this only confused Naruto. "What's that supposed to mean! Can you play or not!"

**I'm probably the best damn guitarist around. In my thousand years of life only one person has ever outplayed me and that bastard is dead.**

"And why would you help me?"

The fox could only bang his head against the great gate in frustration.** Kid, you probably _taste_ stupid. If you lose, the Akatsuki get you. I may not give a rat's ass what they do to you, but I have a clear picture of what they plan to do with me. Still, there is one thing you need to do before I help. Prove you have the soul of a rocker. I'm not about to do a pansy any favors. Do this and you'll have all the groupie ass you can handle!**

With that, Naruto found himself waking up…for real this time. He was surprised to find that it was well into the night. He was also surprised to see that the fox had left him a gift. In his lap was what appeared to be a normal electric guitar. Of course Naruto doubted that anything from the Kyubi could be considered normal. He wore the shoulder strap, which had his name embroidered into it, and held the guitar in the same way Shino had and took a moment to admire his new present. It was after all the best gift he had ever received. Hell, Naruto couldn't even remember the last time someone had given him anything of value.

Naruto felt powerful with the guitar in his hands. He couldn't explain the feeling, but it felt almost as if the guitar completed him. The image of the fire-red fox at the bottom corner, which was reminiscent of what Neji had seen during their fight in the Chuunin Exam, looked like it was trying to escape from its black background. It suited their relationship perfectly. Naruto especially like the way the fox had added a swirl of orange chakra that around the fox that seemed to feed the neck of the guitar.

**_Rest up, kid. You have another long day ahead of you tomorrow_,** the fox said in his mind.

For once, Naruto agreed fully with the demon that had caused him so much trouble in life. He thought about heading home but decided not to. His spot on the grass was good enough and the stars in the night sky were comforting. He cradled his instrument and drifted off to sleep. Only one thing still puzzled him about what the Kyubi had said. _What the hell is a groupie?_

The Uchiha Mansion, Middle of the Night…

Sasuke was dead tired, but many things were keeping him awake. The first was being under a roof he had not seen in a year and in a village he had betrayed for power. The second was the pink-haired girl sleeping in the same room three meters away on a separate mattress. How could she sleep so soundly in someone else's house? Did she do this often?

Sasuke was also sick and tired of being yanked towards her by the invisible leash every time she rolled over. Sure Sakura had warned him that she moved around a lot in her sleep, but he had insisted on staying as far away from her as possible and his pride would not allow him to move his bed closer to make the pulling stop. The Uchiha hoped this small revenge against Itachi would be worth all of this trouble.

Sasuke was just about to fall asleep when the girl in his room woke up. "I'm hungry," she said.

Without turning to look at her he grumbled, "Just wait for the morn—_OOF_" Sasuke had been pulled right off his bad and hit the floor hard. He was then dragged from his room, through the hallway, and into the kitchen. "What the hell's wrong with you! It's bad enough I'm stuck living with you for a month, but now you drag me from my bed just so you can stuff your face with _my_ food? Have some sympathy!"

What Sasuke didn't know was that at night, Inner Sakura had greater control over Sakura's body and her patience had just run out. She lunged at Sasuke, picked him up by his shirt, and slammed him against a wall. "Have some _sympathy_! Listen up you jack-ass! Today has to be the worst day of my life! First I get forced into a band as the drummer and then I had to sit through three hours of the most god awful music I've ever heard! But worst of all, you returned to the village and get my hopes up that you just might have come to your senses.

"Instead, I learn that you're only doing this to get revenge and start a harem to breed you Uchiha clan back to life! As if that wasn't enough, you've treated me like crap since you got here and _I'VE_…_HAD_…_ENOUGH_!" She slammed Sasuke into the wall each time to emphasize those last three words.

She then dropped her voice to a sweet tone. "So do yourself a favor." Sakura took the fortune cookie she had found when Naruto disappeared.

"Have a cookie," she shoved the cookie into Sasuke's gaping mouth, "and _SHUT THE HELL UP!_!"

Sakura then released Sasuke and headed towards the fridge. Sasuke was left speechless. He had seen her act that way when Naruto had pissed her off, but she had never directed that rage to him before. He now had a great deal of respect for Naruto having survived so long.

"_Damn that was sexy!" _said a voice inside Sasuke's head.

"_Who's that?_" Sasuke asked the voice.

"_I'm you libido!_" the voice responded.

"_My what?_"

"_You better half, you mojo, your giggity-giggity!_"

"_Huh_?"

"_Your sex-drive fool! I'm sick and tired of being neglected you bastard!_"

"_I haven't been neglecting you_," Sasuke said. "I _just have others things to take care of first_."

"_Dude, we're gonna be old and impotent by the time you kill Itachi_."

"_Kiss my ass you stupid voice!_ _I'm only 14!_"

"_Fine, be that way! You may still have your early-teen innocence to shield you, but in a few years when you're at your sexual peak your ass is mine! Wait for me sweet pink haired girl! Your dreams will soon be a reality!_"

"_Whatever_."

With that, the voice surrendered. Sasuke took a seat at the table across from Sakura, who had a banana and a glass of milk. Sasuke had to admit that the voice made a fair argument. Sakura did look cuter when she was angry. Plus, being shoved against the wall was pretty hot. Who would have thought Sasuke's main turn-on would be fearing for his life.

Unfortunately, such thoughts needed to take a back seat for revenge and nothing was going to change that. Well, staring at Sakura while she ate that banana might do the trick so Sasuke directed his attention to the fortune cookie she had forced into his mouth. He cracked the cookie and unfolded the paper hoping to find something that would console him..

It said:_ You are very negative in words, act, and feeling. Keep it up and you're never getting laid._


	4. Discovery: Who's That Rocking Out?

Author's note: This chapter didn't turn out as well as I'd like but I knew I was going to have trouble with this chapter. Come on! I have a month for these guys to get good enough to compete with Itachi, who excels at all things, and his band of hardcore rock shinobi. On top of that, My first wave of exams are approaching and I'm slightly behind on my reading (Ironically, the class I have the most catching up to do is in History of Rock Music. Then again, that info might come in handy in later chapters.) I think I'll have to put my writing on hold after the next chapter, but I will definitely try to finish it!

Conscience: ahem, didn't you say that about your last fic that's still not gong anywhere fast?

Me: Hey, I added another chapter so get off my back!

Enjoy.

Discovery: Who's That Rocking Out?

A few days had passed since the Akatsuki had arrived and all hell broke loose. Sakura had begun her lessons with Genma, proving to be a quick study when it came to banging on things. When Genma asked how she was able to pick it up so fast, her only comment was, _It's easier than bringing a dead fish back to life_. Sasuke, on the other hand wanted to die. Being invisibly linked to the pink haired kunoichi was not exactly a walk in the park, especially where the bathroom was involved. While they were at his house, Sakura forced him to use a blindfold. While they were in public, Sasuke was forced to accompany her into the girl's bathroom and wait patiently in a neighboring stall.

_Oh, how the mighty have fallen._

Shino was busy being Shino as his bass playing needed little work. When the bug-obsessed kid learned that Naruto had obtained a guitar, Shino did his best to teach him the basics. However, he learned soon enough that paying attention was not one of Naruto's strong points. So instead, Shino decided to just tell him where to hold his fingers, have him pluck the string, and then told him what note he was playing. He used the same method the next day when he taught him chords.

Naruto may not have been able to remember the names of the notes or chords, but he had a keen ear and memorized where his fingers needed to be to get the sound he wanted, be it note or chord. Shino thought it was freakish. Then again, he thought everything about Naruto was freakish, from his boundless stamina to his bottomless stomach.

Despite his speedy progress, Naruto was pissed. He thought that after everything he had done in the past two days, the Kyubi would be satisfied and finally help him out. When he asked the Kyubi why he was holding out, the great beast merely said, **Making noise doesn't mean you've passed my test, kid. Your sound lacks feeling. Now quite bothering me, I'm trying to take a nap!**

Since Shino had other things to do Naruto found himself wondering aimlessly through the village with his guitar on his back. When he finally stopped to look up, he saw Hinata sitting on a bench with her eyes closed listening to some music via a CD player. What was surprising about this was that Hinata was nodding her head back and forth. On top of that, she had a slight grin on her face. Curious, Naruto approached the girl and tapped her on the shoulder.

Hinata freaked, falling off the bench. She quickly rose to her feet looking for something to hide behind. When she could not find a tree or wall, she brought her CD player to her chest and began twiddling with her fingers nervously. "N-N-Naruto-kun, you sc-scared me," she stated, still trying to get her heartbeat under control.

"No kidding," the boy said dumbfounded "I'm really sorry." They both remained silent for a few moments, not knowing what to say.

"Were you g-going to ask me something?" the shy girl asked.

Naruto scratched his head. "Oh, nothing really," he started. "I was just wondering what you were listening to. You seemed…different."

Hinata blinked, not knowing how she should take his remark. "I-I guess I got carried away." Hinata felt exposed but continued anyways. "This is the Fallen Shinobi farewell Album. They used to be Leaf ninja a long time ago but they got permission from the Fourth Hokage to retire and travel outside the village as a rock band. I was k-kind of depressed when I heard they were really calling it quits so I came out here to cheer myself up." She was proud that she could say that much to Naruto, but decided to sit down before she fainted.

"I didn't know you liked rock music Hinata-chan," Naruto said, genuinely surprised.

"Most people don't think so and I don't talk about it. Besides, my father doesn't approve of this kind of music."

Naruto thought for a moment and then sat next to her on the bench. He had heard from Neji how strict the Hyuga household was. Still, here was Hinata listening to music her own father disapproved of. There was more to Hinata than met the eyes. He decided to get her opinion on the question that had been bugging him all day.

"Hinata-chan, do you know what a soul of a rocker is?"

Hinata was unsure how to respond. She looked at the ground before speaking. "I'm not sure if I'm the person you should be asking. Most rock stars are filled with confidence and don't let anything anyone has to say get to them. If that's what it means to have a soul of a rocker then I guess you already have one." She hesitated before adding the next part. "The only difference I can see is that real rock stars let there emotions show in their music. I've watched you practice with Shino and you're really good, but just making the right sounds isn't really rock." _Yes! I didn't stutter once!_

"But how do I do that?"

"I'm sorry Naruto-kun. I really don't know." They both seemed to sulk for a moment, and then Hinata held out the CD she had been listening to. "Why don't you borrow this? You might find it a little depressing, but maybe it could help give you an idea of what it means to show your emotions through music."

Naruto did not think something depressing would fit his situation, but if Hinata thought it could help him then he was going to take her word for it. The blond boy looked at the CD in her hands and slowly took it from her. "Thank you Hinata-chan, I'll listen to this the second I get home. Why don't you stop by our practice tomorrow? I'm guessing we'll need all the support we can get."

I wide smile snuck onto the quite girl's face and her cheeks turned color. "Hai!"

Sakura's Practice Session…

"Alright Sakura, I've got nothing else to teach you," said the toothpick chewing jounin. "You're perfectly capable of working with the band tomorrow."

"It's about time!" shouted Sasuke. The raven-haired boy had been holding it since they started that morning. However, there was no way he was going to make it back to his house.

The two ran as fast as they could to an old bookstore no one they knew ever went into. Sakura was about to run into the girl's restroom when Sasuke grabbed her arm. "Sakura, I have been going in and out of girl's bathrooms for the past two days and I refuse to go into another one. For the sake of what little dignity I have left, please let me use the men's restroom."

The look on his face was so pitiful Sakura could not say no. She made sure no one was looking their way before she led him inside. She found two things immediately wrong with her situation. First, there was no lock on the bathroom door to prevent anyone from walking in while she waited. Second, the urinals, which Sasuke demanded he be allowed to use, were on the opposite side of the toilet stalls so Sakura had no way of hiding herself. "You better make this quick pretty boy."

Sasuke took his rightful place in front of the urinal and proceeded to bleed the lizard. Sakura did her best to hide next to him in front of the stall furthest from the door. "You better not be peeking," Sasuke told her, being to relieved to finally pee in a urinal to care how she reacted. Sakura could only blush considering the thought had crossed her mind.

Just then the door to the restroom opened and in walked a bookstore customer. Sakura was horrified, but tried to act like everything was completely normal. The very confused man could not do the same. "Um, excuse me. Ma'am?"

"You got a problem buddy!" the pink haired girl snapped. The look on her face scared the man so bad he lost all need to use the restroom and ran out crying. Sakura let out a breath of relief.

"Nicely played," Sasuke complimented.

"Thank you." She returned

_FLASH!_

When the blinding light had subsided, Sakura and Sasuke were staring into the lens of a camera held by none other than Ino. She had seen the two walk into the bookstore together and followed. When she saw the two of them walk into the boy's restroom, what was a gossipy girl suppose to do? Grab a camera and capture the memory on film!

"Ino-pig I swear to god if you don't give me that camera, men will flee in horror when they see what I do to you!"

"Are you kidding me! This'll be worth a small fortune if I sell it to the village tabloids. You're going to have to pry this little baby from my cold dead fingers," she said waving the camera mockingly from the doorway.

"THAT CAN BE ARANGED!" Sakura lunged for her rival, forgetting entirely about her bounded charge.

"Sakura, wait. I'm still attached to-" the boy had tried to say right before Sakura bolted. What ended up coming out was:

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Somewhere in Konoha…

Despite wanting to go home and listen to the CD, Naruto felt very hungry and was not one to deny his good friend sustenance. He stopped by his favorite ramen stand, ate a meager thirty bowls, and paid the owner. When he stepped out of the shop, he saw the lazy chuunin walking by.

"Oi Shikamaru. Where're you off to?"

"I'm going cloud gazing. Nothing you'd be interested in," the chuunin said lazily hoping the blond boy would just go away.

"Cool, can I come with? I need to let this food settle and cloud watching might be just the thing I need."

Needless to say, Shikamaru was stunned. "You…_want_…to go cloud watching?" _Oh my god, the world must be coming to an end!_

They headed to Shikamaru's favorite spot and were greeted by Chouji, who was already munching on snacks. "Naruto, I didn't know you were coming. If I did I would have brought more food." Naruto was speechless when he saw the pile of food.

"Chouji, you have enough there to feed a small village for a couple of days."

The two boys took their places on the ground and just stared into space. There were different forms of relaxation. A person who has been journeying for several days finds sleep in a comfortable bed relaxing. Someone who has been working in the hot sun all day may find a cold shower relaxing. For Naruto, who had been thrown into a world of music he knew next to nothing about, a calm afternoon under a nice blue and white sky was all he needed.

"Yup," came Naruto.

"Yup," came Shikamaru.

"Yup," came Chouji.

'**_Yup_,' **a voice from within Naruto boomed

All of a sudden, the trio heard a loud commotion in the distance and it was heading their way. They decided to ignore it, hoping it would go away. It didn't. Out of the blue and jumping right over them was Ino with a camera in hand.

"Nah, nah," she taunted, sticking out her tongue behind her.

"Come back here with that camera you bitch!" Sakura said a she leaped over the three.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLP MEEEEEEEEEE!"

Naruto could not stop himself, "Try not to stress you voice to badly Sasuke-chan! You're gonna need that for tomorrow's practice."

"NARUTO YOU BASTARD!" Sasuke shouted, fading in the distance. The world was quite again and the trio once again stared up into the sky.

Naruto's House One Hour Later…

"Well, since I'm here I might as well listen to this," the boy said aloud to know one in particular. He took the CD Hinata had given him and put it in his stereo. Naruto, having been warned about the gloomy content, prepared himself for the worse. He was surprised, a recurring theme in this chapter apparently, that the first song was not half bad. In fact, Naruto understood why Hinata had been acting the way she had while she was listening to it.

The lyrics were a little depressing. The song told the story of a dangerous mission gone wrong. The shinobi saw their leader as a strong and brave man, but the leader himself was as scared as the rest of them. When he saw his comrades dying around him, he did what he was trained to do and pushed on forward, completing the mission. However, the loss of his friends stained his heart wishing that he had fallen with them all those years ago. It brought a tear to Naruto's eye. That was, after all, the life he had chosen for himself.

The music behind the vocals seemed to enforce the lyrics. Where the lyrics emphasized the sorrow in every shinobi's heart, the instrumentals seemed to embody the rush that comes with putting your life on the line. The combination of the two emotions was intoxicating. Naruto was especially getting into the guitar solos. Without even thinking about it he was jumping up and down, cradling an invisible guitar and playing strings that did not exist. The sound just seemed to bring out all of Naruto's darker emotions. Sadness at his lonely upbringing and solitude, Jealousy at all of the other kids his age who took their families for granted, Fear at the thought of losing the few loved one he had left, and Anger at the village who caused him all this trouble in the first place. Sure the fox might have been the root of the problem, but it was the village the made him an outcast for something he had no control over.

_Screw Them, Damnit!_ He screamed in his mind. With that, he found himself transported before the cage of the Kyubi.

The demon fox grinned a menacing grin behind his bars. **Well done boy. Air guitar hasn't been that entertaining since Bill and Ted. Now those two were decent appetizers, though they left me with a serious case of the munchies.**

"Eh? What exactly did I do?"

**You were finally able to let go of ALL of your emotions. You stopped being a wussy and finally stood up to your inner demons…in a manner of speaking. Since they are no longer bottled up inside, they will flow freely through your hands as you perform. You fulfilled your end of the bargain by finding your inner rocker and now I will live up to mine!** A wave of orange chakra burst from behind the bars and engulfed Naruto. He felt a burning sensation in his arms but ignored the pain. When the pain subsided, Naruto found three black streaks swirling around each forearm.

**Those are my marks that will contain my awesome skill, but if you want to harness it you will need to maintain the same state of mind you just experienced. Do that and all will bow before you!**

Konoha Hospital…

"Did you really have to beat her that badly? I'm pretty sure you killed her," Sasuke said, rubbing his own bruises.

Sakura merely snorted at the Uchiha's empty concern. She had every right to react in such a way with her reputation as a lady on the line. Besides, the Sharingan using whiner had no right to complain since she was taking care of his injuries personally. "If you'd prefer to keep your broken ribs, keep talking." That had Sasuke closing his mouth no time flat.

_Yeah, you better shut up, you sexy boy, you! _Inner-Sakura shouted. "Besides," Real Sakura continued, "I doubt there's a god or demon that would collect that soul."

From the Emergency Room down the hall they heard many frantic medic-nin tending to Ino.

"She losing a lot of blood and I can't stop the bleeding. She's fading fast people."

"Begin pumping the heart manually!"

"Where is it!"

"It's that purple thing that looks like it was ripped out, stomped on and then shoved back in."

"Oh I see it," said the same medic-nin, fainting soon after.

_BEEEEEEEEEEEP!_

"She's gone. Time of death is 7:30 pm. Let's get something to eat guys. I'm pretty sure we all lost our lunches out of this one."

In Heaven…

"Hey Dad, we have incoming," Jesus shouted.

"Bring her in," came the Almighty.

The blond walked into the grand hall, shaking her head in disappointment. "Uh," she grunted in disgust, "I'll be damned if I'm going to spend the rest of eternity in this dump. I'll need a team of decorators, painters, Fung-Shway specialists, beauticians for yours truly, and the giant fat man that's shining is giving me a headache. He has to go."

The two just stared in silence. The Holy Spirit walked in, saw the situation, and quickly walked out. No use getting involved with this mess, now was there?

Ino began tapping her feat vehemently. "Well, what's everyone just standing around for? Move people, move!"

"Send her back! Send her back!" God shouted.

"Why not just send her to hell?" His Son asked.

God gave his Son an odd look. "Aren't you the one that went on about compassion, kindness and all that junk? Satan may be an ass at times, but not even he deserves this!"

Back At The Hospital…

_BEEP, BEEP … BEEP, BEEP… BEEP, BEEP… BEEP, BEEP… BEEP, BEEP_

"Nobody eat a thing boys and girls! We got a live one here!"


	5. Getting Started: You suck!

Yes! I've finally finished this #$ chapter. I can't believe I had to start all over. Sorry if it took so long.

To the person who asked a couple of questions: Truth is I had no idea what the rating system was like. I assumed that M was mature and chose it to stay on the safe side. Besides, I'm sure there are several people out there who would find my use of God as a comical figure offensive and worthy of the M rating.

As for why I didn't allow anonymous reviews, I disabled that feature because I didn't want spam reviews. Unfortunately, I had one useless review already by none other than a guy (or gal) who thought I cared what their opinion of Naruhina was. To each his own I say, just don't let my review section be your spamming ground. Still, I might as well re-enable it. I just wish I knew a way to delete annoying reviews like that.

Getting Started: You suck!

Somewhere Non-Naruto…

All was peaceful on the Jundai campus as Kaname Chidori rested peacefully under a tree. The day had been perfect. Class had come and gone with ease, she had passed all her finals, summer was approaching, and most importantly, there had not been a single…

_KABOOM!_

…explosion. Deep down inside the high school girl, her mirror of sanity had shattered. She rose from her resting spot with murderous intent, running straight for the sound of screaming students and the smell of destruction. One boy was to slow to react and was left sprawled on the ground with a foot print on his face. Quickly she ran to the source of Chaos and found her target, the bane of her existence.

"Sousuke, you're going to get it now!" She screamed, reaching into her bag for her weapon of choice. Sousuke, knowing full well what was coming, put himself in the fetal position to reduce injury to himself. He knew full well what was coming.

When a moment had passed and he found himself not in pain, he peaked up at the girl who looked to be in a middle of a panic attack.

"Where is it! I could have sworn I packed it in my bag this morning. No, forget that! I know I packed it this morning!" She glanced behind her, under her, and even checked down her blouse. Sousuke, without understanding why, began blushing, but still lacked the sense to keep his mouth shut.

"This is just my opinion, but perhaps you left it in your bed. I know for a fact that you have slept with cradled in your arms many-" Sousuke never got the opportunity to finish his sentence. A clean punch in the face by Kaname sent him flying.

"How the hell would you know that!" Having taken care of that problem she continued her search, which now involved the interrogation of onlookers and passersby. "Have you seen it? Have you seen the Precious! Hey you! Don't run away from me!"

Succumbing to defeat, she let out one final cry.

"WHAT THE –"

Konoha (and back to the story)…

"—HELL NARUTO? I've heard better sounds coming from a dying cat!" shouted an irritated Sasuke.

A full week had passed since Naruto, Sakura, Shino and Sasuke had formed a band in order to compete against the Akatsuki and thereby save Naruto from a slow and agonizing death. Naruto, having never played an instrument before the challenge, was playing lead guitar with the kyubi's help. Sakura by Tsunade's order was forced to play drums. Surprisingly enough she was very capable as a drummer and found herself enjoying her instrument, though you'd never be able to get her to say it. Shino, being the more experienced of the four (who would have guessed), played bass, while Sasuke was on vocals and rhythm guitar.

Since the day Sakura and Naruto were able to handle their parts (both had learned everything they needed in three days…go figure) the band would rehearse from the time the sun rose till well into the night, playing songs they listened to from Hinata's extremely large collection of rock music. The quiet girl had never missed a practice, though the entire time she could be found writing in a black notebook as she listened to them perform. Every now and then, she was able to convince a few other friends to join in and listen. They were all amazed at how well each of them had progressed individually, but as a group they pretty much…sucked.

**Blasphemy! Kid, eat him! I demand someone eat him!**

Naruto ignored the demon, but was not about to let Sasuke get away with his insult. "Oh yeah! Well, I'm sick and tired of all the morbidly depressing shit you've been making us play! How the hell are we suppose to win this god-damn thing if our audience kills themselves because of our music!"

"…" came Shino, thinking to himself that the stupid blond had a point.

Sasuke struck back. "You know as well as I do that I can sing any style out there. I just prefer this one. You play what again? I think it was called…crap?"

That was the last straw. Immersed in the Kyubi's chakra to the point that fangs and claws were appearing, Naruto lunged at Sasuke with every intention of ripping out his tongue and making a snack out of it, assuming of course the Kyubi was a good little fox. His personal mission was cut short when he was struck down by a very angry pink-haired girl.

_WHACK!_ was the only sound that was heard from the room in the academy where they rehearsed. With Naruto facedown on the ground, Sakura stood triumphantly over the boy with a paper-fan in hand.

"BAKA! If you kill him, whose suppose to sing for us? I sure as hell am not going through another Audition from Hell!"

Heaven…

"You see God? Nothing beats the pleasure of seeing someone beat the crap out of another person," Satan said to God.

"True dat," replied God, munching on some popcorn. He offered some to his Son who politely refused.

_Damn Sadists_, the Holy Shepherd thought to himself.

"Excuse me, Almighty sir?" said a herald from the door on the other side of the great hall. He seemed to be having problems with a viscous beast on the other side. "We have an extremely hostile visitor from the Full Metal Panic universe demanding she get her toy back. Something about a boy named Sousuke needing his medicine."

"I want my Precious back you Miserable Bastard!" came a very angry voice from beyond the doors.

"Get her number for me," shouted Satan to the Herald. He then turned back to God. "You're not going to give it back to her yet, are you?"

The Holy Father merely smiled and said, "Of course not!" (Inner-God: _Nobody calls me a miserable bastard damnit!_)

Back in the Academy Room…

"Sasuke-kun," said a very timid Hinata, "You really shouldn't pick on him like that. Naruto-kun had a lot of problems even before entering this competition. His freedom, and probably his life, is depending on this band winning." She gave a sympathetic look to Naruto and then went back to writing.

"Yeah," Sakura added. "It's not as if you have anything to lose!"

Sasuke turned to face Sakura with rage written all over his face. "WHO…THE HELL…ARE YOU TO TELL _ME_ SHIT!" He demanded.

Sakura was stunned silent at the anger emanating from her former teammate. Saying she was scared would have been an understatement, but her Inner Self was a little turned on to say the least. _Spin the wheel, raggedy man!_

"This has to be the worst week of my life since the day my clan was slaughtered! I haven't had a decent nights sleep because _someone _gets the urge in the middle of the night to wake up and stuff her face with MY food. How am I supposed to live with myself when I've been forced into a woman's bathroom at least twice everyday? Let's not forget the time you had the sudden urge to try Mexican food! You chicks are disgusting and I've been to Men's Restroom at that place!"

Sasuke should have kept his mouth shut. Naruto, having learned from experience, was already making some distance between him and the seething kunoichi drummer. Shino followed Naruto's lead. In fact, had Sasuke stopped right there, he might have avoided what was to come, might have being the key phrase.

However, Sasuke's balls had taken over and were doing the talking now.

"But on top of all that, I'm stuck in a band with the worst drummer I've ever met! It's a miracle I'm not permanently deaf! Wait, I take that back! I'm pissed I'm not deaf because that means I have to keep listening to your obnoxious banging! Please, shove those sticks in my ears and put me out of my misery!"

_Oh, if you want these sticks that badly then you're gonna get them smart ass! _Inner Sakura shouted with rage. Taking both sticks in one hand, she moved with lighting fast speed and all the strength she could muster.

_Haruno Sakura Style: Sennen Gurushi!_

Sasuke's ass will never forgive his balls.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

Ten Minutes Later…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

Heaven…

"Ouch!" God said, instinctively covering his nonexistent anus.

"Oh Hells no!" Satan said, tilting his head as if to get a better look at the damage.

"I almost feel bad for the guy…almost."

The three men looked at each other in silence and then all of them, including passive Jesus, began laughing hysterically. "Hey Shorty," God called to his Herald. "Tell Psycho Girl she can have her fan back!"

Back in Konoha, Ten More Minutes Later…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—" Sasuke's unceasing cry of pain was interrupted by a quick smack across the face by Naruto.

"Pull yourself together man! Geez, I don't remember being this much of a baby when it happened to me."

If Sasuke had not been in so much pain, he would have said something like, _You probably liked it, _but being told to man up by Naruto stung about as much as his physical injury. Carefully, he reached behind himself and pulled out the inserted objects from his rectum. Despite the pain and embarrassment, he still had enough nerve to make one final threat. "Sakura, I swear on my aching ass, you will pay. Before the day I die, you will pay…"

Hinata had actually stopped writing long enough in her notebook to witness the scarring event. No one, save the hero of our story, noticed that the girl had not moved or blinked once since it happened. "Hinata are you alright?" Naruto asked.

She snapped out of her trance at the sound of his voice and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. I just might have to go through counseling for the rest of my life."

Naruto laughed at what he thought was a joke (a hell of a joke considering it came from Hinata), but Hinata had been all too serious. In fact, she was mentally deciding what would be a good date for her first session and calculating the monthly cost.

The band, having lost the energy to continue practicing, just sat there quietly waiting for a miracle to happen. Sasuke nursed his wound, trying not to sit in a way that would bring him pain, while Sakura proceeded sterilize her drumsticks. Naruto seemed to be having an argument with himself. He was muttering something about Guitars playing, groupies, and not wanting to eat his band mates (that had everyone staring at him for a while).

Shino however was staring at Hinata in a very…who the hell am I kidding? No one even noticed that he was staring because of those damn shades! Still, he was the first to break the silence.

"Hinata, why don't you tell everyone where our problems lie," he requested of the girl.

The shy girl nearly soiled herself at the thought of criticizing her friends. "W-Why me, Shino-kun?"

"First, I'm asking you because there is no one else to ask." This had Hinata casting her head down in shame. _Obviously._ "But more importantly, because we will be performing in front of people who love this music almost as much as you do. If anybody knows what our flaws are, it would be you."

Hinata glanced at everyone. Sakura gave her a reassuring smile and Sasuke nodded his approval. She looked at Naruto, not willing to go through with it without his consent. He gave her a toothy grin and said, "Don't worry Hinata. I'm not going to hate you for helping us out. Say what's on your mind." A much better choice of words from his original thought of _yeah, tell everyone how much Sasuke and his depressing songs suck!_

She took a breath and began "Well, none of you are really bad at playing your instruments. As musicians, you're all very good, but none of you except for maybe Shino-kun know how to play as a group. Sakura, as the drummer you are the heart of the band. Everyone needs to be looking to you to know what they need to be playing, but the opposite is happening. You are looking to everyone else for your part and as a result, it sounds like you are constantly trying to catch up.

"Sasuke, Naruto was right when he said that the songs you are doing aren't enough to make it in this competition. People from different countries are going to show up for this event and every one of them will have different tastes. If you know you can handle other vocal styles then practice different kinds of music. Also, I noticed that being so near to Sakura as she plays is a real problem for you, but insulting her isn't going to heal the damage done to your inner ears. First you should go to the hospital and then you should tell the Hokage that the bond is getting in the band's way."

Sakura, hearing that last part gave a guilty look to Sasuke and placed her hands over her ears. They began to glow green with her healing jutsu as she set to work on healing the damage. "Gomen," she said quietly, not looking Sasuke in the eye.

Sasuke, not knowing what else to say, replied with, "Same here."

Hinata finally turned to Naruto. "Naruto-kun, I've never heard anyone play the guitar the way you do. It's amazing to me that a week ago you probably didn't even know what a guitar was. Still, all the talent in the world can't help you if you aren't willing to play with your band. You're not supposed to be competing against Sasuke-kun, remember? I understand that the two of you are rivals and everything, but if you can't use that to your bands advantage then please put it aside."

Hinata looked at the floor, not wanting to see how upset she had made the boy she admired. Naruto was definitely ticked that he was to some degree at fault, but like he promised, he did not take it out on Hinata. "Thank you Hinata," he said, his hand patting her on the head. "I'll definitely get better even if it means working with that bastard."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched and he was about to snap back when a guest opened the door to the room. Shikamaru, being his lazy self, yawned as he entered the room. He glanced around and decided not to ask any questions. Instead he went straight to the point.

"Hokage-sama wants to see all of you." He noticed that Hinata was in the room. "Hokage-sama wants to see everyone that's in the band. If you know what's good for you, get there fast. She caught Jiraiya snooping through her underwear drawer and she's been pissed all day."

Everyone got up to go. Sasuke had trouble standing so Sakura helped him up. The two of them and Shino were the first to leave but Naruto held back for a while. "Are you going to come with us, Hinata-chan? I'm sure Hokage-sama wouldn't mind" _Plus, she's always nicer when you're around._

"No, I think I need to be heading home. My father thinks I've been training these past few days but he's starting to get suspicious. See you tomorrow Naruto-kun."

"Bye then." With that Naruto was gone.

Hokage's Office…

"I have a mission for you," she eyed the four genin in front of her, "We have just received information from a very reliable yet disgusting source," she pointed at the badly beaten body of Jiraiya, "that Itachi's band will be opening for a very popular band. Use this chance to your advantage and see what you will be up against. Anko will take you to the village where the concert will be held."

"Hokage-sama! You can't be serious about sending her to escort us!" Sakura said.

"Don't worry Sakura, she will only take you there. She has her own mission once you enter the village."

"Besides," came a voice from behind Sakura, "what's wrong with little ol' me?"

Sakura let out an eep, and then hid behind Sasuke. Well, more like shoving Sasuke between herself and the mad woman. "Nothing, nothing. I just thought that being with us would be beneath you."

"Damn straight!"

Sasuke, while not appreciating being used as a human shield, had more pressing matters. "Hokage-sama, I need you to either remove this bond thing or at least extend it. I can't contribute to the band otherwise."

Tsunade stared at the boy and then at her apprentice. Then out of nowhere she started laughing hysterically. "I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you that Sakura could extend the leash as far as she needs so long as it is a conscious decision on her part. There is a limit to the distance, but I doubt she'll have any need to test it."

Sasuke was furious at the Hokage's incompetence. "You bi-" he started. However, before he finished his statement, Sakura clapped a hand over his mouth and shook her head furiously. She knew full well what the Hokage was capable of and dragging a corpse around was not something Sakura considered a good time.

She glanced around the room. "Are there any other questions?"

This time Naruto spoke up. "Who are the Akatsuki openings for?"

Sakura and Sasuke stared at the blond boy. _Naruto actually asked a question that wasn't stupid? _A chill ran down both their spines.

Tsunade looked through the paperwork. "Let's see. I think they're called the Fallen Shinobi. Yeah that's right. This is supposed to be their final concert as a group. Why?"

The blond tried to remember where he had heard that name before. "Oi Shino. Isn't that the band-" the boy in shades nodded his head. Naruto then turned back to the Hokage. "In that case, Tsunade-bachan I have a favor to ask."


	6. Threads: At Least Look the Part

Another Chapter though I doubt you'll find it as funny as its predecessors. The next chapter will be more of a history lesson on Hinata's favorite band though I'll do my best to liven it up. I sincerely hope my story is as entertaining as the reviews I'm getting. I also hope God can take a joke or I'm in some deep spiritual shit. Oh yeah, since I figured out how to delete the stupid ones, I've re-enabled the anonymous reviews. Please, if you're going to be negative, at least give me something to work with. Else I'll have to sick Sasuke's libido on you.

Threads: At Least Look the Part

"WHAT!" The normally quiet Hyuga girl shouted, proceeding to jump up and down in excitement. Naruto had expected her to be surprised, but he certainly hadn't expected her to react in such a way. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!"

"Shhh!" the sadistic jounin ordered. "We still need to give your father the cover story. If he sees you this excited, he'll know something's up. Everyone wait here while I deal with the un-pleasantries." With that, Anko left the genins to mingle in Hinata's room.

Naruto looked around the room and was surprised by how neat it was. Her bed was folded, scrolls and notebooks were neatly stacked shelves, and there was not a piece of clothing to be found anywhere on the floor. _How can people live like this! _Naruto thought.

Still, what surprised Naruto was that there were no CDs anywhere. He knew for a fact that Hinata had _hundreds_ of albums of all sorts of music, from punk to metal and from classic to blues. So where did she put them. He spied a large trunk and asked Hinata if that was where she kept her collection. She nodded, still euphoric at the thought of attending her idols' farewell concert.

Naruto, forgetting to ask permission proceeded to open the chest. This snapped Hinata backed to reality and she slammed the chest closed. Unfortunately, Naruto's hands were still in the way.

"OOOOOWW!" he yelped in pain. His two teammates…well, one former and one current teammate fell over laughing. "What was that for Hinata-chan!"

"Gomen!" said the shy girl, bowing her head apologetically. "It's just that the chest is set up so that my father and cousin won't discover what I'm hiding."

Naruto scratched his head. "So its booby trapped?"

"Well, not exactly." Hinata began blushing furiously. "My CDs are surrounded by my undergarments."

The room fell silent. Shino's, Sasuke's, and Sakura's jaws dropped. Naruto had to turn away and pinch his nose so that he didn't bleed all over the place. Sakura wondered if she should smack someone if only to draw attention away from Hinata's embarrassing situation. Then it hit her.

"Hinata that's brilliant!" she shouted.

Everyone turned to the pink haired girl hoping an explanation was coming. "Are all of you Bakas or something? If Neji and Hyuga-sama suspected that Hinata were hiding something, the first thing they'd do is scan everything in her room with their Byakugan. But since they're both respectable men, unlike some people," she quickly clobbered Naruto over the head, "they wouldn't look any deeper than the surface."

Naruto still wasn't convinced. "Why not? The way you make it seem, it would be an obvious hiding place."

Sasuke interjected. "It's probably because they don't give her enough credit dobe."

Hinata cast her head down in shame, something she had become used to doing over the years. Naruto felt like it was his fault so he did his best to make up for it. "Cheer up Hinata-chan. You get to keep you music because they're stupid enough to underestimate you. You win they lose."

The girl smiled. "At least I know it works. One time, Neji-niisan had to do a random search in my room and when he looked in there, he went blind for two weeks."

This had everyone laughing their asses off including the rowdy jounin at the door seemed to enjoy the joke. "Who'd have thought that the pride of the Hyuga branch house was such an innocent?" She placed her hand on Hinata's head and grinned menacingly. "And who'd have guessed that the failure of an heiress was such a sneaky lil' devil? You've got potential kid. All right boys and girls, time to go!"

Everyone made their way to the door to leave, but Hinata stopped them. "Wait! They can't go…on the mission dressed like that. We have to blend in with the crowd and the way everyone is dressed would stand out to much."

"Hmm, that's a good point. Being the closet punk you are I'm sure you have something you can change into. Why don't you see if there's something Sakura can wear while you're at it?"

Sasuke spoke up. "Um, are we all forgetting that I'm still tied to Sakura. It's not as if we've had time to figure out this whole, 'extending the leash with her mind' thing yet."

"Well, she can always give it a try now," Anko replied. "Go ahead girl, give it a shot." Sakura nodded closed her eyes. "Here goes nothing."

She collected chakra at her center and imagined Sasuke farther and farther away from her. She wanted to extend the distance to at least seven meters but something seemed wrong. She opened her eyes to see a very annoyed Sasuke inches from her face breathing down on her. "What the hell Sakura," he said in a very not-in-the-mood kind of way.

"Cute! The farther you want to get the closer you are," Anko said with a very uncharacteristically girly smile on her face. It quickly left in favor of a sickly expression. "How disgustingly poetic. Guess you have no choice but to stay in the room why'll they change lover boy. I would have suggested you wait on the other side of the door, but I doubt that there's room enough for that now."

"Why didn't you say that to begin with then!"

"Relax kid. You can't be that mad about it. You're a young stud and they're hot sexy chicks. You should be in fucking heaven right now!"

_Listen to the lady! I like the way she thinks! _came an all too familiar voice in Sasuke's head.

_Not you again. Don't I have enough problems as it is?_

_Hardly. I told you I'd be back and boy am I glad!_

_I'm not listening, I'm not listening. La-la-la-la-la, _Sasuke repeated as he watched Anko, a jealous Naruto, and a quiet Shino leave the room. He looked down at Sakura who seemed unsure what to feel. Should she be angry at herself for putting them in this situation, which she would of course take out on Sasuke anyways, or should she use this to her advantage and get under Sasuke's skin a little. She chose the latter. After all, Sasuke had been her long-time tormentor in love when they were teammates. It was only fair that she return the favor.

She demanded he turn around, close his eyes, and threatened to kill him if he so much as turned his head in their direction. Her usual spiel when her nude body was involved. Sasuke did so without fail and she and Hinata proceeded to talk clothes. Sasuke wanted to die. Sure he had made this request several times over the past week, but he swore that this time he meant it.

_Dude, take a peak. I guarantee it'll be worth your untimely demise, _said Sasuke's libido.

Sasuke ignored the voice but he couldn't ignore what was happening behind him. He felt movement behind him, heard the sound of a zipper being unzipped and the sound of something hitting the ground…hard. Much louder than a dress falling on the floor should sound. Sasuke took a big gulp. Oh but Sakura wasn't through with him yet. Sakura then felt something soft, yet firm rub against his ass.

_Oh I've died and gone to heaven! Do you have any idea what she's doing!_

_She's probably putting on pants or stockings…_

_Hey, for someone who calls me a sexual deviant, you're pretty 'imaginative' yourself._

Then Sakura did something that sent a jolt to a very unused part of Sasuke's anatomy. Struggling with a certain article of clothing, Sakura turned around. "Hinata," she said. "Could you tie this for me?"

_Guess I'm not the only one enjoying this. Better get the little guy under control before she notices. _

_You're such a bastard, you know that?_

_Do you realize you're insulting yourself here?_

Sasuke could only pray that this personal hell/heaven would end soon and thankfully it did. Sakura told him it was safe for him to open his eyes and he was staring straight into a mirror, a fully clothed (well, sort of) Sakura by his side. She was wearing baggy pants (Libido: _geez, what a letdown_._ Buy a skirt for Christ's sake!_) the ends tucked into very 'Sakura' type boots. These boots gave off a sexy but deadly vibe Sasuke felt matched the pink-haired girl perfectly.

He took a look at her shirt and realized why she would have had trouble 'tying' it. It was nothing more than a rolled up bandana tied behind her, barely covering anything at all (Sasuke: _Why! Why would you do this to me!_). Sakura was no Tsunade, but she had definitely grown in that particular area. Sasuke couldn't believe Sakura would actually go out in public like that. Then he noticed that she was holding a vest in her hand and concluded that she was just putting on a show for his benefit. Sakura screamed tease. "So," she said to him facing the mirror and striking a pose. "What do you think?"

_Tease! Ask her to take it off, _Sasuke's inner demon requested.

"For the love of God, would you stop being a pain in the ass!" He accidentally spoke out loud staring right at Sakura. He realized what he had just done with enough time to see the vain pop in Sakura's forehead.

"Oh shit…"

Outside Hinata's Room…

All sorts of violent noises could be heard from inside the room. Anko did her best to take in every scream and smack, enjoying it way more than she should have. Naruto and Shino simply waited for it to end.

"Sorry Naruto. It seems like Sasuke managed to beat you in yet another area. He has to be the biggest idiot born in Leaf Village," Anko said from her position by the door.

Naruto merely shrugged off the veiled insult. "That's saying something considering how we have Gai and Lee. Still, is Sasuke suicidal or something? Even I know better than to say something like that."

"Maybe he likes being beaten to death by angry women," Shino offered. The three stared at each other for a while and then shared a good laugh. Then the door swung open and they went back to pretending as if nothing happened. Sakura walked furiously out of the room, dragging a limp Sasuke three meters behind. At least she was able to fix that little nuisance. She was wearing a vest over her makeshift top though it still revealed some cleavage. The back of the vest read 'I'm surrounded by Bakas.'

When Naruto looked back at the doorway, he was shocked to see…skin on the usually fully clothed Hinata. She wore a black skirt that was short…very short. Surely Hinata would never consider wearing a skirt so damn short, but here she was. Naruto had to fight to keep his hormones from getting the better of him and he concentrated on either the spiked wrist strap, the boots similar to the ones Sakura wore, or the thin choker around her neck. But his eyes began to wander and became fixated on her chest.

_When the hell did she grow those! To hell with that, where the hell has she been hiding them!_

In truth, Hinata and Sakura had pretty much the same bust size. However, because Hinata was smaller in height and thickness, it gave off the illusion that her breasts were bigger. The fact that she was wearing a t-shirt that showed off her stomach and thin arms did not help matters for Naruto. Except for the way she constantly fidgeted nervously, the girl in front of did not remind him of Hinata at all.

Anko couldn't stay silent any longer. "My, you girls look like total sluts." She wiped her eyes as if she were crying. "I'm so proud of both of you!"

"So Naruto," Sakura said, beginning to cheer up. "What do you think of Hinata's new look?"

**_If it weren't for these bars, I would so tap that…Boy, _**the voice of Kyubi said to Naruto, **_I demand you tap that groupie in my place!_**

"Shut the hell up you stupid demon!" The hall went completely silent as everyone looked at the boy who had just reclaimed his title of the dumbest person ever to be born a Leaf. As he watched Sakura lunge at him, Naruto understood what had driven Sasuke to do something so obviously stupid.

"Oh shit…"

Fifteen Minutes Later…

Well, let's just say that Naruto had never in his life experienced such pain in so short a time. Fortunately, Kyubi was the man when it came to quick recoveries. He was after all able to regenerate a friggin' hole in Naruto's chest, remember? Of course, this required a bit more energy for the Kyubi to patch up. Hell, watching a new arm spring out of a bloody stump was enough to make even Anko a little queasy.

When the disgusting regeneration was complete, Naruto explained to Sakura that he and Sasuke were having trouble with some voices in their heads, and that if anyone should understand it would be her. In this way, Naruto guilted Sakura into healing Sasuke and the six of them left the Hyuga mansion. They decided to stop by a thrift store in order to find some suitable clothes for the guys.

Naruto, unwilling to wear anything that wasn't orange, decided on a pair of long-length orange shorts and a black t-shirt that read 'Find someone who cares!' Around his neck and in the open was the necklace he had won from Tsunade Originally, it was an orange jumpsuit that he picked out, but after much pleading Hinata was able to convince Naruto against it. Apparently another band was known for such outfits and fans hated it people wore those jumpsuits without knowing the first thing about the group or their music.

Sasuke's new attire looked pretty much like his old one. He chose a collared black shirt which he left open in the front, revealing an Uchiha t-shirt. On the back of the collared shirt in very sinister grey lettering was a single word: Avenger. This had Naruto and Sakura groining (Inner Sakura: _Oh get over it already Shithead!_). In fact, the only thing really new about his look was that he removed his arm warmers, revealing the snake summoning tattoo on his left forearm, and a blue and black bandana where his forehead protector should have been. This was more to hide the growing bump where Sakura had head butted him.

When they were through shopping, they left the store and waited on a bench across the street. The only person not ready was Shino, who had been taken by Anko. She said that she had something special planned for the Aburame. This had his teammate concerned. "Don't worry Hinata," Naruto had said, "I'm sure that Anko will bring him back in one piece."

"Ladies and Gentleman," came a cry from on top of the shop. "I present to you, the one, the only, improved Aburame Shino!" She lifted a large sack that seemed to be filled with something heavy and chucked it off the building. The four genin, sitting on the bench, were stunned and appalled. The jounin did not just put their bassist in a bag and then thrown him off a building, had she? They got up and proceed to open the bag. Naruto was the first to react.

"What the hell happened to your head!" Naruto and the others quickly untied him as Sakura healed his injuries. Shino demanded that someone give him a mirror. He was wearing an open dark green sleeveless coat without an undershirt. The collar was high, but because of the split, it showed more of his face than he would have liked. Then he eyed his hair and what he saw could only be summed up in one heated statement:

"Goddamn it!"

Heaven…

"God, we have a code 3! Someone just used your name in vain!"

The Almighty looked down on the herald and sighed. "You're new here aren't you?"

"Yes, but I hardly see what that has to do with anything."

"You moron! We haven't taken that commandment seriously since…ever! Now get lost before I have Satan hire your sorry ass!" The Herald disappeared in a flash leaving God alone looking down on the boy with glasses. "That's funny right there, I don't care who you are."

Back in Konoha…

"What the hell have you done to my fro you witch!"

Anko smirked and said, "Oh come on! Dreads beat froes any day of the week. The ladies will be all over you."

The pissed Shino was not buying it. He may have liked his new dark green sleeveless coat with a high collar, but froes were what defined the males of the Aburame clan. Altering it in any way was the equivalent of cutting off your own balls and putting on a dress. Not that Aburame women were weak or people to be taken lightly (Hell, they could kick my ass).

"Don't worry Shino," Hinata said. "It doesn't look bad."

"Yeah," Sasuke added. "It looks kinda cool."

Naruto and Sakura nodded their agreement.

Only when he realized that he had the support of all his friends did he let it go. "Glad that's settled. I was actually surprised how ripped you are for a fourteen year old. If it wasn't for your age I would have jumped you while I had you all tied up." She winked teasingly at the boy and Shino could not stop the blood from rushing to his face. Anko stuck her tongue at the boy. "Too bad for you. Anyways, we have four hours until the concert starts so let's get going!"


	7. Fallen Shinobi: Behind the Music

Fallen Shinobi: Behind the Music

"Oi Hinata," Naruto spoke as his group jumped from tree to tree. "I remember listening to Fallen Shinobi when I borrowed your CD, and I thought their music was pretty cool. I figured since you're such a huge fan you should know practically everything about them."

_You bet your ass I do! _is what she wanted to say, but instead she just blushed and stammered a simple "I know a little."

There was a long silence after that and Sakura could only rub her temples in frustration. "What Naruto meant to say was 'please Hinata, tell us about them.' Actually, I wouldn't mind hearing a little bit about them myself. Aren't they from Konoha?"

They continued towards the village where the concert was to be held, but Hinata clearly had everyone's attention. She became tense, afraid that she might embarrass herself or come off as a 'little' fanatic. Wait, what the hell was she thinking! She prided herself on knowing what she did about her idols! Finding the confidence to speak, she began.

"Well, we all know that before the kyubi attacked, our village was at war with pretty much everybody. It was a depressing time for the villagers so they tried finding things to liven their spirits. Some tried sewing, others chose yoga, and some even tried stand up comedy, though that ended up being more depressing than the wars. One person, however, chose music and that person is the Fourth Hokage, but I can't for the life of me find his name anywhere in the history books."

The teenagers glanced at Anko in the hopes that she could shed some light on this mystery, but she shot back at them with a what-the-hell-are-you-looking-at-me-for look. "I doubt even Kakashi knows what the hell that guy's name is. Just do what the rest of us do and call him Yondy."

Hinata continued. "Fine. Well, at the age of about eight, Yondy," she shuddered at how she had just used such a stupid name to represent one of the greatest men in the shinobi, and music, world, "was browsing through a music store looking for something to do when he saw a jounin trying to get a refund for a guitar. The man told the clerk that the instrument was broken, but the clerk refused to believe that he had sold a faulty product. So while they were arguing, Yondy picked up the guitar, plugged it into an amp, and played as if he had been playing for years. The jounin was so embarrassed that he ran out of the store crying, leaving the guitar behind."

"But what does the Fourth Hokage have to do with the Fallen Shinobi," if I have to tell you who was stupid enough to ask this question, you deserve to be kicked in where it hurts.

Sakura and Sasuke snapped, but being that their teammate was such a moron at times, they had every right. Sakura grabbed Sasuke's arm and swung him around, finally releasing him in Naruto's direction. The Uchiha landed a clean kick to the back of the blond boy's head, driving him straight into the tree in front of him.

"If you're too stupid to figure it out, then shut the hell up and wait for her to get to that part!" his teammates shouted in unison. Anko secretly gave both of them the thumbs up, showing her approval.

Hinata watched in Horror as she watched her crush get crushed into the foliage, but when she saw that he was alright she went on with the story. "So about ten years pass and Yondy is getting really good. In fact, some say that by this time he could be considered a god of guitarists and his skill only seemed to get better with each passing day. He also started finding equally talented prodigies emerging from the village.

"The first was the band's drummer, Sye. Yondy met him when he was only twelve and they were sent on a mission together. The mission went sour and they were forced to fight off enemy shinobi. Sye specialized in fist fighting, but Yondy noticed that he beat his opponents almost rhythmically. They escaped with their lives and when the group was safe and sound in the village, Yondy asked if he wanted to start a band with him. He did, he joined, and he played. That's how the Burning Leaves started."

"Burning Leaves?"

"BAKA!" Naruto found himself in pain once again.

"Their bassist was also a member of the Aburame clan, but because he was allergic to insects, he was kicked out of the clan. Still, he was a genius when it came to playing those four strings and he was quickly picked up by Yondy and Sye. His name is—"

Shino cut her off shouting, "That name is forbidden! Don't say it! Please, shame will befall me if I so much as hear his name!" He covered his ears, but Anko knocked some sense into him…literally.

"Stop your damn whining bug boy! I find the irony of this one quite entertaining," she said with a grin. "Go ahead Hinata. Finish what you were saying."

"Well," Hinata began, unsure where the jounin was going with this, "his name was Raid." _(AN: _Raid® - _Kills bugs dead)_

Shino fell to his knees on a branch and wept.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Moving on," Hinata said, a little irritated at the pathetic scene her teammate was making. Something just doesn't feel right about this one. "The next band member was a boy named Maiku, who wanted to learn to play guitar. However, he didn't want just any teacher. He wanted to be taught by the best so he went to Yondy. At first, he was skeptical about taking in an apprentice, but after seeing the boy's raw talent and learning that the boy was a quick study, Yondy took Maiku under his wing.

"Last but not least is the voice and soul of the band, Serius. An interesting thing about him is that he came to Konoha as a refugee from a village that had been annihilated. Watching his family killed right before his eyes was so traumatizing that he became mute. However, one day while sitting at a ramen stand," she glanced at Naruto hoping for his sake that he didn't say anything, "he heard someone playing the guitar outside and started humming. Keep in mind that in all the years he lived in Konoha, Serius never made a sound. Still, Yondy heard the feeling behind the soft hum and asked him to join the band.

"Unfortunately, Serius declined but silently agreed to watch one of their practices. During practice Yondy and the band played a song that Yondy had been working on for years, but since the band lacked a vocalist, he was forced to take the role. Yondy may have been a brilliant guitarist, but his band mates have declared that they would rather listen to kunai scrapping chalkboards. Serius fell in love with the melody of the song and found the lyrics moving, but he felt the vocals were a bastardization of the song. So he joined the band and eventually Yondy brought out the full potential of Serius' voice."

Sasuke, who had never cared for music he didn't already like, was intrigued that the vocalist had a similar haunted past. Leave it to the Narcissist to enjoy something that can be related to himself. Sakura noticed and scoffed. "Just f-ing marry yourself already!"

Anger was starting to rise in Hinata at the constant interruptions. The feeling was unfamiliar to her, but she found herself liking it. "So the band played and their popularity grew. Some villagers had labeled Yondy a pedophile. Why else would he choose such young kids to join his band? When someone came to Yondy with this accusation, he would laugh it off and simply reply that there wasn't an adult in the village who could play as well as these kids. And the truth was that Yondy loved the ladies and the ladies loved Yondy. Unfortunately, this ultimately lead to the band's breakup.

"Five years after the Burning Leaves was formed, the band was at its peak. When these guys weren't on missions, they were playing a show. Even after Yondy's promotion to Fourth Hokage, the band stayed strong. However, during a performance Yondy caught sight of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He had to have her and have her he did. A week later, Yondy broke the news to his comrades that he had to leave the band. Saying the four band members were pissed would be an understatement, but nothing they said could change the Fourth's mind.

"The popular theory is that the groupie was a manipulating groupie who convinced Yondy to go solo and make it big outside the village. However, others believe that she was actually just an innocent woman who accidentally got knocked up during a one night stand and wanted Yondy to be a man and deal with the consequences. Her fairy tale doesn't end on a happy note though, because nine months later, the kyubi attacked. We all know what happened to the Fourth, but no one knows what happened to the woman."

Naruto hesitated before speaking. "Hinata, when I borrowed their album, I heard two guitarists. The Fourth can't be playing from beyond the grave, so who did they pick to replace him?" His teammates were about to pound him into the ground when they realized that he brought up a good point.

"No one really knows," Hinata said. "He wears a hooded cloak on stage and few people have ever seen him anywhere else. The only thing anyone knows about him is that he has some relationship to the Fourth."

"Wow," Naruto stated. "When we get back to Konoha I want to listen to what the Fourth's guitar style sounds like. I bet it kicks ass!"

This time it was Anko who spoke. "Good luck with that. When the fourth died, every single recording with him in it was mysteriously lost or damaged." She waved her hands and fingers in a spooky manner. "Even people who heard him play live can't seem to remember exactly what he sounded like. It's as if some invisible force wants to erase his legacy off the face of the planet."

"Well that sucks," Naruto muttered. "I guess that only leaves me with one question." Sakura had a bad feeling about what might come out of the boy's mouth, but she resisted the urge to hurt him until he earned it.

"What's a groupie?"

And there you have it. What surprised Shino and Sasuke, who was being forced around violently by his ex-teammate, was that all the women of their party had reacted to Naruto's **_stupid_**, and I cannot emphasize that word enough, question. Sakura landed a clean left hook to the jaw that would have vaporized half of a normal human face. Anko, from behind the boy, made contact with a swift kick to the family jewels. Even Hinata got in on the action, her feminine dignity taking control. She struck with a clean jyuken palm strike to the stomach. This shocked the hell out of everyone, but not as much as it did Naruto.

"Et tu, Hinata?" he stammered before the world went black.

Thirty Minutes Later…

Naruto opened his eyes slowly, finding himself sprawled out on the ground in a very busy area. While he was blacked out, one of them must have carried him the rest of the way to the concert village. Naruto assumed that Sakura made Sasuke do it, but he was still in too much pain to start anything. He noticed that the place he was at smelled like alcohol, sweat, and sex, though he wasn't quite sure how he knew what sex smelled like. In fact, it kind of bothered him that he did.

He focused on other things around him. He saw a lot of people dressed similarly to the way they were. If Hinata hadn't made them change, they would have stood out like Jiraiya in a Woman's bathhouse. Naruto watched them all from his spot on the ground. A lot of the guys were huddled together just pushing the crap out of each other. He was definitely going to give that a try when he regained the strength to stand.

The girls on the other hand were just standing around. Naruto was confused by them. The way they were dressed suggested, at least to him, that they wanted people to look at them, however, when they caught someone staring they'd lash out as if they were offended. _They're making my head hurt, but at least Sakura won't have a problem fitting in._

**Hey, stupid brat! **The Kyubi called to Naruto.

_Leave me alone you stupid fox. I don't have the energy right now to deal with you._

**I can see that you moron. What the hell is wrong with you! No one asks women like those three what a groupie is! Anyone with half a brain should know that!**

_Well, excuse me. You could have helped me avoid all this if you had just told me the first time I asked instead of just laughing your ass off for hours on end!_

**How the hell was I suppose to know you were serious? **The Kyubi snickered a little bit at the memory. **Anyways, since you still don't have a clue I'll fill you in. Those hot girls you were looking at, the teases with the skimpy outfits are what you would call groupies. They're here to get the attention of the musicians if you know what I mean. Eh? Eh?**

_No I don't get what you mean and I'm trying really hard not to. Still, why the hell would Hinata and the others gang up on me for asking a question?_

**Because everyone loves a groupie, **The Kyubi said with a sly smile.** But in your case, I would say it has to do with three things. Number 1: You're an idiot. Number 2: You asked a question that's offensive to modest women. Number 3: Out of all the people you could have possibly asked, you ask the most innocent person you could possibly meet. What the hell is wrong with you!**

Their conversation was cut short when Sasuke demanded that Naruto get off the ground, adding that he was tired of carrying his sorry ass. Naruto complied with his request, glad that he had the ability. He turned to the girls to apologize, but before he could say a word, he was cut off.

"I'm so sorry Naruto- kun," Hinata said. "I don't know what came over me."

Anko was next. "Yeah we thought you were trying to be fresh with us, but really, you were just being your stupid old self."

"But if you ever mention that word around us again," spoke Sakura, seething with undying rage, "we'll make you beg for death!"

This had every male close enough to hear shaking with fear. Sasuke found himself unconsciously scooting as far away from Sakura as the bond would allow. Shino wanted to crawl into a corner and cry, which was very unlike him. Some of the weaker males soiled themselves! Inner Sakura saw all of this and relished the victory she won for her gender. _Feminism for life!_

"Eh, heh, heh, heh," Naruto laughed nervously. "I'll try to remember that. Well, let's go find the stage before we scare anyone into an early grave. Tsunade-bachan, said that once we got into the village, we'd have to look for the concert grounds passed a large wall. Luckily for us, Fallen Shinobi chose this place because they don't charge an entry fee so we should be all set."

"Yup, you sure are!" Anko stated enthusiastically. "I should get started on my own mission, but I should be back by the time the concert ends. Tsunade-sama said that we should stay overnight and she gave us plenty of dough to cover us, but I'll hold on to that. Bye then!" The smile on her face before she left made every one of them nervous.

"Please tell me she doesn't plan on blowing it all on sake and dango." Sakura said aloud. Well, I guess it doesn't hurt to hope.

The five of them made their way to the concert arena, which was actually nothing more than a large empty lot that had been separated from the rest of the village by a large flimsy wall. Shino, Sasuke, and Naruto noticed that the girls were getting a lot of creepy looks from several of the guys around them. They swallowed hard hoping none of them were stupid or drunk enough to do something stupid. Unfortunately, one of them was.

"Hey babes," a brazen young man said. "What say you ditch the dweebs and see what it's like to be with a real man?" As if he had not gone far enough, the idiot reached out towards Hinata's chest for a feel, but just as he was about to claim his prize, a very angry hand grabbed his arm and forced him facedown into the dirt. People tried to catch a peek but dust was covering all the action. Only Hinata, who had activated her byakugan, could see anything.

No one was more confused than Sakura. She had been milliseconds away from doing the same thing to the poor bastard, but her teammates and Shino had beaten her to it. She figured they were just trying to get on her good side, and truth be told they had earned quite a few brownie points. She was just glad that she was close enough for Sasuke to get into the action.

"Are you high!" Sasuke shouted from the cloud of dust. "She finally calmed down and you want to piss her off again? I should do you the favor and just end you before she has a chance to get her hands on you!"

Naruto was heard next. "Screw that! What the hell is wrong with you! You aren't good enough to lick the bottom of her shoes, let alone cop a feel of those babies!" The last comment had Hinata feeling mixed emotions. A part of her was speechless that Naruto thought so highly of her…um…features, but at the same time, the way he phrased it made her want to strangle him. However, seeing him kick her would-be-assaulter where it hurt made up entirely for it.

"Who the hell are you calling a dweeb! Is it the goddamn dreads! I didn't f-ing ask for them!" Hinata watched as her teammate stomped violently on the man's chest. "Stop laughing at me!"

The boys finally stopped, but they weren't quite finished yet. Shino and Sasuke each grabbed an arm, holding up the bloody carcass of a man, and Naruto prepared a rasengan. "It's been hell knowing you, but let's do this again some time," he said with a grin. He threw his attack into the man's chest and thrusted upwards, sending him flying until he was nothing more than a speck in the darkened sky. Woman everywhere applauded.

"Can we please just get to the damn show!" Sasuke pleaded desperately. So they made their way to the entrance and were surprised to find that there was no line to get in. In fact, everyone was just huddled together a great distance away looking pissed as hell. They soon found out why when they met the bouncer at the entrance.

"Welcome to Concert Village's open air theatre. That'll be two hundred bucks."

"WHAT!"

"Each."

* * *

Ministory: Author's Dilemna

God: What the hell? The story is this freakin' long and I don't get to make an appearance! Nobody puts Yahweh in the corner! Michael! Get your angel ass in here!

Michael: Yes lord?

God: Have that Xenex guy sent to the deepest realms of hell and have Satan come up with the worst possible punishment he can think of for him.

Satan: Way ahead of you! You're not the only one pissed about not getting a spot in this chapter. Believe me, this is this sickest form of punishment I've ever come up with.

Xenex: Make it stop! For the love of everything Holy, make it stop!

God: What did you give him?

Satan: Heh, heh. I'm having him re-watch all the stuff he's ever regretted watching. Right now he's on the clips of the dubbed Naruto episodes.

Dubbed Naruto: Believe it…Believe it…Believe it…

Xenex: Satan, you sick bastard!

God: My self, that's brilliant!

Satan: Oh, we're just getting started. We still have the last episode of Pilot Candidate for Goddess, the Paris Hilton Sex Tape (you know, the one where she just lays there), and all seventy-something episodes of Hikaru no Go.

Xenex: NOOOOOOOOO! That anime has no point! Stop with the madness, I'll do anything! I promise I'll give you better roles in the next chapter!

God: Like hell you will! No one's going to keep reading after this crap chapter!

Satan: Tell you what kid. If you get enough reviews, we'll let you go. But so help me, if no one comments, we're watching that sky-diving video of yours!

Xenex: Please readers! If you have any compassion at all, make a review! (Side-note: apologies to anyone who actually likes HnG or the last episode of Pilot Candidate for Goddess).


	8. The Concert Part I: Getting In

I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! My computer died in the middle of this chapter and I had to replace the power supply and hard-drive. It took me two weeks to get everything fixed and then I had to start from scratch (it wasn't too bad since the chapter I lost sucked monkey balls). I would like to add another apology to the guy (or girl…I don't really remember) who thought it unethical to use God and Satan in this fan-fic. You may be right. However, I'm not the first to do it, I won't be the last, and since the conflict between these two figures is so influential on some artists and genres of rock, I felt it fit nicely.

I am having a really hard time getting used to this computer. Sure it's the same one, but I can feel these subtle differences that are throwing me off. So, by the supreme wisdom of Homer Simpson when he got a new couch and lost his groove, I shall set force to break this computer in. Unfortunately, since it will take me a little longer, I'm going to post the concert chapter into three parts. This is the first and hopefully the next two will follow shortly.

And of course, please review!

The Concert Part I: Getting In

Bouncers are assholes. At least this is what Naruto and the others were quickly discovering. It seems that after the Fallen Shinobi had been booked to play in the arena, a new, less charitable owner had taken over and after learning about the popularity of Fallen Shinobi and other bands that would be playing he quickly put the outrageous fee in place. Even so, the four Leaf Shinobi and one missing-nin tried their best to convince the two bouncers to let them in. However, despite endless begging and pleading, nothing could be done to convince them to let them into the arena.

Sakura, having lost her patience, tried a more desperate approach. Leaving the group behind except for Sasuke who had no choice in being dragged along, she ran to one of the store stands and bought water…lots of water. When she returned, she doused herself and Hinata, much to the shy girl's surprise. Sakura began pleading once more in a very seductive matter to let them in so that they could dry off. Hinata was too busy hiding her chest wondering just how Sakura had managed to unclip and remove her bra without her noticing.

In Hell…

"Innocent little children my ass Jesus!" shouted Satan to the Son of God in Heaven.

Jesus, however, was very irritated by the horned devil's comment. "What the hell do you expect! You're the one who gave the world Brittany Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Paris Hilton!"

There was a long pause before the Morning Star responded.

"Touché you sinless mofo. Touché."

Back at the Arena Entrance…

Unfortunately, the guards were unaffected, throwing them a towel and telling them to dry off somewhere else if they couldn't pay. Bouncers, after all, are assholes and these guys took their job a little too seriously. Sakura could not stop cussing under her breath shouting, "Where the hell are the guys with loli-complexes when you need them!" The pink haired girl did however succeed in making her male companions very uncomfortable.

"Get up Naruto," Sasuke told the blond boy who had quickly sat on the ground and refused to get up. It seemed bossing Naruto around was the only way he could avoid dealing with the voice in his head, and did he ever have something to say.

"Hell no! Even if it means holding up the damn line and keeping anyone from seeing the damn show, I'm not getting up until they let us in!" Truth be told, Naruto had other reasons for not wanting to stand. **_Oh, looks like somebody wants to play, _**The kyubi said mockingly at Naruto's predicament. Could you really blame Naruto, though? A boy his age catching that split second between the moment Sakura dumped water all over Hinata and the moment Hinata finally reacted to cover herself. How could he not have problems standing when such an image kept replaying itself over and over and over and over…well, you get the point.

"What line?" Sakura shot back. "Everyone's been turned away because they're all unwilling to pay two hundred bucks when it was originally supposed to be free. Just get up so we can come with a plan to sneak in."

Naruto still refused so Shino and Sasuke each grabbed an arm and carried Naruto away, throwing him on the ground when they were far enough from the arena entrance. Shino and Naruto waited on a bench while the girls went into the trees to wring their clothes out. Sasuke was forced to tag along, which left Shino and Naruto feel a bit envious. After all, this was the second time he'd be around the girls while they changed.

When the three of them returned, Sasuke being red in the face, they began to brainstorm ideas on how they could get in. First they emptied their pockets to see what they had to work with. Among themselves they could barely scrape up seventy-two dollars and thirty cents and seeing as how there were no weapon stores around, they couldn't really pawn their kunai or shuriken for a little extra.

"Maybe we can pimp Sasuke out," offered Naruto. Everyone turned to Naruto unsure if what he had just said was complete idiocy or brilliance. Sasuke immediately argued that there was no way in hell he was going to be Naruto's bitch and then muttered something about not liking the idea of Sakura watching either. Sakura overheard this and landed a hard hook to his jaw, shattering it. Regretting going so far, she quickly healed him and hit bastard again, this time not breaking anything.

Hinata then spoke up, more forcefully than anyone expected. "Even if we can manage to get a thousand dollars, we shouldn't give them a dime! The Fallen Shinobi set this up so that their fans could get to see them for one last time without having to pay ridiculous fees like this. Let's just kick their asses and get in!"

This outburst had everyone dropping their jaws and Hinata, realizing what she had just done, reverted to her old shy self. Still, her plan did seem like something worth trying until Sasuke pulled out his copy of the bingo book, flipped through a few pages, and shook his head.

"There is no way that we would be able to take all of the bouncers by ourselves."

"Huh? We're freaking ninja and they're regular guys. What do you mean we can't take them!" retorted Naruto.

Sasuke let out a deep sigh. "Naruto, I know you have a copy of this," he said as he tapped the Bingo book in his hand. "You really should open it up and read it. There are a total of twenty bouncers divided among the ten main entrances. Each one of them is at least an A-rank criminal or shinobi hired from a nearby village. Here, look. The two that just stopped us are right here."

The Uchiha handed them the book to prove his point. Sure enough, the two looked very much like S-ranked Shinobi from the Hidden Village of Stone. Sakura pointed out a few minor differences but other than that they were dead ringers. The group returned to sulking, but as they did so, they began overhearing the conversations around them.

"I can't believe those bastards are demanding two hundred bucks a pop!"

"Yeah, that new guy running things is a real dick!"

"Damn, if I wasn't so broke I'd just cough up the two hundred bucks and get the hell in. This is going to be the last time anyone will see them in concert and I don't want to miss it!"

"No screw that dude! It's the principle of the goddamn thing!"

"Man if only Hyuga Hinata were here. She'd know what to do."

"You mean the girl that writes all those kick ass rock reviews and Dear Hina stuff for that music magazine? What's it called again? Ninja something?"

"I think it's called Hardcore Ninja."

"Oh hell yeah! That girl is fucking kick-ass! I bet she'd totally know what to do!"

Hinata went pale when she heard all this. The others were shocked beyond belief and began bombarding her with questions. When they finally calmed down, Hinata did her best to explain everything.

"It started a couple of years ago. I was looking for a way to support my music collection since my father never gives me money to spend on my own. Anyways, Hardcore Ninja magazine was holding a writing contest with a cash prize of two hundred dollars. All I had to do was write an essay on who or what I thought was most influential in the development of Rock. I didn't win because they said my article didn't follow the format they wanted but they said it was so good they wanted to give me a job."

"So what do you do for them?" Sakura asked.

"Well, I review albums mostly. Whenever something new comes out they send me a copy and I write what I think about it. Then people started sending me letters asking for my opinion when it comes to music. Stuff like whether or not it's okay to date within the band, what type of sound is good for certain types of lyrics, what I think about an upcoming band or musician, and other stuff like that. Since I was getting so many letters, my editor gave me a column to myself to answer their questions."

Sasuke was scratching his head. "Still, they way they talk about you seems kind of weird. I mean, anyone that's met you would see you as just some weak and quiet girl yet they talk about you as if you could take on anything."

"Eh, heh, heh, heh," she laughed shyly. "I guess I get a little carried away when I'm talking about rock and roll."

"Hinata," Naruto said as he grabbed her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. "For the sake of your fans and for the sake of us getting into that show, would you be willing to take up your role as a hardcore columnist in the flesh!"

Hinata had a bad feeling. "W-Why Naruto-kun?"

"Because I have a plan on how to get us inside," he said with a sly, fox-like grin.

Ten Minutes Later…

"Explain to me again why the hell I'm the one she has to stand on?" Sasuke said in a defeated tone as he was forced on all fours.

"One," started Shino, "Hinata is tallest when she stands on you."

"Two" followed Naruto, "All you did before was kill everyone else's ideas, so now you can be part of the solution."

"Three," said Sakura, "You don't have a freakin' choice!" It was true after all. While Sasuke had been resisting the others into getting him to drop to all fours, Sakura, being very frustrated, had shouted, "Down Sasuke!" This had the odd effect of getting Sasuke to lower himself onto the ground like a dog. Because of this incident, Sakura had discovered the secret behind the leash and she was going to have a good time later testing it out.

Out of nowhere a dog appeared and began sniffing at Sasuke's rear. "Do I know you!" the agitated teen shouted at the dog. The canine decided to find a different place to relieve himself.

Naruto had explained what he was going to have Hinata do, and although everyone agreed that it seemed to be a solid plan, it left Hinata petrified. "Naruto, are you sure this will work? What if they don't believe it's really me? Or worse! What happens if they do believe it's me and I lose my reader!" As she shouted this she seemed more vulnerable then usual, but Naruto was quick in reassuring her.

"Don't worry Hinata. The person you are when you write is still you. Just try not to think of the crowd and don't think when you talk. You know, like me." He wore a big grin on his face, but the others were scared shitless when he said 'like him.' Naruto then handed her a guitar he 'borrowed' from one of the stands for effect.

Hinata held the guitar by the neck and stepped onto Sasuke's back. She broke into a nervous sweat when she saw the huge crowd and that some people had already started to stare at her.

"Ano-" she started. The crowd was overwhelmingly loud.

"Excuse me," she added quietly. No one seemed to be paying any attention to her even though she had left herself feeling so exposed. A part of her snapped.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PAY ATTENTION YOU JACK ASSES!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Thousands of people stopped what they were doing and looked in the direction of the voice they had just heard.

"I've been watching you all for a while now, and although I hate what the new bastard in charge is doing, I have to say that I'm more disgusted with you!" She gave an accusing stare at everyone before continuing. "The show of a lifetime is moments away! This is going to be the last time anyone will ever hear the Fallen Shinobi play live and where the hell are you? A hundred yards away whining like the dogs you all are!"

The crowd was speechless at the insult. One person finally broke the silence. "Who the fuck are you calling a dog, bitch! I don't see you in the damn stadium!"

According to Naruto's plan, this was the time for Hinata to reveal who her identity. However, she had a moment of weakness in her speech and the old Hinata came through. "My name?" she said as if she couldn't remember. "My n-name is Hyuga Hinata."

The same crowd asshole was quick to reply this time. "Like hell you are! There's no way a weak little girl like you could be Hyuga Hinata!"

At that moment the gloves came off for Hinata. She had her fill of this bastard and she was going to give him a piece of her mind. "Keep it up smart ass and this weak little girl's foot is going to be giving you an early prostate exam!" she said, nearly leaping from Sasuke's back to do just that. Naruto seemed more than pleased with her reaction, writing down her outburst in his list of favorite come-back responses.

There were a few gasps in the crowd and then one person shouted, "Holy crap, she's the real thing!"

"Yes, I've heard the rumors. Hinata's suppose to be this hardcore rock and roll chick that eats posers for breakfast, and if she were here she'd those bouncers. Well, I **AM **Hyuga Hinata! And I see a whole army of fellow rockers here pissed off because of tyranny…and capitalism. We've come all this way to see this show and I'll be damned if we're going to wait another second to get in!"

The crowd was silent not knowing where she was going with this.

"Will you fight for it?" she asked of them.

They began chattering amongst themselves with scared looks on their faces. Hinata overheard one of them saying that the bouncers would kill them.

"Stop being a pussy! It's natural for you all to be scared, but if we don't make a stand now, this is just going to keep happening until rock and roll finally dies. Are you about to let that happen!"

The crowd, sucked into her speech, shouted in unison. "_HELL NO!_"

"So let this be the day that we declare as one voice, 'We will not go quietly into the Night! We will not vanish with out a Fight!' There may come a day when we decide to turn tail and run like hell, but it's not this day! This day we fight! Can I get an amen!"

"Amen sister!" a few members from the crowd shouted back gospel style.

"I said, can I get an Amen!"

"Amen!"

"Remember my fellow rockers. We are putting our lives on the line. Take a look at the people next to you. When this is all over, one or all of them may die. YOU may die. Even so, keep what I'm about to say in your hearts. They may take our lives, but they will never take—"

She thrust the arm holding the guitar into the air for dramatic emphasis.

"_—OUR FREEDOM!**"**_

The crowd roared as one. Many began smashing up stands to use pipes and boards with nails as weapons. It was a riot. Hinata shouted again, thrusting the guitar into the air once more.

"_FREEDOM!_"

Another loud roar came from the crowd and this time Hinata hurled the guitar a hundred yards to a guarded entrance of the arena. The bouncers seem confused by the guitar that stuck into the ground instead of shattering to pieces. "Now go and show those assholes what real rockers think of a bullshit two hundred dollar ticket fee!"

As the mob rushed forward towards their intended battlefield, Sasuke could only stare at Naruto who had a proud look on his face. The Uchiha ran his fingers through his hair and let out a deep sigh.

"Naruto, you watch way too much television."

A Hundred Yards Away at an Arena Entrance…

"Hey Joey," said Tom to his partner, "Do you hear thunder?"

"Sounds like it, but I don't see any storm clouds. Then again, there was a lot of shouting going on in the village." Joey looked out towards the vending section of the village and his eyes nearly flew out of his sockets. "Holy hell! What the hell is that!"

"Oh man! There are thousands of them! This is a hell of a lot worse than that stage rush two years ago and they look pissed. There's no way we can hold them all off. What do you think we should do?"

"Hell, they're not paying me enough for this shit! I'd rather take on Itachi with my arms tied behind my back. Let's get the hell out of here!"

And so the battle between bouncer and rocker ended without any bloodshed. It seemed that that the owner of the arena had been to cheap to hire real shinobi and instead settled on look-alikes who could work for a lot less. This of course pissed our heroes off since they went through all that trouble to get the crowd behind them when they could have just taken care of it themselves. Sakura began beating Sasuke with his Bingo book and Naruto nodded his head in approval. That was right before Hinata laid him out with a lead pipe to the back of the head for making her speak to the crowd for nothing. Of course, right after she hit him, she was back to her old self and apologizing like crazy over Naruto's unconscious body.

Sakura was about to make Shino carry the Sasuke, whom she had also knocked out cold, and Naruto into the Arena when the crowd approached them. Without a word, they lifted the five of them into the air and carried them all into the stadium. It was the first time any of them had ever crowd surfed and Shino, Hinata, and Sakura were having a blast. Too bad Naruto and Sasuke were in too much pain to enjoy it.

* * *

Edit: 

Dragon Man 180: I added the few extra words I needed to finish the last sentence. Thanks for letting me know. I mentioned somewhere in this chpater that the Fallen Shinobi wanted this to be a free show, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to re-emphasize that in the next chapter. And of course, the pissed off 'owner' will be making an appearance in the next chapter.


	9. The Concert Part II: First Show

Alright people. I should have been studying for my exams or catching up on my reading assignments, but instead I found myself typing out this really long chapter filled with grammatical errors and plot holes. I hope you're happy. Two reviews aren't bad. I'm sorry one guy (or girl…I really have no way of knowing) got fed up with my pairings and the plot, but such is life. At least he was kind enough to leave a compliment.

As far as the pairings go, I haven't really been too good with that. Everyone just seems to hit everyone else, but I guess you could call that love. And as for the plot…I agree, it needs work and to some degree it isn't appealing. Still, I'm using this fic to work on serious deficiencies in my writing.

Enjoy, review, and go to sleep. I know I will.

Oh yeah, since we aren't really allowed to copy and paste the lyrics of other bands (or so I'm told) I made up a song. If you think it sucks, please don't waste your energy typing a bad review. I know it sucks. Now if you have tips, feel free to share. I get the feeling I'm going to be trying a lot more of it despite how bad I may be.

The Concert Part II: First Show of the Night

It did not take long for the arena to reach maximum occupancy. News of the bouncers' defeat spread like wildfire and rockers and groupies from many nearby villages seemed to instantly materialize within the walls. It was getting late but the sun seemed to refuse to set, as if it were taunting the attendees. After all, the concert was scheduled to start the moment the sun set. However, music was being played over speakers around the arena while the technicians set up the main equipment.

Naruto and friends moved freely amongst the crowd, trying to get a feel for things. Naruto was doing his best to find the group of people he had seen before who seemed to be sparring with each other in the gift stands. Sasuke wanted to join him but was afraid his Sakura would become to involved and hospitalize half the arena before the shows began. Instead, he allowed her to drag him off near the stage hoping to catch a glimpse of his brother. Hinata, losing track of everyone, was swept away in the crowd leaving poor Shino all alone. Not that the reclusive kid cared. He seemed mopre than glad to be rid of such unusual company.

Naruto…

"Damn it," the blond teen cursed under his breath. "Where the hell is it?"

He jumped up about ten feet into the air to get a better view, thankful for his l337 ninja skills but pissed that his height was such a hindrance. Unfortunately, he couldn't find what he was looking for and was about to give up his search, when a guy around his age approached him.

"What're you looking for? You lost or something?" he asked in a condescending tone. Naruto wanted to hurt him but decided against it. Instead he asked if he knew anything about the guys that fought with each other.

"You mean moshers?" The boy had a puzzled look on his face but it quickly changed to annoyance. "Geez, don't you know anything? They're playing a ballad right now. Only retards mosh to ballads." This was a second strike in Naruto's mind and he wasn't thinking in bowling terms either. Who the hell was this kid to tell him what he could or could not fight to? Still, he kept his anger in check and asked the guy to explain it to him.

The asshole kept up his high and mighty attitude as he spoke. "For starters," he raised a finger for emphasis, "most moshing is started during a high energy rock, punk, or metal performance. It's starting to show up in other stuff but it was made for rockers."

"You said before that moshing wasn't meant for ballads. What's a ballad?" Naruto asked looking very confused.

"Wow, you really are an idiot. A ballad, or power ballad if you want to get specific, is a type of song within rock that covers lighter themes like longing and love. A lot of times, the hard sound that characterizes what a lot of us love about rock is taken out. Ballads aren't great for moshing because they don't provide the right kind of buzz." It was at this point that Naruto felt the guy was talking out of his ass but he had him continue anyways.

"The second thing you should know about moshing is that it usually occurs in pits or circles closer to the stage, not all the way back here. Third, moshing is like a dance, not sparring. The point is to get physically get into the music. Your not suppose to hurt the people around you, but it tends to happen anyways. There, that should be enough for a newbie like you. I hope I was able to enlighten that empty skull of yours."

Strike three. Naruto grinned rather evilly and the black tattoos on his arms started to glisten in the light of the setting sun. "Oh, you told me more than enough. Thanks a lot pal. But I still have a few questions. Since the show hasn't started, the only real music is coming from speakers on the walls of the arena. Speakers like that one." Naruto pointed at a very large speaker mounted on a wall maybe fifty feet away. "So in theory, the walls become the front stage, correct?"

The kid thought to himself and then nodded. "Sure, in some freaky way I guess you have a point."

"And I checked before. There aren't really any 'pits' around. So would any area do?"

The smart ass was starting to get annoyed with the questions. "Yeah, any space that gets involved in the mosh becomes the pit."

"One more question," at this exact moment the music changed from the ballad that was playing before to a very dark and angry sounding metal song. The lyrics spoke of death and the music seemed to call it forth. "If I were to want to start a mosh pit, what would I need to do?"

"Simple," he said, completely oblivious to how screwed he was. "You push someone and they push back. Hopefully, more people will join in. Now if you'll excuse me." The boy turned to leave, but Naruto wasn't done with him.

**_Hey kid! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? _**The kyubi asked menacingly, licking his lips as if an all you can eat buffet were being presented to him. Naruto merely cracked his knuckles. He was going to milk this moment for everything it was worth.

Hinata…

"Hey, did you hear?" Hinata overheard a girl ask someone else. "Some blond kid just decked another guy and started a huge brawl near the south wall! Let's go check it out!"

Hinata couldn't help but smile at the mention of her blond crush. _At least he's enjoying himself, _she thought. Hinata was petrified being around so many people. The smells were also starting to overwhelm her, making her wish Kiba had not gone out of his way to train her in heightening her senses. She knew almost immediately that the guy next to her needed to try wiping his ass. She also noticed that a girl a few yards away was doing her best to hide her B.O. problem with excessive cleavage. It seemed to work brilliantly since guys were flocking from all over to catch a glimpse.

Being as shy as she was, Hinata felt as if she would explode if someone approached her, which was why she had ventured to the west wall near the water stands and had seemingly attached herself to the wall. Unfortunately for the poor Hyuga, even her byakugan didn't see what was coming.

A very cheerful woman approached her with a warm smile. "How's it going Hina-chan?" The informality in her greeting implied that she new Hinata, but Hinata knew for a fact that she had never met this woman before in her life.

"Oh, I'm hurt," the woman, who looked to be in her mid twenties, said with a pout on her face. "How could you not recognize your own editor? I thought we were so close too, seeing as how we've become such great pen pals."

Hinata blinked, trying to process what had just been revealed to her. "Suzu-san?"

"See, I knew you couldn't forget me," she said as her cheerful attitude returned.

"But how was I suppose to recognize you? We've never met face to face."

Suzu, being fairly taller than Hinata, lowered herself to stare at her accusingly. "Hina-chan, my picture is printed with every article I write."

Hinata held her editor's stare this time and responded with as much daring as she could muster. "That may be true, but you always find a way to hide your face."

There was silence between the two women as they simply stared at each other, trying to see who would be the first to back down. Their contest ended abruptly when Suzu let out a hearty laugh and pulled Hinata into a friendly hug. "I can't believe you're here! Especially after all that moaning about your father being so strict and everything!"

Hinata felt as if she were being suffocated. Thankfully Suzu finally released her and it was it this time that Hinata took the opportunity to examine her friend-through-mail. Suzu seemed very childlike, both in attitude and appearance. She wore clothes similar to those around her, wearing pants and a simple T-shirt that endorsed the Hokage-Smokage, Suzu's favorite punk band. Her hair was a dark green color and her eyes were black.

"You smell funny," Hinata said. It was true. Suzu had a very unique aroma coming off of her. It wasn't bad; it just seemed odd, like smoke but different. Suzu seemed caught off guard by this comment.

"Hey, that's no way to speak to your good friend and editor!"

Hinata's bold side wanted to make a crack at Suzu only being the editor because her uncle owned the company, but she knew that would be going to far. Suzu made sure everyone recognized her abilities so that they wouldn't assume that and saying otherwise would kill their friendship in an instant, no matter how much Hinata was playing.

"Sorry," She bowed her head apologetically. "I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that I've never smelled it before."

"Oh," she said. "Well, if you're a good girl, I might share my secret with you and your friends later. Still, what's with this bowing? We're good friends aren't we? You don't have to be so formal." A sly grin crossed her face. "That's so unlike the Hinata I saw outside the arena getting all these people riled up with such a…such an unusual speech. Was that boy you like behind it?"

Hinata turned beet red, regretting being so open in her letters. "I-I-I," she clapped her hands to her face to break the cycle of stuttering. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

Suzu seemed very pleased with herself at having hit the nail on the head. "Don't play coy with me little girl. I saw the five of you conspiring by the bench. I especially enjoyed how jittery you got when he whispered in your ear. Oh the look on your face was priceless and I have it all on film!" She quickly revealed a disposable camera from out f nowhere which Hinata tried desperately to grab.

"Don't worry Hina-chan," Suzu said, "I'll send you a copy in my next letter along with one of your wet t-shirt debut. Anyways, where is lover boy? I would have expected you to be stalking him."

"Well," Hinata said as she twiddled her fingers. "We got separated."

Suzu looked at her for a while. "You mean he went off on his own and you were scared into this corner by the crowd?" Hinata nodded, not being able to deny the truth. Suzu let out a sigh but maintained her smile. "Who would have thought my best writer would be such a nervous wreck when it comes to these things. I don't blame you for being scared though. You've had a pretty sheltered life and an overprotective household to contend with. We just need to tear down the walls they raised."

"Gomen," Hinata said, staring at the ground.

Suzu landed an open hand smack on the back of Hinata's head with a large smile on her face. "Stop apologizing already!" Hinata began rubbing her head. She hadn't expected Suzu to hit her and she definitely didn't expect her to be so casual about it. Still did what came naturally.

"Gomen."

Sasuke and Sakura…………………sitting in a tree, K-I- (okay, I'm just kidding.)

"Hey, Sasuke. Do your hear something coming from behind us? It sounds like a war's going on."

The Uchiha shrugged his shoulders, but knew exactly what was going on. _Naruto has all the fun, _he thought to himself.

They wandered as close as they could to the front stage and were surprised by what they saw. As they moved further and further up, the number of men decreased and the number of scantily clad women increased. Sasuke described it as a sea of estrogen, but deep down his inner desire was growing stronger. Sakura was confused so she asked a random hood rat what was going on.

"Don't you know?" the girl asked rhetorically and seeming overly excited. "The first band to perform is going to be Aka Sue Me! They're so hot!"

Sakura and Sasuke both shared the same look that screamed 'WTF!' Sasuke couldn't believe how low his brother had fallen and Sakura couldn't believe how stupid the name sounded. How could anyone take them seriously with a name like that? Still, if Itachi's group had this kind of a following already, Sakura and Sasuke knew that they were in deep trouble.

Shino…

The Aburame prodigy looked left and right for something interesting to watch. There was none.

"…" **Translation**: Man, F--- those guys for ditching me like that!

Back to Hinata…

There was a large thud against the wall that Hinata and Suzu were leaning against. When the girls looked to see what it was, Hinata was shocked to find Naruto on the ground rubbing his head. She quickly rushed over to him with Suzu close behind. "Naruto-kun, what happened?"

"Ow," he said, looking up deliriously at the girl who had spoken to him. "Hey, you're kind of cute…" His comment left Hinata completely frozen with shock. "…In a creepy kinda way." Hinata struggled hard not to strangle him, knowing full well now that he had a concussion. She and Suzu helped him up and walked him over to get some ice and water. Very quickly Naruto was back to his old self and quickly filled the two in on his little adventure.

Apparently, after he had beaten up the smartass, he pushed him into a tough looking guy hoping to get his mosh pit started. It worked out perfectly and pretty soon the brawl took over a quarter of the arena. Suzu chuckled to herself at the thought of a mob that size just punching and kicking the shit out of everyone nearby. Naruto went on to say that he had gotten bored with the pit so he turned to leave, but just when he was about to make it out of the crowd, some asshole in a hooded cloak sucker punched him into the wall.

"Oh, you must be talking about the mysterious guitarist from Fallen Shinobi," Suzu said. "I heard he liked to get his freak on in a mosh pit, but I never imagined him to be the kind of guy to pull something as low as a sucker punch."

"Well, if I ever see that asshole again I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!" He made a fist with one hand and slammed it into the open palm of the other. "I'm just glad I ran into a familiar face. Thanks for your help Hinata."

Hinata blushed slightly as she replied. "D-Don't mention it."

Suzu saw this as her opportunity to make a little trouble so she jumped on it. She quickly knelt before Naruto and grabbed his shoulders. "Please, you must tell me. What are your intentions with Hinata?" The look on her face made Naruto feel as if she were calling his morality into question.

Wait, _was_ she calling his morality into question?

…

…

_She is calling my morality into question!_

Naruto, during his travels with Jiraiya, had seen many things. On one of their adventures, Jiraiya had been called to the house of a girl he had been flirting with to talk to her father. Naruto had been forced to wait outside, but it was hard not to hear everything the man had shouted at his teacher. He shouted, Jiraiya was silent, and the girl was crying. Then out of nowhere, the man demanded to know what Jiraiya's intentions were with his daughter. Jiraiya, being the super pervert he was, gave an answer that had them chased out of the village and Naruto knew that if he could remember not to say whatever it was Jiraiya said he would be fine.

The only problem was that he had completely forgotten what his mentor had said. Now, a smart man would have just picked a simple answer and be done with the interrogation, but not Naruto. No, he concentrated so hard on remembering, he did the one thing he shouldn't have.

He said it out loud.

"My intentions are completely impure!" He said, not even sure anymore what the question had been.

To say Hinata went pale would be an understatement. Casper would have flinched. Suzu on the other hand couldn't stop laughing. She smacked the blond boy hard on the back as if she were congratulating him.

"Well, at least you're honest. Crude, but very honest." She turned to Hinata who was in a cold sweat and gave her the thumbs up. "He's a keeper."

Sakura and Sasuke…Again

The sun had finally set, leaving the arena in total darkness. The crowd went quiet not being able to see their hand in front of their faces. Sasuke, Sakura and the other shinobi in the crowd could smell the fear on some of the weaker people. Sasuke was perfectly calm. He was after all trained in sound village which was nothing more than a hole in the ground with absolutely no fluorescent lighting. Who would have thought the great snake sannin could be such a cheapskate. Sakura on the other hand was a little freaked out. She grabbed watch she thought was Sasuke's arm.

It wasn't.

What she had grabbed was a loose knot to a girl's top. Sakura, however, accidentally pulled it, causing the part covering the girl's front to fall off. As Sakura wondered why anyone would wear a top that tied at the neck, the girl was wondering why there was a breeze against the skin of her breasts. As anyone could imagine, this freaked the girl out and she was very vocal about it.

"Oh my God! Someone stole my top! Someone stole my top!" This of course is an exaggeration since the article of clothing was never missing, but just not covering the goods. Of course the guys who had not cared about being near the front of the stage before were now fighting each other to get to the source of the action.

"Sakura," Sasuke said in a tired tone. "What did you do?"

"Shut your god damn mouth," was all she said to him.

Then after what seemed an eternity, the lights finally came on and there was a man on center stage. He was as tall as Kakashi with black hair that was combed forward and over his eyes. There was a smile on his face as he brought a microphone to his mouth.

"How many of you feel like Human Beings!" He shouted at the crowd. Sakura and Sasuke, unsure how to respond, waited for the crowd. Out of the thousands of people in the arena, only one person made a sound.

"YEAH!" shouted the voice, followed by a very loud laugh from the same area that sounded like a woman's voice. Sasuke and Sakura prayed that it wasn't Naruto.

"How many of you feel like animals!"

This time, everyone in the crowd erupted in roars of agreement. When the crowd died down, the voice that had answered alone before decided to speak up.

"Hey!" said the voice, "How the hell was I supposed to know there was a second part to the question!" (AN: Mitch Hedberg is a comedic genius) This had the entire crowd clutching their sides with laughter. Sasuke and Sakura, however, hung their heads in shame knowing full well that it had been Naruto.

The man on stage simply chuckled. "My apologies," he said in a very cool way. "But you are the first person who's ever answered like that." He then turned his attention to everyone in the crowd. "I apologize for the misunderstanding earlier. Had we known that someone was charging an entry fee behind our backs, we would have handled it personally. As the vocalist for Fallen Shinobi, I'd like to extend my sincerest thanks to the girl who called everyone to arms. That was some sick shit you pulled.

"This is going to be a long night and we have a lot of great bands for you so the sooner we get started –" The man was interrupted by the appearance of a short and stubby man with round sunglasses and did he look pissed.

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke shared the same reaction at the sight of them man. "_HOLY SHIT!_ It's Gatoh come back from the dead!" they shouted in unison.

The man stared into the crowd with a puzzled look on his face. "What the hell? I'm not Gatoh you morons! I'm Perroh, his brother." He then turned to the vocalist who had been speaking before. "What the heel do you think you're doing! You know you can't use this arena without my permission! I own the town, so I have every right to charge an entry fee into this arena!"

Serius, that being the vocalists name if you remember from the previous chapter, merely grabbed a sheet of paper from his pocket, unfolded it, and shoved it into Perroh's face. "Wrong Shorty. Check the zoning laws. Owning the town doesn't give you rights to the arena. This arena was purchased by Yondaime Hokage and signed over to me the day he died. Suck on that."

Out of nowhere, the hooded guitarist appeared behind Perroh, picked him up, and kicked him over the crowd and clean-over the stadium wall. Then he and Serius shared a moment where they lifted their arms as if to say the kick was good. Serius then spoke to the crowd again.

"Listen up everyone! This is a night among nights. We more than anyone know full well that we could have charged thousands of dollars per entry and people would have still flocked to see us. However, if we were that kind of band, we wouldn't have the fans we do. You have been loyal to us in all our years, from the good times and the bad. We felt that as our last gift to you, we should let anyone who could make it, see us for one last time at **_our_** expense!"

This last remark had the whole crowd cheering one more time. The speech brought a tear to Hinata's eye as she thought about how cool her idols were. The former members of team seven were still giddy about how the Gatoh look-alike was taken care of. Hell, Naruto even forget that he was supposed to be pissed at the hooded guitarist. Shino simply stood where he was, wondering when the hell he was going to hear any music.

"Alright, now that we have all the sentimental stuff out of the way, I'd like to introduce the first band. They're fairly new but loaded with talent. Let's hear it for Aka Sue Me!" Serius disappeared as the crowd closest to the stage erupted into deafening screams.

Now was the moment that Naruto and company had been waiting for. Sure this was a chance of a lifetime, but their mission was fist and foremost to gather information on their main opponent in the contest for Naruto's life. Their band was composed of five members. Naruto focused first on the people he recognized. Itachi, not having an instrument on stage, must be the vocalist. The human shark, whose name Naruto had forgotten, was a guitarist and so was the blond man with a ponytail. Their bassist and drummer were freaky looking dudes, one looking like a scorpion behind his drums and the other like a shadowy human plant on bass.

When they started playing, the five of them were left with the same thoughts in their mind. Aka Sue Me was good. They were 'sold their souls to the devil' good. There was no way that they'd be able to beat them with only three weeks to improve. Naruto was going to die. Sasuke would be forever shamed. Sakura would lose another teammate. Hinata would lose the boy of her dreams. Shino…well, Shino would feel like shit.

Itachi's vocals seemed to strike down at the very core of the listeners. He didn't even use his sharingan the entire time he performed and that was scary in itself. If the tone of his voice went up, it seemed to lift the listener and if his voice went down, the listener felt like he was falling. The lyrics of the first song made Sasuke sick to his stomach.

Itachi began with a soft haunting melody. The others had their small parts, but for this song it was obvious that Itachi was to be the center.

'When summer ended I learned from my father that every leaf will eventually fall.

Twisting and twirling and spiraling down, never resting 'til they hit the ground.

When I asked why leaves had to die,

He quickly supplied me a reason why.'

'Leaves live a pointless and futile existence,

Catching the sun to feed to the tree.

When Summer ends and Winter approaches,

Trees kill their leaves and continue to be.'

Itachi went silent and the instrument that filled the void was the bass that seemed to be leading up to something, playing the same riff over and over and merely changing in volume. When the bassist finally reached his climax Itachi returned with deafening scream.

'What is the meaning!

What is the reason!

Why can't I feel the change in the season!

Haven't I earned my place in the race?

Where is the answer that they couldn't face!'

The verse was similar to that of the first, but instead of using the haunting voice of before, he instead spoke the words with malice in his voice and painted on his face.

'My father was a wise man but not very smart; he never saw the change in my heart.

Why would I want to resemble a leaf, when all that awaits me is death and defeat?

Farewell to family, farewell to kin

I left only one to live with my sin'

Itachi stopped once again and this time the Kisame and Deidara played what seemed to be a battle duet to represent the clan massacre. Kisame was the victor and his prize was the first solo. It made Naruto want to wet himself with the sheer force behind it. Kisame may be a freaky looking dude, but he was one hell of a guitar player. When he was finished, the bassist did the same thing he had done before ending with another explosion from Itachi.

'Die for me, for the sake of the tree.

Die for me for the sake of the tree!

Cycles, cycles, endless cycles,

With their deaths I was finally free!'

This time Itachi sang the chorus again but with his voice descending under the sound of the instruments. The guitars died down next, and then the bass, until all that remained was the sound of the scorpion guy on drums. Everyone thought the song was over until suddenly everything came back at full volume for one last verse.

'Here is the answer they couldn't face!

In this I've found my place in the race!

My eyes are proof that Hate is the key,

To release the power within you and me.'

This last part was sung with Itachi looking directly at Sasuke and it sent chills down his spine. This song definitely didn't appeal to the women that made up the core of their followers, but it left the metal-heads more than satisfied. Naruto himself had a hard time remaining unmoved.

They had two more songs which only proved that Aka Sue Me had variety. The second was an upbeat punk song that gave Kisame a chance to show off his stage-manship. This song, oddly titled 'Fish Eggs,' was a song that Aka Sue Me lovers wanted and it revealed a very interesting fact about the band. Itachi was not the sex symbol.

No sir. The women near the front of the stage were screaming, "Kisame! Kisame!" and it didn't take nonbelievers long to figure out why. Fishman could work that guitar, playing behind his back, with his teeth, upside down, and other freaky shit. But the fan girls love for Kisame had very little to do with the sound coming from his guitar. No, when they saw his guitar, they saw his penis.

This became evident to Sasuke and Sakura, being so close to the front, when Kisame slid on his knees to the edge of the stage and held the neck out to one of the girls, the body of the guitar pressing at his waist. The girl, unable to believe what was in front of her, reached out to touch the fret boards, Kisame licking his lipless mouth as she did so. When she finally managed to touch it, Kisame strummed a chord. This vibration seemed so powerful that it sent the girl into convulsions right there. Sakura swore that it looked like she was having an orgasm and Sasuke told her to shut up because he didn't want to know.

The last song was yet another punk song but with definite metal influence. By this time, Naruto and the rest of the gang were so exhausted with worry that they just gave in and went with it. They started jumping up and down to the sound, which seemed as infectious as everything else they played. When it was over, women started throwing their panties and bras onstage. Shino finally lost it when he saw this and when people looked at him they could have swore he looked like a decorative fountain gushing out blood.

So ended their mission, but the night was young and there was plenty more to see!


	10. The Concert Part III: Finale

My head hurts. I took off work to finish a report, but instead I find myself finishing this. Don't you just love it when people have their priorities straight? Than you to the people that reviewed and enjoy.

Insert Title Here

As Itachi and his fellow Akatsuki members left the stage, Sasuke and Sakura were left to fend off the endless horde of women trying to bum rush the stage. Of course the legitimate security detail was preventing this, but that did not stop the mass of Kisame/Itachi/Blondie crazed fan girls from trying. Sakura was having a hell of a time knocking out passing women, and although Sasuke always had a thing against psycho women, he could not bring himself to actually harm such naked…innocent girls.

When Aka-Sue-Me was finally off the stage, things calmed down a bit. The fan girls proceeded to redress with whatever piece of clothing they could find. A few riots started as girls started accusing each other of stealing, but it wasn't too serious. Sasuke could not stop his eyes from wondering and much to his misfortune Sakura noticed. Angrily, she grabbed the Uchiha's shirt and forced him face-to-face with her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"N-Nothing," he said, blood rushing to his face.

"Like hell you are!"

"So what if I was looking! They ripped off their own damn clothing, not me! Besides, when the hell else am I going to get the opportunity?"

"What the hell are you talking about? You've never peeked at me before when changed or showered!" Sakura immediately froze when she realized what she had just said. Sasuke was too into the argument to notice.

"Well gee, as tempting as that offer sounds I think I prefer to keep my eyes in their sockets than to have you rip them out when you catch me looking?" It was only after he finished this statement that he realized what Sakura's might imply. "Wait a sec, did you want me to peek?"

Sakura was quickly trying to think of something to say when her inner self whispered a suggestion. Sakura turned back to Sasuke nervously but brought up the courage she needed to speak with as straight a face as she could. "Did you want to?"

So here they were, both too embarrassed to say anything or even to look at each other. Sakura tried to figure out something she could say to move things forward but without any success. After all, she had never been in this kind of situation before. When she looked up, however, her mood instantly died and was replaced with seething rage. When Sasuke had turned away from embarrassment, his eyes had caught sight of a very well endowed woman with blond hair who was fighting to put on a bra much too small for her. The raven haired boy was drooling.

A vein in Sakura's forehead popped as she glared at him.

"YOU SON OF A –" she started, but instead of finishing her sentence, she landed a hard kick to Sasuke's backside, propelling him straight into the women he was staring at moments ago.

The woman was somewhat confused. After all, it's not every day she's knocked onto the ground with a guy's head lodged into her cleavage……wait, who the hell is she kidding, it's the story of her life. Still, it was perfectly natural for her to get up, kick her 'assaulter' where it hurts, and then run away screaming.

As Sasuke lied there clutching his manhood in pain, another woman rushed to his side with a concerned look on her face. "Hey, are you all right!"

Though still agony, Sasuke's face tried to look irritated. "What the hell do you think?"

The woman turned to Sakura with an accusing glance as she helped the Uchiha onto his feet. "Did you do this to him?"

Sakura wore a cool look on her face completely devoid of any guilt. "If you're asking if I kicked him in that particular area then no, that wasn't me."

"Oh sure," Sasuke muttered, "you've got some nerve acting innocent when this all happened because of you overreacting."

"Hey, I'm not the one that can't keep my eyes in place!"

After hearing this, the woman was finally able to put two and two together and addressed Sakura. "You mean to tell me that this all happened because you got jealous of your boyfriend looking at other girls. That sounds like a person problem honey."

Sakura had had enough. "Who are you calling honey you two cent whore! If you want him then you can have him!" With that, Sakura walked away angrily from the stage and into the thrashing crowd. Still, she had the strange feeling that she was forgetting something.

Hinata and Company…

"Hey this band is awesome, Hinata!" Naruto shouted to his shy companion. "Who are they?"

Hinata was starting to loosen up to her blond crush and was glad to share her knowledge. "Their called Sake-kagure and they're one of the main bands that toured with Fallen Shinobi in their earlier days. Since most of the band gets wasted before the show, the named themselves that in honor of their inebriation."

"Inebri what now?" Naruto asked with a puzzled look on their face.

"It's the feeling of being shit-faced!" Suzu chided in with a big grin on her face.

"Oh!" Naruto said trying to look like he understood, but was further confused as to why anybody would put crap on their face.

As the three proceeded to free themselves in the music, Naruto noticed a very angry Sakura breaking through the crowd. However, he took note that this was not a typical angry Sakura. No, the look on her face was laced with murderous intent the likes of which he had never seen. _Ah hell, _he thought,_ what did that bastard do now?_

By this time Sakura had made it to the concession stand and demanded the vendor give her a bottle of water. Normally, the vendor would have asked her to pay, but seeing the look on the girl's face made him think about his pregnant wife at home and how he really wanted to see his kid being born (Not that I could understand why. Births have got to be the sickest sight known to man, and I don't care what the significance is!)

"Sakura," Naruto said in a worried tone, "Are you okay?"

Without saying a word, Sakura turned her glare towards her teammate. Naruto got the feeling that she wanted to be left alone, and having almost soiled himself after seeing such a scary face, he decided to give her the space she wanted. However, this did not stop Hinata, who seemed very puzzled by Sakura showing up alone.

"Ano," Hinata began, "where is Sasuke?"

She drained the twenty ounce bottle of water and demanded another before answering. "Probably with that bimbo he was fawning over."

This only seemed to make Hinata, and even Naruto, worried. "How?" she asked, quite perplexed by the pink haired girl's statement.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Naruto interjected, "with that leash and all…"

Sakura let this new piece of information process in her mind.

She is here…

…Sasuke is there…

…Sasuke should have been bound to her by the invisible leash…

…therefore Sasuke should be here...

…but Sasuke is with that girl….

…over there.

All murderous intent aside, Sakura proceeded to panic "Oh crap! Tsunade-sama is going to kill me! Why the hell would she use a justu that could be passed off without telling me!"

"So does that mean that we're going to go look for him?" Naruto asked. Sakura struggled to calm herself. Finally calm, she thought over her options until she had made up her mind.

"No," she said with a straight face. "Let him have his fun. With the way he was staring at the girls around him, he should be happy not having me around to interfere. Besides, I feel liberated right now not having to deal with him."

"But Sakura," Hinata said. "It could be dangerous having him tied to a stranger. If anything happens to the escort, then the prisoner also suffers, remember?"

Sakura shot a look at Hinata. "What could possibly go wrong at a concert?"

"Well," Suzu said, not bothering to introduce herself first, "There was that time a guy was stabbed to death at the Rolling Stone-nin's concert."

"Then there was that time when a man was beaten to death by people who didn't like the shirt he was wearing," Hinata added.

"And you can't forget the time that fat guy jumped off the stage into the crowd and flattened that girl two years ago."

Hinata nodded in agreement as she continued. "Sakura, that bond would also give that girl more control over Sasuke than anyone has a right to have. Tsunade chose you because she trusted you not to do anything foolish. What happens if this girl turns out to be some nutjob and tries to take advantage of him?"

Sakura opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Suzu. "Then her boyfriend should be more concerned about catching V.D. than anything else." Three pairs of eyes looked at Suzu as if she had just said something that ought not to have been said. "What? That stuff's a bitch to deal with…not that I would know from experience…eh heh heh."

"Hinata," Sakura whispered to the girl next to her, "who is this woman and why is she hanging around you two?"

"It's a long story so I'll tell you later."

"Well," Sakura said aloud as if declaring it to the world, "Sasuke's a big boy and doesn't need our help protecting his own ass." (For all those that have a disturbing mental image in mind, get your heads out of the gutter.)

Sakura proceed to chug yet another bottle of water when Suzu walked over and took it from her. When Sakura turned to confront Suzu she was greeted by a swift slap across the face. Needless to say, this left Sakura feeling shocked beyond belief.

"What the hell was that for!"

"That," Suzu began, spilling the contents of the bottle onto the ground as well as pushing her glasses back up, "is for being a naïve little girl. Look around you. There isn't a straight guy here who wouldn't start gawking and acting brainless at what your friend probably saw and half of them brought their girlfriends. You should be thankful he had enough respect… well, probably fear in your case… to simply look without making some jack ass comment. Hell, considering how popular he is with the ladies, or so Hina-chan tells me, he could have his way with any one of those floosies."

Sakura looked away angrily, but Suzu caught the meaning behind it.

"O, I see now. You're upset that he doesn't look at you that way!" She started laughing so hysterically that her glasses fell clean off her face. Sadly, they did not survive. "Let me put it things perspective for you. You," she said pointing at Sakura, "one whiny teenage girl with a habit of beating guys into the ground. They are a harem of women in their prime who know how to toy with guys' emotions. And those aren't just any women! Those are Aka Sue Me after and Aka Sue Me performance. I'd bet money that God himself couldn't resist taking a peek."

Speak of the Devil…er, God…

"Atchoo!" came a loud and thunderous sneeze. The Almighty set down his binoculars has he wiped his nose. "Hey, doesn't anyone say 'bless you' anymore?"

"Bless Yourself you old pervert!" His Son shouted from wherever he was.

"If you've got something to say to me you little whelp, then say it to my face!"

"Are you going to quite spying on that harem down below long enough to do anything about it?" There was a long silence. "I thought not!"

God decided it would be best to just ignore his son and get back to the…observation of mankind he had been doing before. He picked up his binoculars and put then to his eyes. He instantly wished he had taken the time to look at the lenses first before doing so.

"Ah gross! I have snot in my eyes!"

Back to Suzu…

"If you're self conscious that's something you need to contend with on your own, but that doesn't mean you should abandon your friend. So are you going to look for this Sasuke guy now?" Sakura muttered an inaudible yeah as she rubbed her swollen cheek. "I can't hear you!"

"Y-Yes ma'am!" Sakura stammered afraid she might get slapped again.

"Good! Now get your ass in and find your man!"

Naruto leaned over to whisper to Hinata. "She's scary," he said. "It's like being with Anko all over again." Hinata was about to explain Suzu's similarities to Anko when she realized that Suzu was staring at them. She gulped in anticipation.

"What are you two standing around for? Go help her," she said calmly, suprising Hinata after the outburst she had made earlier.

"H-Hai," she responded nervously, not wanting to ask if she would be tagging along or not. She knew better than to question direction when they came from this editor. Apparently Naruto did not and had to be dragged along by Hinata before he upset the older woman.

When the three were out of site, a devilish grin spread across Suzu's face as she took out a small camera from her pocket. "Memories can be so much fun," she said to no one in particular and she vanished in the crowd.

Sasuke and the New Girl…

Sasuke was having a very difficult time fighting this new woman off of him. Sure it was a losing battle to keep someone you were tied to away, but she didn't have to be so clingy. Earlier she had seemed concerned about his well being so Sasuke had hoped that she might have been the type to actually respect his personal space. This was not the case.

"Uh, I know we're kind of stuck together, but that doesn't mean we need to be this close," he said, referring to the way she was embracing him tightly from behind. Something about her didn't sit well with him.

(Note: the following dialogue, and a huge chunk of the rest of the story for that matter, may be more offensive and disturbing then stuff I have previously done in this fic. Read at your own risk. Thus warn-eth the Author!)

_Are you queer or something!_ Said a very unwanted voice,_ Just let her take advantage of you! _

Sasuke responded automatically, though he knew it was pointless. _Go away. This situation is bad enough._

_Of course it is! _The voice shouted back. _I'm the mojo of a gay kid! Do you realize how much this sucks for me!_

_Damnit, you never-ending migraine! If I were gay wouldn't you be?_

_Touché. Still, if you don't take advantage of this opportunity to get some then I call your manhood into question._

_But I thought you were my manhood, _Sasuke said slyly know full well it would hit his libido where it hurt.

It did.

_Shut the hell up and get laid, queer!_

"Oh you're so cute when you squirm! That girl with the pink hair doesn't know what she gave up!" the girl was babbling enthusiastically. Still that last part caught his attention. Sure Sasuke knew he was a looker. How could he not considering girls reminded him every single day. But there were plenty of good looking guys everywhere Sasuke wasn't ashamed to admit it. So what exactly did this girl see as special.

"Beg your pardon," he said stupidly.

"Who would give up a guy that looks so much like that singer from Aka Sue Me? Most of the girls here would kill for a piece of you and she was throwing you around like it was nothing," she said angrily, tightening her grip as if someone were coming to take him away.

_It's about time being related to that bastard came in handy!_

Sasuke's jaw dropped. She thought he looked like Itachi? The Uchiha had the sudden urge to choke the life out of his capture, but he knew that doing so would end his own life. It was still tempting. Sure he and Itachi were siblings, but that didn't mean the boy wanted to be reminded of the fact, especially when it came to girls wanting to jump him as if he were his brothers. He had his on fan girls to do that!

Sasuke made a more urgent attempt at getting loose, but the girl quickly pulled him back…hard…so hard in fact that Sasuke noticed something he had not before. Something that should not have been there and in a place all together inappropriate and unwanted. And it was pressing against Sasuke's backside.

"What the—" he began in a confused and freaked out way, but all the pieces fell into place. The strong chin, the small bump in her throat, and that bulge were all evidence. This woman was really a man! This She was really a He! This chic was really a…

_DUDE!_ Screamed the voice. _You almost did a guy! You really are gay!_

_We're talking about the same guy you wanted me to plow thirty seconds ago, right?_ Sasuke shot back. There was a long silence in Sasuke's head as the boy fought to keep his distance from the cross dressing psycho.

That silence ended in the worst possible way.

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

Somewhere lost in the Crowd…

Sakura's froze in her tracks. Confused Naruto and Hinata asked what the matter was. "My Sasuke sense is telling me he's in trouble," she said, turning her head as if she were looking for something.

"Sasuke-sense?" Naruto asked as if it was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. (Definitely the dumbest thing I have)

"Yeah, all the fan girls have them." She turned toward the front of the stage near an exit. "He's over there!"

As Sakura took off, Naruto turned to Hinata as if she were the last sane person on the planet and sighed. "I apologize for ever calling you creepy or weird," he said, causing Hinata's face to turn into a tomato.

Quickly, the two raced to keep up with Sakura. Naruto kept in front of Hinata, more so that he had the pleasure of swatting aside people to slow in moving than for her benefit, but Hinata appreciated the gesture regardless. Sakura was like a bloodhound after a fox. A drunken man made a pass at her but she simply dismissed it with a well placed knee to the gut. And she wonders why she has problems with men?

They found their teammate in no time flat with his new lady friend. Naruto thought that the woman was pretty hot, but something about the way Sasuke looking at her in terror told him that was a dangerous thought. He was not sure why, but this particular woman seemed to remind him of someone he used to know, though he couldn't put his finger on who.

By this time Sasuke had noticed that his saviors had arrived and he looked relieved. "Oh thank god! Quick, get this…whatever she…he…it is away from me!"

"Sasuke," Sakura sounded annoyed, "what the hell are you talking about? You didn't seem to have a problem with it fifteen minutes ago when I left you with her."

Sasuke hated that he had to defend himself from Sakura's verbal attacks as well as deal with his own degrading situation but he knew that the sooner he had her help the sooner he could get out of this mess. "First of all," he started, dodging a lunge by the cross-dressing, Itachi-loving man, "you were pissed and I know how you are when you get like that. There was no way I was going to say anything. Second, I didn't ask to get tied to this nut job. You did that all on your own. Now hurry up and save me."

A part of Sasuke died when Itachi slaughtered his clan. Another part of Sasuke died that day as those words were muttered. Let us have a moment of silence.

Sakura was completely unphased. "Not until you tell me why you're avoiding her like she had a disease."

"She's a he," he muttered. Despite the noise of the band playing and the crowd screaming, his three friends heard it loud and clear. Hinata was speechless, not that anyone could tell, Sakura was pissed that yet another guy could look sexier than she did, and Naruto hit the floor laughing. "Oh, you guys can just go to hell! Are you going to help me or what!"

"The only way we can free you is if she gives up the leash willingly," said Hinata. "We aren't sure how Sakura did it in the first place."

"Yeah," Naruto spoke as he fought to control his fit of laughter, "you're the genius, Sasuke. Got any bright ideas?"

"I do," Sakura cut in, cracking her knuckles with a sinister smile on her face. She was staring now at the Haku-like man in front of her.

Hinata seemed very worried. "Sakura! You can't kill her…I mean him! If you do, Sasuke dies too!"

"I'm not going to kill it," she said, sounding almost insane, "I'm just going to hurt it really, really bad." Her intended victim nearly soiled himself upon hearing this.

Naruto scratched his head. "But wouldn't you also be hurting Sasuke really, really bad?"

Naruto's words gave a ray of hope to the poor cross-dresser who now feared for his safety. "Yeah, what that blond kid said! You wouldn't hurt your boyfriend, would you?"

"I get the feeling he really doesn't mind," the pink haired girl replied pointing at the ground behind the Haku-a-like. There Sasuke was already in the fetal position in anticipation of the ass whooping of his life. "I suggest you do the same if you know what's good for you," he told the man/woman more for his sake than for hers.

All hope shattered for the poor defenseless Itachi-lover, whose name we will never know, he dropped to the ground as his pink haired assailant leaped towards her. There was a loud shriek of agony, groans from those disturbed by the site of the man being beaten nearly to death, and the sound of several people vomiting, though that had little to do with this and more to do with bad beer. Then, all was quiet.

Back at the Make-Shift Bar…

"Everybody back in one piece?" Suzu asked the group of four cheerfully. They nodded their heads in reply.

Everything turned out alright in the end. Well, everything except for the transvestite needing to be taken to an emergency room, but other than that, everything was peachy. The attractive man had actually given Sakura full control of Sasuke a mere millisecond before Sakura laid a hand on him. Of course, that didn't stop Sakura from venting and after seeing what Sakura was capable of when she lost her mind, Sasuke was grateful to the poor bastard.

Sakura was not entirely happy that Sasuke had gotten off scot-free, but she promised that if he were a good boy, she wouldn't take out her leftover aggression on him, patting his head in play. Sasuke was so scarred by the memory of what he had just seen that he let the dog references slide. He had every intention of being a 'good boy.'

Naruto, being the cool friend that he was, could have let the whole incident slide. He of all people would have more reason to show sympathy to the Uchiha especially considering how he once stated that Haku, a cross dressing boy in love with the ugliest dudes you could ever meet, was cuter than Sakura. He could have.

But then he wouldn't be Naruto, would he?

"You should have seen it! Sakura saved Sasuke's ass both literally and figuratively!" Hearing this, Sasuke cursed the bastard that gave Naruto a dictionary to look up those two words. It was embarrassing enough without Naruto pulling off words like those to rub it in.

"Interesting," Suzu said with her thumbs and forefinger stroking her chin. However, the girl had other things on her mind. "You guys are just in time! Fallen Shinobi are about to perform." As the four teens looked towards the stage, the lights were dimmed and everyone in the crowd went silent. What they had been waiting for was moments away: The final appearance of Fallen Shinobi.

The rhythmic tapping of the high hats broke the silence, then some improvisation from the drummer, and then silence once again. It stayed that way for some time and many people from the crowd were starting to whisper among themselves. As if that were the cue, the entire band exploded in sound. Aside from scaring the hell out of everyone, this explosion wasn't just loud noise. It was smooth, but rough and loud, yet almost soft at the same time. In a word, I guess you could call it eerie.

When the vocals came, it was something else entirely. He was like the pied piper coming to take the children away for payment. Without even realizing what they were doing, Naruto and Hinata headed for the stage and their companions followed close behind. The sound was intoxicating and they couldn't get enough. Male and female members of the audience were swooning like lovesick schoolgirls, but Fallen Shinobi was just getting started.

Every note they played sent a shiver down someone's spine, every riff made them weak in the knees, and for every word sung, someone cried tears of joy. The crowd was putty in their hands and they loved every minute of it. Why anyone would give this up was beyond anyone's comprehension, but the music was all that mattered and the music said it was time to go.

Hinata was having trouble seeing, and without giving it a second thought, Naruto bent down and offered to lift her onto his shoulders. Her cheeks blushed for a moment, but she accepted with a smile on her face. Naruto was surprised to find that she was very light and was not a burden on his shoulders. Then again, he had spent a lot of his training carrying Jiraiya's drunken ass around so he was confident in his strength. He also had to admit that the feel of her hands resting on his head was pleasant and not unwanted.

Seeing Sakura looking enviously at Hinata was enough motivation for Sasuke to offer the same luxury Naruto had. Sakura glared at her charge as he bent down, still upset at him from earlier. When she did not accept his gesture, Sasuke applied stealth and swiftness to force her on his shoulders before she had a chance to react. Like hell was he going to let **her** turn **him** down. After a while though, he realized that it wasn't a bad feeling having his hands resting on her thighs, but maybe that was just his inner self getting the best of him.

Naruto shot Sasuke a chastising look (not that he would know what that means). Who would have thought that the genius of Team 7 would be following the lead of the dobe? Sasuke parried the look by flipping him off, but they quickly dropped their silent argument. After all, neither of them wanted to experience what would happen if they dropped one of the girls. Sakura was naturally violent and who knew what the shy girl was capable of.

Fallen Shinobi was on their last song, which seemed to be a ballad about the loss of someone close to them. It seemed fitting since the departure of their comrade seemed to represent the departure of the band from the music world. Both Naruto and Sasuke felt as if it were raining and then realized that the girls were crying. It was understandable that Hinata would feel sad at the loss of her favorite band, but why would Sakura be crying? Was their music really that powerful?

They were so preoccupied with the girls' state that they failed to feel the tears falls from their own eyes.

Then something happened that would change everything. The four of them had managed to position themselves at the front of the crowd at closest to center stage where the band was performing. While the band had been playing, Hinata had closed her eyes as if entranced by the sound, and since the crowd was so loud, she started to sing to herself without fear of being noticed. However, since Hinata was on Naruto's shoulder, the band did notice. The same thought instantly flashed in each of their minds.

The band never stopped playing, but they moved like pieces on a checker/chess/shogi board, positioning themselves as they needed. The final lines were approaching as the cloaked guitarist played his solo. Just as it came to an end, Serius held the mic in front of Hinata's lips. The sound from her voice was picked up by the mic, was sent through the wires into a complex enigma that is the sound system, where it broken and sent into speakers all around the arena. It wasn't what anyone expected, but it left everyone who heard it in awe.

'The light you shined on us is fading away.

When will a new one take its place?

My search has ended and here I stay,

Wasting away dreaming of your angelic face…

Come back…

Come back…

Come back…'

Hinata could sing.

Of course when she realized that she had just sung the final lines of the last song her favorite band would every play in front of thousands of people, she did what anyone in her situation would do. She fainted into a coma.

Meanwhile…

Unbeknownst to the crowd, a great, black flew above them. If one were to look carefully, they would have been able to see that within the darkness that was the cloud, there were specks of odd tints and dyes. When the cloud finally reached their destination, which was a tree on the far end of the arena that had been abandoned when people rushed towards the stage. The cloud of small black insects dissipated, dropping their load onto a single person.

"…" (Translation: I could die now without any regrets.)


	11. Surprises: What You Least Expect

My God! It's actually done. It took me three tries and I had to reread (something I absolutely hate doing.) it twice, but it is done. I hope this is worth the wait. Okay, this happens to be my favorite chapter so far, but seeing as how it took more than a couple of months, it'll probably fall short of your high expectations. Oh well. If it's any consolation, I aced most of my finals by studying instead. See, if I pass my finals, I get to stay in school. If I stay in school, I won't have to get a full-time job. If I don't have to get a full time job, I'll have time for hobbies. If I have time for hobbies, I can write this fanfiction. So everybody wins.

My apologies to people who actually have full-time jobs and still manage to regularly update their fanfics.

This chapter is also dedicated to a fic I ran into a month ago called Hinata's Music Filled Day. I thought, "Man that is some scary yet funny stuff! I could totally get half a story tying that fic into this one!" So tie it in I did and I really hope people will read it (thing will also make more sense as I refuse give away specific details about someone else's story). There's another reminder later in case you forget.

Well, enjoy the chapter and review!

Surprises: What You Least Expect

"Please stop," Hinata mumbled as she tossed and turned in the hotel bed. Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Shino watched with concern as the sleeping girl fought with her nightmare. They nearly had simultaneous heart attacks when she woke up kicking and screaming.

"Enough already! My fragile mind can't take much more!" she shouted with paranoid fear in her eyes. Not sure where she was or what she was doing there, she glanced around the room with sharp twists of her neck so forceful, her friends feared her head my pop off. Slowly, everything came back to her: Rushing the bouncers, meeting up with Suzu, rescuing Sasuke from the tranny, and finally, accidentally singing to the largest crowd she'd ever seen and then passing out. Fallen Shinobi could burn in hell as far as Hinata was concerned.

Feeling embarrassed for a thousand reasons, she looked down at her hands as they fidgeted with each other over her lap. "I," she lifted her head to look at the four of them, and then let it face downward once again in shame. "I'm sorry."

Sakura seemed annoyed by the apology. "What the hell are you apologizing for? The concert was just about over anyways, so it's not like we missed anything when we had to drag your unconscious behind out of their. In fact," she said, her irritancy giving way to admiration, "it was a piece of cake getting you out since the entire crowd was in shock."

"Yeah," Sasuke said with a smirk on his face. "You even managed to shut the dobe up."

Naruto hid the desire to kill his ex-teammate like a champion. Instead, he clasped his hands behind his head, shut his eyes, and, with a smile on his face, stunned them all. "Well," he said, "after hearing a voice like Hinata's, who wouldn't be?" The moron had actually countered Sasuke's insult like an adult. Mouth agape, the Uchiha was speechless. Proud of himself, Naruto diverted his attention from the stunned Sasuke to Hinata. The compliment was so surprising, Hinata forgot to blush.

Shino tried waving his hands in front of the statuesque Hinata hoping to get a reaction without any luck. "…" (Damn it Naruto! We're back where we started with her!)

Before Naruto could respond to the accusation, everyone heard someone in the hall outside the hotel room whistling. It was an odd tune since few of them were familiar with the style of music, but it did remind them of a musical the Hokage, (dead old one and not the hot new one) had held while they were still in the academy. Men were dressed in tuxedoes and woman wore dresses that could blind people and there was singing and dancing. Frankly, it was well beyond the understanding of children growing up in a hidden shinobi village, but whatever it was, Hinata was reacting badly to it.

Released from her trance, the girl began pressing her back against the headboard of the bed and raising the blanket above her mouth and nose. The paranoia from before had returned full force. As the whistling grew louder, so too did Hinata's state of panic escalate.

Just when it seemed the whistling could grow no louder, it stopped. A feeling of relief overcame Hinata, and her friends relaxed a little after seeing the frightened girl calm down a bit. However, the worst was moments away. Next came the singing.

"If you're blue…"

Out of fear, Hinata reached out and grabbed Naruto's arm, bringing it towards her for protection. This confused Naruto, leaving him looking as helpless as Hinata did.

"…and you don't know…"

A rustling sound was coming from just outside the room as the mysterious voice continued to sing. Hinata's grip on Naruto's arm strengthened and Naruto grew concerned for Hinata's state of mind. Sakura, who was still in the room, was brainstorming ideas on how to wake the still shocked Sasuke.

"…where to go to…"

The doorknob to their room began turning, catching Shino's attention. The bug user tensed, a tingling sensation warning him that his health was in danger. Hinata clutched Naruto's arm with even more force than before, this time digging her fingers in. Naruto now grew concerned for the well-being of his captive arm.

"…why don't you go where fashion sits…"

There was a pause from outside the room and a silence within as the knob stopped turning.

Slowly the door began to creak open.

The floor creaked as the mysterious visitor took a step through the door, revealing nothing more than a boot.

Crickets outside began creaking in the hopes of getting laid.

Somewhere on the other side of the planet, a high school student was being drowned by a girl suffering from unrequited love in a creek named after the poor bastard (serves you right Dawson).

Then, just as they were beginning to relax their guard, the stranger burst through the door and landed in the middle of the room.

"PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ!"

Hinata screamed like a madwoman.

Naruto screamed in pain as all ten of Hinata's fingers ripped through the flesh of his arm.

Shino screamed like a girl when he realized just who had entered the room.

Sakura growled in frustration at the frozen Sasuke, kicking him in the shin and hoping to God it hurt like hell when he woke up.

Sasuke……….remained stunned.

The figure standing calmly in the room looked mockingly at the poor, frightened girl on the bed. "Hinata, you have got to be the only girl on the planet who can go from catatonic to psychotic in less than sixty seconds." After hearing the characteristic mix of sarcasm and cynicism, Hinata finally realized who it was that was speaking to her. "Anko-sensei?"

"The one and only," she said with a sinister smile, walking towards her and stepping on Shino who had gotten into the fetal position. "I had just gotten back to see how you were doing when I ran into an old friend of mine." Everyone still conscious glanced at the door and saw Suzu poking her head through the doorway. "Yo!" she said cheerfully.

"You two know each other?" Naruto asked redundantly, nursing his wounded arm.

"That explains a lot," Sakura muttered.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Anko said with a threatening look. It was enough to silence Sakura for a while. "I thought so. Anyways, she explained everything that's happened since I left." She turned her attention to Hinata and flashed a proud smile. "And I do mean everything. Still, I'd really like to know how the hell 'Puttin' on the Ritz' earned that kind of reacton."

Curiosity getting the better of them, everyone turned their attention to the white eyed girl. One would have expected the shy girl to faint again, but seeing Naruto's arm was enough to guilt her into reliving the nightmare. "Well," she started nervously, looking back and forth between her genin companions, "it was a really, _really _bad dream. You were there, and you were there, and you were there…."

Five Minutes Later…

(Hinata's dream is actually another fanfiction, so if you want to know what could possibly derange such a sweet and innocent kid like Hinata, read Hinata's Music Filled Day by RedLotusNin and IceHunterNin)

"…and that's when I woke up."

The room was silent as the group wondered how such a quiet girl could have such a scary imagination. The only person completely unaffected by the tale was Sasuke, but considering how he was nothing more than a statue at the moment, not much was expected from him. Even Suzu and Anko, veterans of scary shit, seemed disturbed.

"Anko," Suzu said in a pleading tone. "Promise you'll put me out of my misery and kill me if Hiashi ever does _that_ in the real world."

"No can do," the jounin said. "If I'm going to put anyone out of their misery first, it's going to be me." She put her hands on Hinata's shoulder and looked her dead in the eyes. "Hinata, you are a sick, sick girl. Most people have nightmares about being eaten alive, falling into a bottomless pit, seeing the Third Hokage butt-naked, or Naruto procreating." She shuddered at that last one while Naruto scratched his head wondering what exactly procreating meant. "But only you could come up with something that…evil."

"I don't know," Sakura said in a sweet voice staring dreamily at Sasuke like she hadn't done since I started this story. "I thought it was kind of cute." Had Sasuke been conscious, he would have hurled.

Shino, if anything, seemed offended. "…" (Stomp? What kind of sick joke is your subconscious trying to pull? I have insects in my body for Christ's sake!) (AN: I get the feeling only a few people are actually going to get the joke, but oh well. I'm laughing my ass off.)

"I will never be able to look at Gaara with a straight face again," Naruto said. "And how does someone survive after hearing Lee on vocals? Hinata, you could have at least warned us first."

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that everyone seemed so interested, Anko-sensei was being scary, and your arm…"

Naruto laughed a little, dissolving the fear and anxiety in the room. "You mean this," he said, raising the arm Hinata had been clinging to moments before. "Don't worry about it. See, it's already healed."

Sure enough, nothing except the strange tattoo could be found on the arm. No open wound, no cut, no scab, and not even a drop of blood. Still, despite her confusion as to how anyone human could heal so quickly, Hinata was glad that she had not harmed him as much as she thought she did. "If it's alright with everyone, I think we should go out," she said. "I don't feel too comfortable in this room after what just happened and I'm sure everyone could use the fresh air."

"That is such a great idea," Anko said enthusiastically. "I know a great place."

"It's a bar, isn't it?" Naruto and Sakura said in unison, not surprised at all when she nodded cheerfully.

At that moment, Sasuke snapped out of his trance and let out an agonizing cry. "What the hell! I feel like I walked into a goddamn breakfast table!" Still nursing his shin, he completely missed the self-satisfied grin on Sakura's face.

Later While Walking To Some Bar…

None of them really wanted to go to a bar but, since Anko had the money from the Hokage, they had little choice in the matter. Suzu and Anko began talking about what they had been doing with their lives after Suzu left the village and how much fun they had as kids growing up. The genin learned that they had been neighbors, best friends, and pranksters beyond even Naruto's skill and talent, though Naruto denied their claims.

Sasuke, wanting to know what happened while he was out of it, was briefed by Sakura about Anko's creepy entrance and Hinata's even creepier dream. After hearing his part in the dream, he scoffed. "No self-respecting Uchiha would ever wear a leotard…_ever!_"

"Oh yeah?" Naruto challenged. "What about that getup you wore for the chuunin exam?"

"That was NOT a leotard! That was a…"

"…an oversized black condom with enough bandages to keep the hospital stocked for a few years?" Anko cut in.

"Yes," Sasuke said prematurely, quickly realizing how stupid he seemed. "I mean no! Hell no! That didn't look anything like a condom!"

"But you _were_ wearing enough bandages to last the hospital a while, and I would know," Sakura interjected. Sasuke, seeing that he had been beaten, dropped the subject.

A while later, they reached the place Anko had in mind only to find a huge line in front of the entrance. Seeing as how they had walked all the way from their hotel room, they sure as hell were not planning on going back, but they did feel the need to do away with the line. Sasuke, being a pupil of the man himself, was afraid Anko was going to go Orochimaru on the people ahead of them. He certainly didn't have a problem with her doing away with them in such a fashion, but he preferred they remain inconspicuous. Fortunately, so did the Tsunade.

Not one to let setbacks like that hinder them, Anko and Suzu decided to use this opportunity to show Naruto what true pranksters were made of. Anko took off her jacket and headband and then tore off half of the fishnet stocking shirt she wore underneath. She then undid her hair and shook it out giving off a wild appearance. Suzu, who had been a wearing an ordinary blouse and slacks, unbuttoned the blouse and tied the ends across her bust, showing off a fair amount of cleavage. Then, to the utter shock of the younger girls, they took off their pants. The boys immediately had to hold their noses to stop the blood from flowing when they realized that the women were wearing thongs. Deep down inside, however, they were a little disappointed that they had anything on at all.

The senior pranksters walked towards the line and proceeded with a dialogue meant to be private but said loud enough for the crowd of horny men to hear.

"I can't believe that asshole fired us!"

"Yeah, and all because we wouldn't put out for the customers. I'm a stripper for crying out loud, not some two-bit whore."

"Still, why did he have to fire us?"

"What do you expect when you have that many girls willing and able. Face it girl, we're just too old and the young ones are a dime a dozen there, and I mean that literally."

The men standing in line were looking at each other for support, not sure what they should do. Slowly, they began to sneak away and run in the direction Anko and Suzu had come from. When the skirt chasers were gone, Anko and Suzu walked back to the group and put their clothes back on.

"Your turn brat," Suzu said with a grin. "Let's see what you can do."

Naruto took a look back at the line and sure enough, half remained. Women, the straight ones anyways, wouldn't be lured away by the promise of T&A. The blond boy thought for a moment and then it hit him. "This is going to be easier than making Hinata blush," he said, causing the girl to do just that.

He walked behind a tree near the bar so that no one, not even the people he was with, could see him. _Henge! _they heard him shout and when the explosion of smoke had died down, he leaped out from behind the tree in the guise of Jiraiya. He faced the line of woman with a devious grin, holding his arms out and making grabby motions with his hands.

"Keh, keh, keh," he laughed, imitating Jiraiya perfectly. "Getchu!" he shouted like a sexual deviant, taking a step towards the crowd. In an instant, the women ran screaming in the opposite direction. When the last of them were out of sight, Naruto turned back to his friends and gave them the thumbs up, still in the guise of Jiraiya. Anko, having been on the receiving end of the old perverts antics, shivered.

"Strong is the force with him," Suzu said in a playful manner. "Much potential he has."

"Hmph!" she grunted, "consumed by the dark side he is!"

"As if your one to talk," Suzu said as she elbowed her old friend.

Inside the Bar…

Despite Anko's insistence that they go to this specific bar, the genins could not figure out what was so special about it. It wasn't any cleaner than other bars, the prices were the same, they didn't serve anything out of the ordinary (not that the minors could drink anyways), and the bartender looked like some average Joe with a fairly decent arrest record. If anything seemed unusual to them it was the small stage directly across from the entrance. Sure they had heard about them, but none of them had actually seen one in a bar. Then again, this was probably the first bar any of them, with the exception of Naruto who had traveled with Jiraiya, had been in.

Anko and Suzu took a seat at the bar while the underage genins went to a table near the stage. Apparently the bar was having an amateur night, and anyone with any sort of musical or comical talent was allowed to perform. Some were good, some were bad, and some were so terrible that audience members ran on stage and beat the performers. While a comedian was being taking away on a stretcher, Naruto had gone on stage to pick up the tooth that had fallen to the floor. When his friends asked why he did it, Naruto replied, "to see what the tooth fairy will give me for them."

Hinata noticed that the two women had been doing very little drinking their entire time at the bar. Instead, she saw that they were talking to the bartender and directing his attention to the group at the table. Hinata had a bad feeling, but just when she figured out what they were planning it was too late.

"Guys and gals," the announcer began. "Our next performers have come here all the way from the Hidden Village of Leaf. So new they don't even have a name, please give a hand for Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Aburame Shino, and Uchiha Sasuke!"

The crowd gave an encouraging applause and the announcer was just about to leave the stage when a kunai hit the ground right where he was about to step. There was a note attached to it, which he quickly read. "My apologies everyone. Accompanying the band will be the same girl whose voice managed to stun an entire crowd silent just a few hours ago at the Fallen Shinobi's farewell concert, Hyuga Hinata!" The audience members, many having been to the concert, were in awe and unsure whether it could be true that the same girl was here in this bar and about to perform again.

Sakura, dragging Sasuke along unwillingly, was the first to approach the stage. "What are you talking about? How are we supposed to play without our instruments?" Sasuke made a sarcastic comment about borrowing from one of the other bands, but Sakura quickly silenced him with a swift kick to the shin. "So it was you!" he cried out in pain.

The announcer gave the pink haired girl a puzzled look. "But your instruments were hand delivered just an hour before you got here." He directed her attention to a silver haired man lying face down on the floor to the left of the stage with a large pack of ice on his back.

"Kakashi-sensei?" she said sounding very confused. The poor man give them a thumbs up for good luck, but his exhaustion made him drop the arm.

Naruto was next to reach the stage with a complaint. "What exactly are we supposed to play? It's not like we have any songs of our own!"

"Kid," the man said, sounding annoyed. "This is amateur night. No one cares if you perform someone else's stuff so long as you don't suck when you're doing it. Got it?"

Next came Hinata with a concern. "What about me? I'm not even part of the band."

"Look!" the man shouted, finally reaching his limit. "The five of you have been scheduled to play so the five of you are going to play! Now stop with the questions and start setting up before this crowd gets violent."

Defeated, the four original band members began setting up while Hinata fidgeted onstage, trying very hard not to look at the audience. Naruto quickly hooked up his guitar to the amplifier, as did Sasuke and Shino. Sakura was having the greatest deal of trouble getting her kit exactly the way she wanted it. This gave Naruto the time he needed to calm Hinata down.

"You okay Hinata-chan?" he asked, though he could clearly see that she was far from okay. She looked like she was about to start crying and that was something Naruto was not prepared to handle. Sure he had chastised others for crying over selfish reasons, but Hinata was different. Hinata was doing the best she could to be strong for them and was failing miserably. He'd never seen anyone as scared as she was right now and he had seen the faces of many people as they were about to die. He couldn't really blame her either. If he had the choice, he'd be on the receiving end of a chidori right now.

"I'm f-fine Naruto-k-kun," she managed to say, sounding just the opposite. She turned to adjust the microphone stand but caught sight of the audience. She quickly turned away and started panting, as if she had just challenged Lee to a Race and won.

"Hinata, it's alright to be afraid. All of us are scared right now and we're trying to deal. I understand that this is a lot harder for you to handle than the rest of us. We knew that sooner or later we were going to have to play in front of a crowd like this. It's unfair that you got thrown into this the way you did, but there's nothing we can do about it right now. After all, you aren't the type of person to abandon your friends. Hinata, you've been supporting us since this whole thing started. It's only been one week, but you are just as much a part of this band as any one of us."

"I'm so scared," she said, a tear managing to escape down her cheek. "What if I mess up and the laugh at me? What if they boo us off the stage because of me? I don't think I could live with myself if that happened."

"Are you kidding Hinata? You have nothing to worry about. We heard you when those bastards played that joke before and you were amazing. Even Sasuke, as stubborn a bastard as he is, admits that you have more talent than he does." It was obvious that this approach was only putting more pressure on Hinata so Naruto decided to try something different. "Hinata, close your eyes."

"W-What?"

"Just close your eyes." When she had done so, he placed his hands on her shoulders and whispered in her ear. "I want you to picture something you want. You don't have to tell me, but picture it in your head. Now, imagine that whatever it is you're thinking of can be yours, and all you have to do is try. There are no crowds, no one to judge you, no one to laugh at you. It's just you and that thing you want more than anything in the world." He started to rub her shoulders in encouragement. "Can you do that?"

She opened her mouth to speak. "I—"

"Hey you!" came a shout from an audience member sitting in the back. "Yeah you! The dummy with the blond hair! Quite feeling up your girlfriend and play something already!"

Naruto was just about to shout back when someone unexpected beat him to the punch. "Shut the hell up you jackass!" Hinata shouted, angry that her moment with Naruto had just come to a screeching halt. "We'll play when we're good and goddamn ready to play!"

"What'd you just say to me you little bitch!"

Much to everyone's surprise, Hinata took the insult like a pro and returned quickly. "You heard me you hairy, ball-less, loud mouth son of a pig! SHUT! THE! HELL! UP! If I hear one more word come out of that filthy mouth of yours, I'm going to let your date know what kind of a disappointment she's in for, should she decide to sleep with you. Get me?" There was an 'oooOOOooo' from the crowd, but the jerk didn't say another word. Hinata then turned to Naruto and planted a quick kiss on his cheek, turning bright pink afterwards. "I'll give it my best shot. Thank you."

"Your," Naruto began to blush when he realized that Hinata had just kissed him, "welcome?"

"Dobe," Sasuke called to Naruto, putting the guitar strap behind his neck and adjusting it for balance. "What do you want to do?"

"Alright," he said taking charge in a serious tone very unlike Naruto. "Does everyone remember the last song they played at the concert? You know, the one where Hinata made her debut? I know we've never played it before, but we're going to try to cover it. Sasuke, you're going to be on rhythm and lead vocals. Hinata, you'll be on chorus, but feel free to shadow Sasuke if you can. Sakura, I want you to speed up things for the verse and then slow it down on the chorus. We have two singers instead of Fallen Shinobi's one and they sing very differently. We may be playing one of their songs, but I want them to remember who we are when we leave. Everyone ready for this?"

"…" (Hell no.)

"What he said," replied Sasuke, "but I doubt that's going to stop us."

With that said, everyone took their places. Naruto closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. _Alright you stupid fox. Time to put your money where your mouth is. _Slowly, the red charka of the kyubi began to seep from the tattoos on his arms and Naruto felt himself change. Claws began to extend from his fingers, his eyes were now crimson red and looked demonic, and his hair grew in length. Then he started to play the opening solo and the room went silent.

Immediately, the crowd recognized it as part of the farewell ballad Fallen Shinobi had played, but at the same time it sounded like something new. To put it in words, where the hooded guitarist had sounded optimistic with a hint a pessimism, Naruto sounded pessimistic with a hint of optimism. If hope had a sound, Naruto was making it. Where Fallen Shinobi's sound was serious all the way through, Naruto would toy with it and make it sound cheerful for just an instant.

Then, magic happened. Compelled by Naruto's amazing introduction, Hinata found the courage to shadow Sasuke on lead vocals and instead of the two sounds clashing, the two seemed to resonate with one another, Sasuke's angry and almost violent style with Hinata's calm and peaceful sound. The yin and yang outcome was almost surreal to the listeners. Then, following Naruto's instructions, Sakura slowed things down for Hinata's chorus. As Naruto had hoped, by slowing down for the chorus it made Hinata the focal point as well as accentuating the haunting quality of Hinata's voice. By the final lines of the song, half the audience was in tears.

When the song finally ended, the audience was silent and motionless. It wasn't until an anonymous voice from the crowd screamed in approval that the rest finally decided to join in.

"I'm so glad that's finally over with," Hinata said, shaking with a smile on her face.

"Me too," Naruto replied. "Now let's get the hell out of here."

The Hotel Room The Next Morning…Very Early The Next Morning…

"Naruto," a stern voice said in a harsh whisper, trying to shake him awake. "Naruto, wake your ass up!"

It was no use. The boy was out like a light. It took a full bucket of cold, icy water to wake him up, and he was not happy about it. "Sasuke you bastard!" he shouted at who he thought was his assailant. "What the hell is your problem!" Sasuke had a slick grin on his face and pointed to a shy, white-eyed girl with a bucket in her hands and looking suspiciously nervous. "Hinata-chan," Naruto said sounding betrayed. "How could you?"

"Gomen Naruto-kun," she said, bowing several times in apology with the bucket still in hand. "It's just that we were going to get ramen for breakfast and we couldn't wake…"

"RAMEN FOR BREAKFAST!" he shouted, cutting Hinata's lengthy apology short.

"Would you shut up Naruto?" Sakura demanded in a whisper. "The adults are still asleep and we really don't want them tagging along."

"Sorry," he said with a foxy grin. "It's just that I've been traveling around with Jiraiya for so long, I haven't been able to get a decent bowel of ramen for breakfast in a long time. Man, the only thing that could make this day any better was if Sasuke was buying."

"Actually…" the raven haired Uchiha said, letting his voice trail off as he waved his wallet in the air. To Naruto, the clinking of coins in the black pouch was like listening to angels sing. "I think I'm still dreaming," he said with watery eyes. "Quick, somebody pinch me."

There was a loud smack and then a thud when Naruto fell to the ground unconscious. Sakura pressed a foot on his back with a bat in hand (where the hell it came from is beyond me), towering over him in triumph. "Okay, someone is going to have to drag his sorry ass and it aint gonna be me," she concluded, spitting to the side.

Ramen Stand Somewhere Near the Hotel…

"…" (Would you like another bowel of ramen for that second head you've got growing?)

"Hey waiter," the blond said, ignoring Shino's insult about the bump Sakura gave him. "Send over another bowel to the guy with the shades and shit-for-hair. Oh yeah, throw in a roach motel while you're at it."

So the two boys bickered at the counter while Sasuke cried over his thinning wallet. How Sakura managed to convince him to treat the five of them was beyond reason. The pink haired girl had a serious set of puppy dog eyes. One minute Sasuke was saying 'no' and the next he was forking over the money he had earned taking care of Orochimaru's pet snakes. Do you have any idea how long it takes to shovel giant snake shit? Hell, finding food to feed them as well as not getting swallowed was hard enough.

While Hinata was trying to play referee between Shino and Naruto, a hooded figure walked in and plopped himself on a stool next to Sasuke. The group fell silent when they realized it was Fallen Shinobi's mysterious guitarist. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to upset the stranger, they tried to ignore his presence.

Meanwhile On High…

"What's going on God man?" the devil asked curiously seeing that his nemesis was observing something from his seat of power looking very bored.

"Nothing, and that's exactly the problem," he said with a sigh. "I keep watching these kids hoping something interesting happens, but I've got nothing."

"Well," the devil said with a smile on his face, "if there's nothing interesting going on, make something interesting." He looked down to see what the gloomy deity was watching and his smile broadened. "Hey! Now there's an idea with potential. Take a look at that guy with the cloak and hood. Why don't we have a little competition, just you and me? First one to make him take off the damn thing wins. I'll even let you go first. What do you say?"

"Hmm," said the god on the throne. "This sounds strangely familiar, but I'm so bored….what the hey."

Back At The Ramen Stand…

"Hey you guy," an exhausted Naruto said, slumping onto the counter. "Is it just me or is it really hot for this early in the morning."

"As much as I'd like to call you a stupid dobe right now," an equally fatigued Sasuke muttered, "you're absolutely right…I think a part of me just died having said that."

And the temperature continued to increase. The only one in the ramen shop that seemed unaffected was the mysterious guitarist, who actually wrapped the article of clothing even tighter. The kids were starting to remove their cloths and their ramen began to boil and still the cloak and hood remained. Shino thought he saw a bird catch fire as it flew by and Hinata was fighting to keep Sakura from removing her bra even though she was tempted to do the same. Naruto and Sasuke were actually so tired from the heat that they failed to react.

Then the figure finally stood up. However, instead of taking off the cloak and hood, he walked over to the drape that separated the inside of the restaurant from the outside and pushed it aside. Everyone caught by the light of the sun, received an instant tan. The hooded guitarist then turned to face the sun and proceeded to flip it off in defiance. When he was satisfied, he dropped the drape back down and returned to his seat.

Back In the Clouds…

"Ha!" Satan laughed. "Bet you didn't see that one coming. Alright then, let's see what the devil has up his sleeve. Just remember. If I win, you have to take William Hung when he dies and let him join the choir. And none of that back row lip singing either."

Ramen Stand Again…

Relieved that the temperature was finally coming down, the crew decided to finish their meals and get the hell out of their before the ice age decided to rear its ugly head. Sasuke picked up the pepper shaker and began seasoning it to taste. One shake. Two shakes. Right as he forced the shaker down for a third, an ominous wind blew in from nowhere and sent the pepper flakes flying right into Sasuke's face.

"Ah…Ah…Ah…" Everyone looked expectedly at Sasuke, but just when they thought nothing was going to happen, something did.

"AAAHHH-TCHOOOO!" It was the mother of all sneezes and the Uchiha managed to turn to his left, towards the mysterious stranger, just as a mix of snot and gokakyou flames flew from his nose. There was 'ew' and 'huh' and 'oh, if only I had got that on film' heard from everyone in the restaurant, but that all turned to panic when they noticed that the cloaked man had caught on fire. Immediately, he stopped, dropped, and rolled around, but apparently snot flames are hard to rub out.

Not having any other option, the cloaked guitarist was forced to throw off his precious covering. A loud, thunderous 'Son of a Bitch!' rang clearly throughout the world, but nothing was as shocking as the person who stood before them at that moment. Confusion overcame the room and then recognition dawned on Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.

"Holy Shit!" they cried out as one. "It's—"

End For Now….Evil, aren't I?


	12. Meeting: Fallen Shinobi has a Plan

Apologies all around! I realize that I let too much time go by even though I ended on such a terrible cliffhanger. I hope you can forgive me, but if not, to hell with you. I've been forced to endure so much reading my head is about to pop. I've had to read _Guy Mannering_ so closely that I fear my writing may sound like Scott's (though that may not be a bad thing…the book was pretty good if you can get past the Scottish dialect). But enough of my complaints.

I also apologize for the grammatical raping on my part in this chapter. I really should get a beta but I have serious commitment issues.

Read, enjoy, and review damnit!

Meeting: Fallen Shinobi has a Plan

"It can't be!" cried the pink haired kunoichi.

"No way!" shouted a surprised Naruto.

"You're still alive!" demanded a rather confused Uchiha.

The now revealed guitarist was exceedingly annoyed that these children, strangers at that, somehow knew the identity that had been so hard to keep secret for all those years since Fallen Shinobi had left the village. "Obviously it can be!" came the seething guitarist's cry as Sakura was knocked to the ground with a blow to her stomach. "Yes way!" came the second fuming announcement as Naruto fell to his knees clutching his manhood. "And what the hell do YOU think!" she demanded of the presumptuous sharingan-user, trying desperately to choke the life out of him. However Sasuke, by means of the bond-from-hell, was already in enough pain after Sakura was assaulted.

Shino and Hinata just watched, knowing that as shinobi from the Hidden Leaf it was their duty to aid their comrades but also had enough sense to realize that doing so would be suicide. Finally, Hinata summoned up enough courage to confront the out of control rocker. Well, as much as anyone could expect from a death-fearing Hyuga Hinata.

"Ano," she said, hiding behind a petrified Shino, "i-if it isn't t-to much tr-trouble, could you m-maybe not hurt my friends anymore until th-they can tell us who you are," the cold death stare she received would have been enough to make any man wet himself. Luckily, Hinata had already relieved herself in a bathroom just moments before. "That is, if you want to," she squeaked, fearing their antagonizer might eat her.

Fortunately, the guitarist had vented enough to acquiesce to her plea and the three former members of team seven fought to regain their composure. Naruto, who was having the most difficulty with his injury, fought hard not to use a very specific epithet for the beast that had wronged him.

"…" (So who is it already!)

"It's…" came the unfinished sentence of Sakura.

"…from…crappy…picture…" came the assist from Naruto.

"…what the dobe said…" mumbled Sasuke, not able to think straight.

"..." (Would you retards just spit it out already!)

"RIN-SAMA!" the three cried in unison. Well, that's what Sasuke and Sakura shouted. Naruto whispered more along the lines of 'crazy bitch.'

Suffice it to say that said woman was a little shocked to see that the teens she had just pounded into the ground actually knew who she was and were not merely bluffing. Hinata and Shino were still, very much, confused.

"Who?"

"She's one of Kakashi-sensei's old teammates," Sakura said as she got back on her feet with the help of a barstool. Sasuke did the same while Naruto remained twitching on the ground begging for ice. "I have a picture Kakashi-sensei gave me when I asked what his team was like. Here," she said, handing the photo to Hinata.

The shy girl carefully examined the picture. Sure enough, this was indeed Kakashi's team from when he was a kid and right in the bottom center of the image was a smiling girl with brown hair, red marks on her face, and a large. Despite the current woman's angry disposition, the resemblance was obvious. She was, however, a child no longer. Her hairstyle was pretty much the same but accentuated with a long tail that trailed down the small of her back. Her curves were to die for and her chest, though far from Tsunade-class, was well developed.

"What the hell are you looking at?" came the abrupt interrogation, causing Hinata to avert her eyes. With Hinata's attention no longer on the photo, the no-longer-mysterious guitarist snatched the photo from her possession and eyed it herself. "Well, haven't seen this old thing in a long time," she said with a hint of nostalgia in her voice. "So your Kakashi's new team. Tell me, how is the jack-ass?"

Since their was no malice in her tone of voice, the group took 'jack-ass' as her term of endearment for her old teammate and let out sighs of relief. Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto filled her in on their team's beginning, their many missions and accomplishments, how Kakashi-sensei was never on time for anything, and the like. Naruto was about to go into the details of Sasuke's betrayal, but his two teammates quickly shut him up for fear that it might cause more trouble than they wanted. This, however, did not go unnoticed by Rin. Still, she let it slide.

Then they went into the details of Akatsuki's challenge, starting a band, and their concert experience. Hinata, with little restraint, began blushing tremendously when they brought up the prank, saying that she wasn't angry anymore about it. Rin, on the other hand, started bawling over. "Oh my God! That was you!"

The shy Hinata simply bowed her head and let out an almost inaudible 'hai.'

"What the hell are you so embarrassed about. I know those guys can be assholes at times but they honestly thought they were doing you and everyone else a favor by letting you have your moment. Damn, I haven't heard something that soulful in years." She thought to herself for a moment when an idea struck her. "Tell you guys what. I'm going to take you to see the rest of the guys and then we can try to come up with a way to make it all up to you."

"Really!" Hinata shouted with fanatic enthusiasm, forgetting her timid disposition. "We'd love that!"

"…" (Shouldn't we go back to the hotel and get Anko-sama and that other chick? Wait, did I just suggest that? Fuck, let's get the hell out of here.)

Up On High…

'_She Bangs, She bangs!' _came the off-key ejaculation of one courageous, yet goofy Asian UCLA student.

"SATAN YOU DAMNED FALLEN SON OF A MONKEY'S DECREPID UNCLE!"

Meanwhile, In Some Dark, Dank Wine Cellar…

Shino and Hinata, to say the least, were freaking out. Being the teammates of a very deranged dog boy had its ups and downs. For example, how many people do you know would be able to lead you to the guy who let his dog take a crap on your lawn just by smelling the evidence? Who else would lack enough dignity relieve themselves on the poor bastard after Shino had thoroughly exacted his vengeance? And who else would help you burry a body with such glee? So yes, Kiba as a teammate had his good qualities.

However, the flea-bitten jack ass also had a love for horror flicks and would demand that his two companions join him in viewing them. Shino and Hinata had seen it all, from werewolves to vampires, from aliens to sea monsters, to Rock Lee's karaoke videos. Their eyes had witnessed things few could handle and their ears had heard noises few would dare wish to hear again. During these nightlong escapades in front of a television in a dark room, while Hinata and Shino prayed to every god they were familiar with for the redemption of their souls, Kiba just sat with a bowl of popcorn laughing his ass off.

So here they were, in a dark and gloomy cellar under the very bar they had performed on only hours before realizing how similar the setting was to those they had seen in countless movies. One of them, however, was truly relevant to their situation and Hinata remembered it well. Five friends were led into a mysterious mansion by a woman who claimed to be a long lost acquaintance of their families, luring them with the promise of unimaginable wealth. However, as they began to unravel the dark secrets of the house, a friend disappeared. Then another disappeared, and then another until only an adventurous young man and a shy quiet girl were left.

It had been one of the few movies Hinata had actually believed she might like. The man manages to rescue the girl and himself from the evil mansion and its zombie-like minions, setting the place on fire in their escape. Oh, how the timid Hyuga heiress inched closer and closer to the screen as the lovely couple, whose similarity to Hinata's own love story is unquestionable, drew in for their long awaited kiss. How confused Hinata must have been when the brave young man instead sunk his teeth into the quiet girl's thin, tender neck, blood gushing out and covering the entire screen. That day, Shino and Kiba witnessed an even scarier site as Hinata proceeded to bash in every electronic gadget in Kiba's room. Hinata learned a valuable lesson: a true horror movie has no happy ending.

Back to their current situation, Rin lead the group to a moderately large round table in the middle of the room. She sat Shino next to Hinata, Hinata next to Naruto, Naruto next to Sakura, and Sakura next to her slave-for-a-month. Of course, none of them took their seats as they waited for the rest of the party (the band, not their guardians). Suddenly, an unfamiliar hand fell on Hinata's shoulder and the poor girl let out a deafening shriek. Leaping up from where she stood, she landed, with amazing grace I might add, in the surprised arms of Naruto. For a brief moment, Hinata felt that she had lived a full life and was prepared for the certain death that awaited her in this hellhole of a cellar.

There is a saying that idle hands are the devils play things. Those belonging to Naruto are no exception. Having this lovely lady in his arms, the poor blond kid simply stood there, speechless and immobile. Then he realized that there was something in his right hand. It was round and warm and soft. He wondered exactly how soft and without realizing what he was doing gave a gentle squeeze. This did not go unnoticed by the daydreaming girl in his arms and she was quickly snapped back to reality, whereas Naruto, courtesy of the girl whose rear he had so enjoyed, was slapped back to reality.

With her wits once again in her possession, Hinata took the time to see whose hand had been so friendly as to plant itself on her shoulder. When she recognized who it was, she quickly began apologizing at a rate few had seen her accomplish.

"So you're the girl that managed to steal the show away from us," came the very friendly voice of a man. Then this stranger did something no one unexpected. Taking his index finger and placing it under Hinata's chin, he brought her face up to look at his as he spoke with a devilish grin. "Hey, cute girls like you don't need to apologize to guys like me." The space between the two, almost nonexistent at this point, was enough to make Hinata faint. However, it was the smile and his words that did it and for the second time since they had entered the cellar, she found herself in Naruto's arms.

"Why the hell did you do that for you bastard!" exclaimed Naruto, doing his best to hold Hinata up.

"I think the real question," said the man running his hand through his hair in a suave manner, "is why you haven't been doing it for her. And before you go around accusing me of anything indecent, I'd be careful where you let your hands roam." He then pointed at where Naruto's hands had positioned themselves at that moment. Naruto, flushed with embarrassment, almost dropped the girl. Fortunately, he managed to move them right before Hinata woke up. (Note to Readers: _Love-Love?_ will mess with your head. For your sake and for the sake of your children, don't watch it. I beg of you!)

"Where am I? Who am I? Who Dey?" said the confused girl as she looked about the room. Her eyes went wide when they scanned the man that had made her faint moments before. "Are you…Serius-sama?"

"Please," he said, taking hold of her hand and looking deeply into her eyes. "Just call me Serius." With that, Hinata was once again out cold.

"WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT!" screamed ex-team 7 in unison. Hinata, not being able to sleep very peaceably with such screams, woke up.

"…" (I don't think I can take much more of this romantic crap.)

"Whatever makes you kids happy," he said with a sigh. "Please sit down. Rin went to get the rest of the guys and they should be here"—

"When we're good and damn ready to be here!" cried a drunken man who was using Rin as a makeshift crutch. Hinata instantly recognized him as Maiku, guitarist and musical apprentice to the Fourth.

"I told you we should have gotten him sooner. This lightweight can't hold liquor to save his life," said another stranger. That was probably their drummer Sye. That only left one person, but he was nowhere to be found.

'PSHHH,' came the spraying sound of an aerosol can.

"…" (What the hell do you think you're doing! Are you trying to kill me!)

"…" (What about you? You know damn well I'm allergic to insects, yet you brought those damn things with you in that sad excuse for a body. Are you trying to kill me!)

Shino was about to lunge at his estranged relative when he realized that Aburame Raid was holding the can inches from his face. "…" (Okay, okay. I give.)

Now that things had calmed down, the two bands sat together in silence. Serius, not being able to stand it any longer, was the first to speak. "So," he said clapping his hands together. "Rin's told us about your problems. What can we do for you guys?"

"Actually," Naruto said scratching his head, "we have no idea."

The members of Fallen Shinobi nearly fell out of their seats. "Well," Sye began with a laugh. "Let's start by having you tell us what you know about the Battle of the Bands."

"Nothing really," Sakura added. "Just that the competition starts in three weeks and we're registered to compete."

Maiku began rubbing his temples as an early onset of a hangover made its presence known to him. "Are you kids idiots or something? Yeah you have to compete in three weeks, but that's not the whole She-bang-a-bang. First you compete at a village level…then if you win, you go on to compete at the country level three days…then three days later comes the three day finale."

"Wait," Sasuke said, waving his hands to shut the man up. "You're telling me the first step is to be the losers in Leaf? Hell, we are the only talent there."

"Then you should have nothing to worry about," the drummer added. "Did you really not know how the battle worked?"

"All I heard was that my evil-as-sin brother was going to be competing. That was enough for me."

"And which band would he be a part of?" asked Serius who was eyeing Hinata and making the poor girl feel very uncomfortable.

"Aka-Sue-Me," Sasuke stated flatly. Their reaction, however, was not so simple. From their faces the five genin realized just how screwed they were. "Oh come on! They can't be that amazing."

"Kid," Rin began, lighting a cigarette and breathing in the smoke. "We saw you guys on stage before. You have everything any decent band could ask for: talent, heart, and determination. But you lack the one thing that THAT band has an overabundance of."

"And what's that?" asked Sakura.

"They've got the desire to be the best and the willingness to use their skills to their fullest. You guys may be good, but if your only goal in this is your friend's life or something like revenge, you guys are going to be obliterated long before you see Aka-Sue-Me in the finals."

"How the hell does something like that even make sense!" demanded a very pissed Naruto. "You'd think something or reasons for doing this would mean more than something as selfish fame and glory."

"What do you think rock is all about?" the guitarist with the hangover demanded. "You're going to be up against people playing their souls on a stage. These guys sweat music and bleed rock because this is the only thing that gives them a purpose in life, not to mention keeping food in their children's stomachs. Fame and glory are the only things they have to hope for. I've seen the faces of people who lose this competition. Losing is a fate worse than death. Who are you to think that your life is worth the hopes and dreams of others? Don't you have a goal in life you feel that strongly about or are you really just some punk kid with a big mouth!"

The words hit Naruto like one of Tsunade's fists. In what would have seemed like capitalizing on a bad situation had it been done by anyone else, Hinata took it upon herself to console the distraught Naruto. The demon in him told him to suck it up and stop being a wussy.

Feeling the tension in the room, Serius decided to lighten the mood in a most ingenious fashion. "Alright ladies and gentlemen! Time to get high off our asses!"

Brief note from the author on the consequences of drug use:

I realize that there might be some very impressionable readers scanning through this fic and I feel it is my responsibility to scare the shit…ahem…I mean enlighten you on the many downsides of chemical enlightenment. While pot and other interesting mild-altering substances, which your local dealer will be more than happy to describe for you, are unique ways to kill time, I hope you will remember these important fact:

Drugs cost money and the good stuff is more than you can afford. But we're not just talking about money to buy the dope. First you'll need to buy a full tank of gas. Afterall, if you're going to be driving with pot in your car, you best make sure you have enough gas to out drive the cops. Then you'll need money to bribe you're siblings from snitching to your parents. Sure you could kill them, but then you'd being going to jail for murder and nobody wants that. Finally, there's munchy-money. Yes, if your wallet is still full by the time you sit on your couch to toke up, it'll be empty by the time the Pizza Hut and Chinese Food guy arrive at your door. The chips alone that you devour would be enough to feed a small village keeping that all to yourself is just selfish, don't you think?

If someone came up to you claiming to have spoken with God, what would you do? You'd run screaming in the opposite direction in fear of the cult attempting to abduct you, that's what! So why should you give you're stoner friends any more credit. I once had a friend who told me that he learned the secrets of life one night while he was stoned off his rocker. When I asked if he could remember what said secrets were, he scratched his had and muttered, "dunno, I can't remember." So help me, I would have beat his stoner ass if I weren't such a nice guy. How do you learn the mysteries of life and not have the brains to write anything down. Some people say that they're smarter when they're high. I disagree! You're just too wasted to realize how stupid you are! But maybe I'm just upset at nit knowing the meaning of life.

Trips come in many different shapes and sized but it is important to be aware that what you're seeing is NOT REAL. Just because you're on acid, doesn't mean you'll survive if you throw yourself in front of a moving bus and if you're the kind of person who would do something like that (high or otherwise) have the foresight to chain yourself to a wall. Some trips are pleasant, I won't deny that. Hell, I have to give credit to a drug that can make staring at your hand for an hour entertaining. Unfortunately there are also bad trips. You could be falling off an endless cliff or feel paranoid that someone was out to get you. Someone like a pissed off midget…with a metal baseball bat. Do you have any idea how seeing a midget beat your professor with a bat during an exam will affect you? And I was just suffering from sleep deprivation (the midget thing was actually my prof's bad experience with acid)!

So remember kids: Drugs will fuck you up!

Back in the Cellar…

Naruto was busy staring at his hand as if t were the most interesting thing in existence. "Hey guys," he said without removing his stare from his hand. "Have you ever wondered why our hands have five fingers? I mean, I'm pretty sure we'd get along just fine with just three fingers and a thumb on each hand. And why do our feet have toes at all? Seriously, what purpose could they possibly serve?"

Hinata began giggling uncontrollably as she stared in wonder at the blond shinobi. "You're so cute when you're stupid," she said with a blush. Naruto didn't seem to hear her in the slightest.

"Your wasting you're time Hina-chan," chided Rin as she mimicked the blonde's careful examination of his digits. "The doofus wouldn't be able to realize your feelings if you tattooed them across your chest and flashed them at him. He's a lot like his sensei in that sense. What kind of asshole reads a book while I'm trying to seduce him? Hell, I'm pretty sure you could jump his bones and he wouldn't"—

Rin cut herself off when she noticed the shy girl proving herself to be bolder than she originally gave her credit for. "Young lady!" She shouted. "Put your shirt back on and get off the moron's lap!"

"Yeah Hinata," added Sakura. "Try to save _some _dignity."

"Sakura," the raven-haired Uchiha said as he looked her in the eye. "Why is your hand rubbing my thigh?"

"Eh heh heh heh," she giggled bashfully, removing her hand that was clearly acting of its own accord.

"Hey kid," said Sye the drummer to Sasuke. "Aren't you too old to be shying away from a woman's advances?"

"THAT," he said pointing to Sakura, "is not a woman. And aren't you a little too old to be getting high?"

"Kid, you're never too old to get high," Sye said with a sly smile taking a puff of the joint in his hand. "I mean, that's like saying you're too old to have sex."

_Damn straight, _said the voice in Sasuke's head. The genius may have avoided partaking of the main course, but no one within this circle could avoid the dreaded second-hand high. _Listen to the man Virgin-boy. You might learn something._ _She touched it! I can't believe she really touched it!_ _I also can't believe that that blonde friend of yours didn't even flinch when the cute girl with the nice rack was on top of him. He's about as hopeless as you!_

_To hell with you Voice, _Sasuke retorted. _No one compares me to that dobe!_

_Whatcha gonna do about it? Why don't you prove you're a step ahead of him?_

Under normal circumstances, Sasuke would have simply ignored the voice and gone about his life as usual. However, his manhood was being called into question and he refused to let Naruto and the voice inside his head get the best of him. Without even looking at her, Sasuke reached over and claimed the proof his counterpart demanded. Sasuke found himself amazed at how soft Sakura's breast was. Even the soft moan that escaped her mouth was pleasing to him, sending a shiver down his spine.

"Sa-su-ke," the pink-haired kunoichi growled. "WHAT the HELL do you think you're DOING!" Though Sakura had been pretty bold herself just moments before, it was another thing entirely for Sasuke to do what he just did without her permission (as everyone reading this chapter should remember. She slapped him so hard that everyone thought his head did a complete 360 around his neck. Instead, the poor boy fell out of his seat, a red handprint becoming visible on his cheek.

_That was so worth it, _was the only thought that echoed in Sasuke's head, though even I, as the author of this story, am unsure who said it.

"We-e-e-e-ll," spoke the bandleader, "since we all seem to be enjoying ourselves, maybe now's the best time for me to make my proposal."

"WHAT!" exclaimed Naruto. "You can't marry Hinata! You don't even know her that well!" Everyone who had the slightest connection to that young man felt a pang of shame deep within themselves.

"Not that kind of proposal," Serius said with a sigh. "Though that's not a bad idea. What do you say Hinata, want to spend the rest of your life with me?" The white eyed girl declined much faster than anyone expected, shaking her head back and forth as if her life depended on it. Naruto let out a sigh of relief, though he wasn't sure why. "Fair enough," Serius continued. "What I wanted to offer you was a chance to find yourselves as musicians."

"Huh?" the majority of the group said at the same time.

"We know that you guys have talent. We aren't trying to deny that in any way. However, if you can't find it in you to be seen as the best or at the very least to be recognized as musicians, you'll never have what it takes to get through the competition. Hinata," Serius now directed his full attention onto the withdrawn Hyuga. "You have a beautiful voice, but your natural disposition keeps you from using it to its full potential. You may have your own reasons for agreeing to take part in this," he glanced over at an unsuspecting Naruto for emphasis, "and although that allows you to sing at all, it won't be enough to shine in a Battle of the Bands. If you want to be of any help to your newfound band members, you're going to have to find your true strength."

"…" came the 'voice' of Aburame Raid. (Shino, if anyone in your band has an inkling of this drive to be the best, it would be you. Unfortunately, though you may be a decent bassist you lack true funk!)

"…" (Fuck you, dude)

"…" (I suppose I deserved that, but it doesn't change the fact that there is nothing that makes you unique…not even the shit on your head.)

"…" (I repeat: Fuck you, dude.)

"Sasuke!" Rin was next to speak. "I doubt you've thought about anything else besides getting revenge on your brother through this competition. Itachi, on the other hand, hasn't given you a second thought. Though the goal of his organization is to get possession of Naruto, he's in this to win, not simply to beat a younger sibling whom he can outdo in every single way. If you want to beat him, you're going to have to put aside this family feud for a while. If you can't, you're going to hinder your teammates."

"Hey you," spoke the drummer Sye. "Yeah you, the girl with the pink hair. I want to congratulate you on getting as far as you have with your new instrument for only a week of practice. You remind me a lot of myself when I was your age, minus the rack and cute backside. There's also one key thing that separates you and me. I _enjoy _the drums, where you resent it. Do you honestly think that a drum set is beneath you because you're a girl? I know a dozen or more women who would whoop your ass because of that. You need to have pride in what you do, otherwise there's no point in doing it at all."

With only one pair remaining, everyone looked to Naruto and Maiku. The experienced guitarist fought his high to remain serious as he stared down the blond ninja. It proved rather difficult as he kept seeing a midget with a bat behind the boy. "I like you kid," said the guitarist hoping no one would take it the wrong way. "You have that 'do or die' attitude you don't see much in this day and age. Reminds me of an old friend I haven't seen since you were born. He taught me everything I know about the guitar and about what it means to be a man. He was like a father to me, and I swear looking at you is like looking at his ghost." Maiku fought back tears with all his might. "But it's a shame that when I hear you play, as good as it may be, I know I'm not hearing you."

His last comment shocked the boy sober. Could he know his secret? Could he know that there was a demon inside of him and that he was helping him play? Would he go so far as to lay it all out in front of his friends?

"Don't worry kid," Maiku said in a reassuring tone, "I'm not going to say anything personal, though if you want your friends to trust you, you're going to have to tell them sooner or later. Anyways, as a guitarist, what you play has to come from you. Mimicking the greats with perfection will only get you so far, but it won't get you anywhere if you're being judged on originality. The best rockers, and the only kind that will be attending this competition, are going to see right through your sound if you rely too much on _others_. It took you three days to learn how to play proficiently, am I right?" Naruto nodded. "Then use the rest of this time to find your own sound."

There was a long silence as the younger members of the group let their words of advice sink in. After what seemed an eternity, Naruto broke the silence. "What was the Fourth's sound like?"

There was a light chuckle from each of the members of Fallen Shinobi, and it was Serius who answered his question. "His sound was…indescribable. About the only thing I can tell you is how it made us feel. Imagine you're lost in life, there's nothing left to live for, and you're moments away from ending it all. Then imagine a warm sensation that just wraps itself around you telling you not to give up. All of a sudden you feel like meaning has been put back into your life and you can pick yourself up again. That's how it was for me and because of it I've kept doing this for as long as I have."

"Then," spoke Hinata, "Why are you calling it quits?"

"I guess we just want to try other things," Serius said without any remorse in his voice. "I for one want what the old man had to give up for the sake of a village. I have a wife of my own and we've been talking a lot about starting a family. Things will be complicated enough as it is with my celebrity status, but if I keep up with touring and studio work I'll never get to spend any time with my children. At least, that's my story. We all have different reasons for, as you put it, calling it quits."

"So what exactly is it that you want us to do?"

"It's simple," he said with a calculating grin. "Without any word to your Hokage, we want you to each go on a separate journey. Where we send you is the place we think would be best for you as musicians to grow. We expect you to each learn as much as you can in one week and then return to your village. We'll meet you there to explain things for your Hokage."

"…" said Shino (If we are not allowed to inform our Hokage, how do you expect us to pay for such a quest? Are we supposed to just wing it?)

"…" replied his distant relative. (Haven't you heard? We're rich, bitch.)

"Like Raid said," continued Serius. "We will take care of everything. With our connections, it shouldn't be a problem for you to get there and find shelter. The only thing you need to worry about is improving yourselves."

"There's a little problem," Sasuke said with a slightly irritated tone. "That damn Hokage did some sort of jutsu so that I can't leave this crazy chick's side. How does that fit into your little plan?"

Rin had a small laugh to herself as she explained that particular detail. "We noticed you were unusually close to her for someone as big a prude as you are. So you'll of course be traveling buddies. The distance between your destinations isn't that far so you should have no problem. Just spend half the time in one place and then quickly jump over to the next location. Simple, ne?"

Everything seemed to be taken care of so there was only one thing left to ask. Leave it to Naruto to be the first to speak up.

"When do we start?" he asked with a confident grin.

Fallen Shinobi returned the smile and in one voice declared, "Right now." The final thoughts on everyone's mind was how corny that came out.


	13. Of Bongos and Sex Kittens

It's as if I think one really long chapter makes up for the ridiculously long wait you all had to endure. Aside from the grammatical errors I'm known for, I think this chapter came out nicely with a little bit of everything. Let's see: Sex, violence, and Spanish. Yup, I have everything. The song in Spanish is Cancion de Mariachi from the Desperado movie. If you are expecting a translation for the Spanish, I'm sorry to say there won't be any. If Sasuke and Sakura can't understand, then it's only fair that my readers share their pain (unless of course you're bilingual). Besides, my Spanish sucks anyways. Just know that I'm not only butchering one language, but two.

I think this chapter is the first one to actually warrant the M rating. Keep that in mind as you read and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. Sorry that I couldn't see the look on your faces! Just kidding. But seriously, I'm just trying to have fun with this. For the record the long pause was caused when I realized how hard it was for a guy like me to describe sound. My Music professor couldn't do a good job of it and he has a freakin' PhD in it. Just plug in you're own music to fill in the gaps.

For the record, I don't own jack. This includes Naruto, Desperado (both the medium and the rights), the actors whose names I ripped off (though if you don't catch the reference there really wasn't any point in me adding this), or the rights to procreation (that belongs to creationists). Read, Review and Enjoy in whichever order you want. But I strongly encourage reviewing.

Of Bongos and Sex Kittens

Shino wandered through the forest, doing his best to follow the directions his exiled Uncle Raid had given him. He was failing miserably as the so-called 'map,' was nothing more than an arrow scribbled on a piece of paper. What the hell! To begin with, the poor Aburame clan member had walked in a circle for three hours before passing out from dizziness (the arrow had been pointing to the left). When he came to and picked the slip of paper off the floor, the arrow had magically changed direction. He was not sure exactly how long he had been walking and the denseness of the trees above him made it difficult to tell whether it was day or night. Besides, this alone time gave him the opportunity he needed to think.

Shino had only joined this band so that he could jam. If he knew that his band mates would consist of an idiot, an eternally PMSing she-devil, a self centered asshole, and his bipolar teammate, Shino would have traded in his bass for a pair ballet slippers. Instead, the number of names on Shino's People-To-Kill list was growing day after day. He patted his head where his once glorious fro once adorned itself only to cringe when he felt the tangles of dreads. How dare that sadistic whore take away the one thing he had any joy in? Then there was Naruto, the ever moronic blond who could not for the life of him figure out that Hinata, his usually sweet and innocent teammate, who deserved everything that she wanted simply because she was Hinata, had a crush on him. He and Kiba had been through a lot trying to console the frustrated teenage girl and as a result, Shino held a great deal of resentment for the baka.

A shy girl with an unrequited crush going through her cycle is a pain in the ass to deal with.

A number of other genin had managed to sneak their way into bug-boy's bad side. Chouji had tried stealing some of Shino's friends in an attempt to make himself chocolate covered insects, Neji and Sasuke were jack-asses and wouldn't let Shino into their club, Lee was a pansy ass pain in the ass, Ten-Ten wouldn't go out with him, and who didn't want to kill Ino? However, his hate for all these irritating flytraps were dwarfed in comparison to the seething enmity he harbored for that disgrace of an uncle of his. Where the hell was he supposed to be going!

Thinking of all the people that made his life hard to bear only strengthened his annoyance at the thick foliage around him. He took out a kunai and began hacking at the shrubs and ferns, wondering where he was heading and wishing he had brought a machete instead. He increased his pace, wanting to get out of the forest as soon as possible, when he realized how 'not' solid the ground was. He looked down and saw that there was in fact no ground. He had just walked over a cliff and was defying the most basic law of gravity: 'Shit falls down.' But this is a fanfic about an anime, one about ninja's for crying out loud. Unfortunately, it seemed that coming to the realization about how fucked he was made everything snap back into its natural order. As Shino fell, he caught sight of a vine that was conveniently hanging off the edge of the cliff and grabbed it before it was out of reach.

If Shino survived and ever saw Raid again, he was so going to shove his foot up that asshole's ass. Wait, what?

Twenty Miles West of the Dingy Bar…

Sakura and her obedient pet Sasuke were entering the village Sye and Rin had directed them to. It seemed pretty peaceful and ordinary and not a place where they would be able to learn anything useful to help them beat Aka-Sue-Me's. Sasuke was muttering something about wishing he had just stayed hidden in Orochimaru's underground Neverland….I mean hideout. Sakura on the other hand seemed to be enjoying herself as she was experiencing one of those rare occasions when her hormones and violence fetish were not in control of her actions. From time to time, Sasuke had caught her looking at him to which she would quickly turn away blushing. Mistaking her embarrassment for annoyance, Sasuke quickly brought a hand over his precious family jewels for fear that she might smash them into dust out of retribution.

Their first stop, being as Sasuke was told to wait for nightfall and it was still midday, was Sakura's destination. They stopped in front of a shabby-looking two story building that seemed to be on the verge of crumbling down and Sakura took out the small scroll with their instructions.

"Head twenty miles west until you reach a village" – check

"Walk to the third intersection and take a right" – check

"Do two somersaults and the electric slide" – check

"Slap Sasuke upside the head for taking things so literally" – check…check…check…check

"Walk up to the fifth building on the left. If it looks like only hobos would live there then you are where you need to be. There should be a sign that says Matt's House of Drums just in case."

Sasuke could not see a sign anywhere on the building but noticed a large rectangular sheet of metal laying flat on the ground, with a pair of legs sticking out from under it. He lifted the sign in order to see if the poor bastard was still alive but quickly flung it back down, covering his noise and trying desperately not to hurl from the stench. He told Sakura that it was the right place and the guy smelled like he had died a few days ago. He walked much closer to Sakura than he had been previously, making the pink haired girl feel like a million bucks. Little did she know that Sasuke was doing his best to exchange the smell of rotting flesh with the less revolting scent of doggy shampoo.

Many details caught them by surprise when they entered the building. Where on the outside the building had looked like a rundown shack, the inside looked like a mansion owned by the country's wealthiest snob. The mahogany floor was polished so well that the two shinobi could see their reflections, making Sasuke's libido wish Sakura was still donning her trademark skirt. There was an incredible amount of space and all around them were glass cases with an assortment of different types of drums.

But the most shocking sight was what the two of them saw in the center of everything with a spotlight shining directly over it: A naked man sitting cross-legged on the floor with a bongo drum in his lap. Sasuke, who had seen his entire clan dead with their faces in the dirt, had that he had seen the last of things that could scare him. Apparently he was wrong. However, the high pitched shriek that pierced the room was not his own. Sakura was freaking out.

What happened next was even more surprising than the naked man sitting on the floor with a bongo. In the midst of her screaming, Sakura felt Sasuke place a warm hand on the back of her head, which brought her into what she saw as a passionate embrace with her face embedded in Sasuke's chest to protect her from the disturbing sight. What Sasuke had been trying to do was smother the source of the infernal sound that threatened to make his head explode.

The man on the floor took a finger and violently tried to clear his ear canal. He was a moderately built middle age man with pale skin, light brown hair, and a rugged appearance. Most women would have found him attractive, but let's just say he wasn't Sakura's type. He got up to see if the girl needed some medical, or perhaps psychological, help but was politely stopped by the raven haired boy.

"Would you put some goddamned pants on for fuck's sake!"

It was as if the boy's words had been a bite off the fruit that fell from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (though you have to wonder why God in all his wisdom would make such a freakishly long name for a plant) because the manly instantly became aware of his lack of dress. He changed direction and grabbed a silk robe fit for a king which had been hanging on coat rack behind him. He draped it over his frame before heading back to the scarred teenagers.

"I apologize for my state of undress. I wasn't expecting company." His accent sounded like nothing either had ever heard before. After having been stoned the night before, they suspected that he was probably high right now. "I'm Makanohe Mato. Just call me Matt." (AN: Thank you if you get the reference)

There was a muffled sound from Sasuke's chest so the boy decided it would be wise to give the girl some air lest he suffocate with her. She gasped violently but did not divert her eyes from Sasuke until he reassured her that the naked man was no longer naked.

"Some of the band members of Fallen Shinobi sent us here to learn about what it takes to a make a good rock and roll band," Sakura said in uncharacteristic unease.

"Well," the man said scratching his head, "if you want to be good you're in the wrong place. Now if you want to fucking rock, I'm at your service." He walked over to the couple and eyed them both. When he was done with his examination he extended an open hand to Sakura. "You most be the hopeful drummer. It's a pleasure to meet you Miss…"

Sakura was bewildered that the man had instantly approached her as being the drummer. When she realized that Matt was still waiting on her to introduce herself, she snapped out of her daze and shook his hand. "Sakura. How did you know that I was the drummer? Wouldn't you have assumed the drummer would be a guy?"

"Lady, I play the bongos naked. Of course I know a drummer when I see one and this scrawny dude," he turned to Sasuke, "no offense," turned back to Sakura, "is no drummer."

"Damn straight," muttered the offended boy.

"And if Fallen Shinobi sent you then I would 'assume' they gave you proof. I'm not a cheap tutor but I'd do anything for those cats." For a moment he drifted off to his own fantasies and unconsciously added, "And oh the things I would do to that fine guitarist."

"Who, Maiku?" asked the bewildered Sasuke, disturbed at the mental image of the two older men having a naked jam session together.

"No you fruity little boy, I'm talking about that hot chick that's always wearing a robe. From the moment she walked through those doors I knew she was a looker even if she looked like the Grim Reaper. It's a damn shame I'm the only one who can see through the threads to the inner beauty. Wait, I take that back. That god of men who writes the Ichi Ichi series most definitely has the sight to see what I do."

Sasuke and Sakura groaned at the mention of their dimwitted partner's perverted mentor. The idea that he could see something they could not made them feel like insignificant peons (hehehe…pee ons). But they had more important things to take care of before the sun went down.

"So what exactly can you teach me to make me better at playing drums?"

"What can I teach you?" he asked, somewhat stunned by the girl's question. "Jack shit. What I can do is give you the passion you need to figure it out for yourself and that's all that really matters."

Sakura was speechless that this so-called teacher had no intention of teaching her anything and found herself furious at Sye for wasting her time sending her here. She turned around to leave and Sasuke was inclined to join her of his own free will. However, she stopped when she heard the sound of a beating drum coming from behind her. It sounded very little like the drum kit she had grown accustomed to playing with and she found the sensation of listening to it to be divine, like a gift from God.

In Heaven…

"Your welcome," came the Almighty voice from the sky.

Back to Reality…

It was extremely fast paced but the rhythm was there, making her want to dance a tribal ninja dance. She wondered why Sasuke was looking at her funny when she realized that little by little she was beginning to move to the beat, first as nothing more than a nod of the head, then a swaying of the hips, and finally the bending of the knees. The music had her.

Matt ended his random bongo play with a forceful slap midway between the rim and the center of the drum and had a sly grin on his face. "Where do you think you're going little lady?"

"You have my attention."

"Why thank you," he said with a bow. "Now about that proof of who sent you." He unfolded the scroll Sakura handed to him and read his portion of it, nodding in affirmation to the instruction Sye had left him in order to better help him help her. "It seems you, little missy, resent playing drums because you're a girl. Is that right?" Insert Sakura nodding. "Well shoot, what kind of an excuse is that. Girls make the best kind of drummers. Hiding behind a large set of drums gives us dudes a chance to picture you sitting there naked and the fact is that since not many ladies play the drums, you're a much appreciated commodity."

"How flattering," she said sarcastically.

"Here's what we'll do. Since you two lovebirds are attached at the hip and have different things to accomplish in less than a week, you'll start with me at noon and then at nightfall you'll do you're little shindig across the street. Now, as for my tutelage, I won't be letting you touch a drumstick until you learn to appreciate feeling the rhythm with you're body. In other words, you'll start off playing the bongo, the conga drum, and some box drums with your hands before we move on.

"However, I must warn you that once you get the feel for it, it will be extremely hard to want to drum with anything else. As I always say, 'Once you play bongo, you can't go wrong-o.' Do we have a deal?"

"Deal," she returned.

"Alright," he said slapping his hands together with an eager grin. "You'll be playing the bongo naked in no time."

At that moment, Sasuke fainted.

Wherever The Hell Shino Is…

Although it had taken a considerable amount of effort, Shino had finally made it out of the blasted forest. His clothes were tattered and dirty, there were twigs in his dreads, and the blisters on his feet now had blisters of their own. He was dehydrated and hungry and, crawling on his hands and knees, proceeded to look for any signs of life. After a few minutes of aimless crawling, he happened upon a modest home. Not able to stand, lift his hand, or speak, he inched his way to the foot of the door and knocked on it with his head. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

What Shino did not realize was that banging you head against something as solid as, oh I don't know, _a freaking door,_ might cause you to lose consciousness. Shino blacked out and when he woke up he was on a very comfortable bed in a dark room. Okay the room was pretty bright, but it was hard to tell since he was still wearing his trademark shades. His only complaint was how chilly the room seemed, but then that would only be natural as he was no longer wearing anything.

"!" (Where the fuck did my clothes go!)

"Oh, you're awake," said a very feminine voice from another room. "If you're wondering about your clothes, I'm having them washed. You were filthy when you came in here so you should probably take a bath. A relative of yours came by a few hours ago and dropped off a change of clothes for you though I have no idea how he knew you'd end up here."

"…" (Really? I've been walking for half a fucking day! How'd he get here so fast?)

"Half a day? He said he was stopping by from the nearby concert village. It's just over this hill."

Shino could not believe what she had just revealed to him. Not caring about his own nudity, he rushed out of the house to confirm if what she said was true. When he saw the lights of several bars and hotels, he dropped to his knees and raised his fists to the heavens, swearing that he would have his vengeance. When he was done making a spectacle of himself, he got up and headed back inside but was greeted by a rather red-faced girl. A very hot red-faced girl. Well, not so much a girl as a very well-endowed twenty year old, with short black hair and a single streak of purple.

"I-I-I-I,' she stammered as she looked away in embarrassment, though that did not stop her from taken a few more last chance glances. "I got the bath ready for you. Feel free to make yourself at home." With that she quickly retreated inside. It all happened so fast that Shino didn't get a chance to react to being seen naked, and by the hottest chick he had ever seen no less. Then he looked down and began shouting obscenities at what he saw. Like I said before, it was pretty damn cold.

He went inside, grabbed the extra set of clothes, and headed for the bath. The warm water was soothing and he was equally pleased that his manhood was regaining its former glory. He knew he would eventually have to apologize to his hostess for his display, but for now all he wanted to do was enjoy this one moment of relaxation. However, all good things come to an end and even Shino knew when to call it quits. The last thing he needed was a body full of drowned insects.

He dried himself off and dressed himself in the change of clothes his bastard relative left him. It was nothing more than a simple t-shirt and black sweatpants. Raid didn't even have enough courtesy to leave him a pair of boxers or anything. He let out a silent sigh and opened the door. Not knowing where he should go, he returned to the room he had woken up in, but his jaw hit the floor when he saw what was waiting for him.

The young woman who had graciously dragged him into her home, undressed him, washed his clothes, and prepared a bath for him was now laying sideways on the bed wearing nothing more than a very sexy see-through purple nighty. She started giggling, which confused the hell out of Shino until he realized that he his little buddy had pitched a tent. His temptress gave him a very innocent smile and motioned for him to sit next to her.

Shino hesitated. He was a virgin after all and although he could handle killer puppets, guys shooting air out of their hands, and a psycho hokage, a half naked woman with the intention of rocking his world was scary. It was only for a moment, however, as his third leg convinced the other two to walk over to the girl and sit down on the bed.

"Well," she started nervously, "you're not very tall and you're pretty pale."

"…" (What the fuck?)

"But you look like you can pass for the strong silent type," she added with a pretty smile. It quickly vanished as she became nervous about what she was about to do. "Look, I haven't had any since my boyfriend and I broke up and this is an itch that demands scratching. But you look pretty young so I don't want to force you into anything you're not ready for."

Shino had a lot to think about and that fact alone made him realize what a complete dork he was. This was free sex and he has to think about it? Most people would have been in and out in less than ten seconds, completely satisfied with themselves, and Shino was actually thinking. Well, you can't teach a dull dog good tricks. Shino decided to find out more about her before he went through with anything. If he was okay with everything he heard, he'd let her have her way with him until the sun rose.

"…" (Why did you and your boyfriend break up?)

"That's a little personal, don't you think?"

"…" (So is what you we're about to do. I just want to know a little bit more about you. You don't have to tell me if you feel uncomfortable.)

"It's not a very pretty story for me, but if it helps you feel easier about this I'll tell you. I run a booth in the village and I met singer of one of the bands. He was cute but it was his persistence and charm that one me over. He'd send me roses, sing me love songs outside my window, and flattered me till I blushed. I was head over heels for him and I thought he felt the same for me. That's why it only took me a few months before I felt comfortable enough to…you know. I'll probably remember that night for as long as I live. He was my first and only and he told me I was his. What a crock of shit.

"We had been dating for a couple of years, but he never proposed to me. I was always the one making excuses for him. 'He's too busy with touring,' or 'Maybe it's still too soon.' Little by little he stopped doing all the things I loved about him. No more roses showed up at my stand, no more love songs to keep my up at night, and although the sex was as good as it ever was, that's all he wanted when he came by my door. Then one day a woman came knocking and when I opened the door to see who it was, she attacked me. I had to defend myself for what seemed like an eternity before she gave me even the slightest hint of why she was doing it.

"That's when I learned that the love of my life had been living another life behind my back. The woman was the mother of two of his children and had found out about his life with me when a friend of hers saw him kissing me at my booth. I did my best to reassure her that I had no idea that he had a family of his own and that if I had, it never would have gone as far as it did. I cried more at that moment than on the day both my parents had died and I had loved them deeply.

The next time I saw him, I lashed out at him as badly as the woman had done to me. I broke his jaw, his arm, and I'm pretty sure he lost the ability to bear children after leaving my doors. He made several attempts to patch things up with me but I wasn't biting. That was the end of us."

"…" (How long ago did this happen?)

"Two years ago."

"!" (Two years!)

"I don't know," she said, sounding very frustrated. She flung herself backwards onto the bad and began staring at the ceiling. "I guess it was hard for me to trust someone again after being lied to like that. I felt so used, but I can't suppress this urge anymore." She turned to Shino with a pleading look in her eyes and she looked as if she were on the verge of tears. "I don't mean to seem this emotionally fucked up but I really need this. I don't care if you're inexperienced or if it doesn't last long, just-"

She was abruptly cut off when Shino placed two fingers over her lips. He was looking down on her, eyes hidden behind dark glasses and an emotionless smile. When he saw that he had her full and undivided attention, he removed his hand from her lips. Taking both hands, he brought them two his temples and gently clasped his sunglasses in his fingers. He slowly took them off, only to reveal closed eyes as if to keep the girl in suspense. Then he opened his eyes and all seemed right with the world.

God's House…

"Quick, gather the choir of angels!" Jesus shouted at his messenger cherub. "I should be smelling freshly baked cookies! Where are my freshly baked cookies! And will someone signal a freakin' beam of holy light to illuminate the kid already! We're losing momentum here!"

Satan was abruptly woken up from his middle of the night nap and was he pissed. "What in hell, I mean heaven, is going on! Hey God, what's the big idea!"

"Nothing much," the Almighty deity returned. "Just my son's directorial debut."

Back to Shino, Shall We…

The girl was completely awestruck by Shino's eyes. Shino took this opportunity to stroke her cheek gently with one hand as he supported himself on the bed with the other. He lowered himself slowly, lest he startle her into a change of heart. They were almost nose to nose when Shino paused, signaling the girl to give some sort of sign that she would consent to what he intended. When she closed her eyes without pulling back, Shino made his move.

He gently brushed his lips against hers and then ran his tongue over his upper lip, licking both his lip and hers simultaneously. As eager as she was, Shino made sure that he was in control of the situation. She would have plenty of time later to take the reigns, but for now the kunai was in his holster. Finally, he committed himself fully to the kiss and found that he rather enjoyed the taste of her. The sounds coming from her were intoxicating and the sensation he received from her nails gently raking at his chest was electric. One of his own hands had slid down a shoulder strap of the night piece she wore and then gently began caressing her smooth skin. After a few minutes, he pulled away just enough for her to catch her breath.

"…" (My name is Aburame Shino. You never did tell me yours.)

"Mika," she said, flustered and out of breath. She was amazed that someone so young could make her feel the way she did at that moment. If she could read minds, she would have known that Shino was just as surprised with the way he was handling things. "Makoto Mika."

"…" (It's nice to meet you Mika-chan. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, but it would be an honor…no, it would be my pleasure to spend the night with you. However, I have one condition. If you ever need someone to help you with these 'urges,' I want you to come to me first. You're a beautiful and kind woman. I wouldn't want people getting the wrong idea about you simply because you have needs that demand your attention.)

Shino had opposing intentions when he presented her with his condition, but both were equally valid. The considerate side of Shino honestly wanted to comfort her by being the caring man in her life that her ex-boyfriend could not. His downright horny side still couldn't get over how hot she was and if he had a chance of making this more than just a one time deal, then damn it, he was going to take. Mika suspected that the latter might be his true intention, but something in his warm and gentle eyes told her that there was more to it than sex. She saw something she could trust in them and it removed all doubt from her mind.

"Okay. But the same goes for you. If you're going to have me commit to you, young as you are, then you have to have eyes only for me. I don't want another angry misses breaking down my door in the middle of the night wondering where her husband is."

"…" (Deal) he said. (But don't be so quick to sell me short. I may not have any experience, but I get the feeling that I might be a natural at this.)

He lowered himself once more and initiated a heated kiss and his hand gently toyed with one of her breasts, eliciting a purring sound and causing the lower half of her body to jerk up in excitement, pressing into him. He broke the kiss momentarily and looked at her with a sly smirk that would have made Sasuke jealous.

"You won't remember your own name when I'm done with you."

Castle in the Skies…

"Cue the Love Making music!"

Archangel Michael picks up a bass and begins a porno solo. Boom Chika Boom Chika Bow Wow. Sorry kids. Any more details and I'd have to post this on adult fan fiction. I'm sure the truly devoted sex connoisseurs can use their own imagination to fill in the details.

To The Village with the House of Drums…

Sakura and Sasuke made their way out of Matt's place, Sakura feeling like she had found her passion in life and Sasuke satisfied with Sakura being happy. Maybe now she wouldn't hit him as often. Their next stop was a concert club where they were supposed to listen to a certain band play. Sasuke had been given a sealed scroll to hand to the front man and had been instructed not to open it on penalty of death. That fact alone made Sasuke want to unseal it, just to spite Kakashi's old teammate.

The bar was the only bar in the village without a name and since it was directly across from Matt's house, they had no trouble finding it. It was surprisingly packed for being in such a small village. When they saw that several of the patrons were wearing shinobi headbands, they realized that people were commuting to see whatever it was the two teenagers were supposed to. It was a little irritating that Rin had not given them the name of the band, but she had said it would be easy to figure out who they were supposed to meet.

The music that filled the bar was not what either of them expected. The most noticeable feature that was new for them was that you could actually dance to it. Not the jumping up and down or the pushing and shoving kind they had experience at the concert, but really shook your money maker, move you feet and groove kind of music. Sakura instantly recognize they sound of a conga rhythm and heard keyboarding in place of a guitar. Sasuke asked what kind of music they were listening to, but was puzzled when the answer was Latin music.

What the hell was Latin music!

A few songs were played, some of them with vocalists singing a language neither of them knew and others with no real words except for loud melodic shouts. Sasuke was particularly interested in the one performer who simply played a very elaborate guitar solo while a woman danced in a colorful dress by tapping her feet in rapid succession and holding up the frills of her dress so that the audience could see the movement of her feet.

It wasn't long before they were replaced by a group of men clad in black suit-style clothing carrying an assortment of instruments: a couple of trumpets, a large guitar like instrument that Sasuke took for an acoustic bass, and a couple of classical guitars. Silver buttons were sown into the suits and underneath their jackets and each member wore a frilly white shirt, with the ends of the sleeves sticking out of the jacket sleeves. The most notable part of their outfits was the large, black bowl hats they wore.

The entire house erupted in cheers and whistling. Sasuke took this to be the proof that they were the band he had come to see but was skeptical about getting anything useful from it. That was when a young man, no older than the two teenagers, walked on stage wearing the same attire minus the hat carrying a guitar. His skin was tan and his hair was long enough to be tied into a tail. The woman, from the young girls to the old grandmas, burst into fawning.

"Buenas noches a todos," he said in the language that most of the music had been in, "y a las mujeres…" the young man winked at the audience and pursed his lips together in kissing fashion. One of the girls near the front fainted.

"Vamos a empezar," was the last thing he said before the house lights died down and the spotlight was placed at the front of the bar. The song began with the teenager playing a very simple intro melody, followed by the rest of the band joining in. The additional guitars played rhythm in perfect sync with one another, the bass line was fairly linear but was a nice accompaniment, while the trumpets acted a ornamentation the overall performance. When the young man began to sing, the music changed slightly but never lost its vigor.

'Soy un hombre muy honrado, Que me gusta lo mejor  
Las mujeres no me faltan, Ni al dinero, ni el amor.

'Jineteando en mi caballo, Por la sierra yo me voy  
Las estrellas y la luna, Ellas me dicen donde voy'

The chorus followed and the instrumentalists joined in on the vocals.

'Ay, ay, ay, ay  
Ay, ay, mi amor  
Ay, mi morena  
De mi corazon'

The next verse was sung the same as the first, but it mattered very little to Sasuke. He was extremely pissed that he couldn't understand the lyrics, just the way about ninety percent of my readers are. The young man was now walking amongst the crowd as if the thickness and the crowding meant nothing to him. All eyes were on him but no one kept too close as to interfere with his performance.

'Me gusta tocar guitarra, me gusta cantar el son  
Mariachi me acompana, quando canto my cancion.

'Me gustan tomar mis copas, aguardiente es lo mejor  
Tambien el tequilla blanca, con su sal le da sabor.'

'Ay, ay, ay, ay  
Ay, ay, mi amor  
Ay, mi morena  
De mi Corazon'

When the chorus ended, the singer had already jumped onto the bar counter and had begun what Sasuke and Sakura had thought to be his guitar solo. However, midway through the section the rest of the band played with him. It was similar to the way the other man had played as the woman had danced around him only this teenager was both musician and dancer. As he stomped his feet, many drinks bounced to the beat, many spilling over and when the section was ended, he kicked one man's glass mug and sent it smashing against a wall.

The music died down but the song was not over yet. The young performer jumped off the bar counter effortlessly and continued to know the rhythm of the song on the wood of his guitar and continued to sing more or less in acapella, with one of the onstage guitarists taking over his role on lead guitar temporarily. All eyes were on him and his eyes had caught sight of Sakura. He let the guitar hang off to his side, supported by the shoulder strap attached to it as he approached the pink haired girl and stared flirtingly into her eyes.

'Me gusta tocar guitarra, me gusta cantar el son  
Mariachi me acompana, quando canto my cancion.'

The quite portion of this final verse was done quietly and quickly, but Sakura was putty by the end of it. Once the acapella piece was through, the suave teenager immediately brought the guitar into his hands and continued to play as usual, still in the midst of the crowd.

'Me gustan tomar mis copas, aguardiente es lo mejor  
Tambien el tequilla blanca, con su sal le da sabor.'

'Ay, ay, ay, ay  
Ay, ay, mi amor  
Ay, mi morena  
De mi Corazon'

'Ay, ay, ay, ay  
Ay, ay, mi amor  
Ay, mi morena  
De mi Coraz-o-o-o-o-o-o-n'

The place burst into applause and the young man made his way back on stage to rejoin the other members of his band. He took a bow and motioned for everyone to quite down. They eagerly complied.

"Gracias, gracias! Ojalá que tuviéramos mas tiempo pero hay otras cosas que tengo que hacer. Estaremos aqui a lo mismo tiempo mañana. Hasta luego my bitches!" He then turned his attention to Sasuke and the flustered girl in his arms. "I'll see you two out back in ten minutes."

Out Back Ten Minutes Later…

The sound of 'Latin' music could be heard from the interior of the building even outside, but Sasuke endured it. Sakura was still a brainless cadaver after her encounter with the singer's lustful approach and Sasuke was glad that the link between them was allowing him to maintain his own clearness of mind. If he had been forced to fawn over the guy simply because Sakura was, he would have had to kill himself.

At that moment a metal door popped open and out walked the front man wearing torn pants, a Ramón T-shirt, and a green bandana folded into a head band. His hands were in his pocket and he stared at Sasuke without emotion, waiting for them to make their introductions first.

"We were sent by Fallen Shinobi to learn from you. They gave us a scroll to give you to prove it." Sasuke reached inside his leather jacket to retrieve the parcel but went as cold as ice when he discovered it was gone. Had he really lost it? The almighty Uchiha, survivor and star pupil of Orochimaru, had lost track of something?

"You mean this?" the young man said, holding up the now unsealed scroll. "My range of skills extends beyond the boundaries of music. Finding ways to survive when no one is looking out for you can be pretty tough, but you always remember what you learn. You must be Sasuke. My name's Antonio"

"Do you have a nickname I can use instead? Antoine or Tony?"

"No, pendejo. My name's Antonio. You wouldn't want me calling you Sassy or Uke, would you?"

"Fair enough," he said wrinkling his nose at the thought of being called Uke. "Now how did you take that from me without me realizing it."

"Oh, that was a piece of cake. When I approached your girlfriend, you moved in as if you were trying to get me to back off. You were so concerned for her that you didn't see my hand sneak into your jacket and pull it out. I just hid it behind the neck of my guitar afterwards and read it backstage."

"She's not my fucking girlfriend."

"Damn right I'm not your fucking girlfriend!" said the pink haired girl behind him. "And if you keep talking like that about the women around you, you won't have any kind of girlfriend."

Sasuke stiffened at the realization that Sakura's good mood had returned to its usual pissed off and furious setting. However, the girl was doing her best to contain her rage. After all, there is no point in committing assault if there are witnesses. Antonio merely laughed at the two of them.

"You know," he said between fits of hysteria, "for the two of you not dating, you sure act like an old married couple. My old man and mother used to argue like that all the time, at least from what I can remember." His laughter died down at his own mention of his family and his face returned to the emotionless state it had been in previously. "I guess I should show you where you'll be staying for the next few days. Follow me."

Antonio led them to the far end of the village. The buildings there were all old and on the verge of collapsing, but that was what they had thought when they went to Matt's place. They figured it would be the same deal but were dead wrong. Antonio's place, though very spacious, was a disheveled and worn as the outside. The floors creaked with every step and there was a large hole in the wall that lead to the outside opposite the entrance.

"This place is a dump," Sasuke said, not so much giving his opinion as telling a fact.

"Not all of us can inherit a clan's fortune. I share this place with my band and there's plenty of room for all of us. The plumbing works, it keeps us dry when it rains, and there are a few cats to take care of the rodent problems. It may not be much, but it's a home." He motioned to a loveseat sofa and told the two to sit down. He asked if they wanted anything to drink but warned them that all he had was beer. The both accepted his offer and waited patiently for him to return.

"You didn't have to be so blunt," Sakura criticized.

"What do you want from me? All I did was tell the truth. Besides, he seems perfectly fine with living in a dump."

"And who are you to say anything about how people live. You were born into an elite clan and then had the entire complex signed over to your name when…well, you know. You've been catered to your entire life, so where do you get off looking down on someone who can wipe his own ass. Besides, you're supposed to be getting him to teach you what you need to know to improve and I doubt he'd want to help a snob so show some goddamned respect!"

"Well put," Antonio said from behind the couch holding two opened bottles of beer. Sakura was so preoccupied with her speech and Sasuke with listening to it, that neither noticed his presence. "Thank you for you concern, but I've heard worse about my lifestyle from better. Besides, after reading what Rin had to say, I doubt I'll be taking anything that comes out of his mouth seriously."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" the proud Uchiha demanded. "What exactly did she put in that scroll?"

"Your life story," he said, handing the two their drinks. "How your brother killed your clan, that you were the only survivor, the way you ditched the people who thought the world of you for a guy who wants your body (whatever the hell that means), and that you're only doing this band thing to spit in his face. She probably thought I'd be able to help you sort out your priorities since I went through something similar. It's a shame she doesn't realize that that alone doesn't mean I'll be able to help you."

"Your point being…"

"That you and I are nothing alike and if you're as stubborn as she tells me you are then I can't help you. Besides, I hate it when people treat me as if I were a shrink because of my past."

"Then don't," Sasuke said as he got up from the couch. He placed an empty bottle on the small coffee table in front of him and turned to Sakura. "Let's go Sakura. We don't have time to waste on this bullshit."

"Sit down Sasuke," she ordered, staring down at the beer in her hands. "If he brought us here then he must have something to tell us. Besides, I want to hear his story before we leave, that is, assuming he's in the mood to tell it."

Antonio let out a heavy sigh. If it had been anyone else asking him besides Rin, he would have spat in their eye, beat them into the ground, and then kicked dirt over their quivering body for bringing up such painful memories. But he owed that woman more than he could ever repay. When Sasuke had finally sat back down, realizing he couldn't go anywhere until Sakura was good and ready, Antonio pulled up a wooden chair and sat directly across from them, throwing his feet on the table.

He pulled out a cigarette and began patting himself all over. The two shinobi figured he had forgotten a lighter, so Sakura took the cigarette from him and placed it between her lips. She turned to face Sasuke, who had already finished the necessary seals for a flame jutsu and let out a small stream of flame. The flame just hit the end of the small cylinder and Sakura took a small puff, exhaling the smoke moments later like a pro. She then handed the cigarette back to its original owner.

"Those ninja techniques must really come in handy," he said after exhaling the smoke from his first hit. "I appreciate it, but if you don't mind, I think I'll use the butt to light the next one. Now where were we? Oh right, you wanted to hear about my sob story.

"To begin with, I used to live in a small village on the border between Fire Country and the Hidden Village of Grass. My parents were field hands and although individuals in the village were not particularly close, I had plenty of brothers and sisters, eight in total, to keep me company. I was the youngest, but none of them ever treated me like I was less then they were. We weren't rich or anything, but I can honestly say we were happy."

For a moment, Antonio drifted on to his own thoughts and started chuckling to himself. "I remember this one time when I was about four or five. We were playing hide-and-go-seek in the fields and I had gotten lost. The fields where my parents and older brothers worked were humongous, and the grain stalks had grown taller than me. I was afraid that no one was going to find me so I just started crying and crying, praying that someone, anyone, would find me.

"Eventually two of my sisters showed up and led me back home, and all I can remember after that was how worried everyone had been. My mother thought that I had been attacked by a wild animal. My father just laughed to himself and said that 'no son of his would get killed so easily.' Hearing those words made me feel really good inside. I don't really have many memories of them after that.

Two weeks later, our village was attacked by Grass Shinobi. My father and siblings were in the fields, but I was at home sick and my mother was tending to me. We heard screaming so my mother went to see what was happening. She peaked outside but immediately came back to me side, pulling me out of bed violently. She threw me down a hidden compartment beneath the floor and shut it. Telling me not to move or make any noises no matter what I heard.

A couple of seconds later, I heard our front door getting blown away and my mother hitting the floor screaming. There were footsteps of maybe two or three men entering the house but my mother didn't make a sound. I'm still not sure if she was trying to be brave for my sake or if she was simply petrified of what was about to happen to her."

Sakura could tell that what happened next was probably something they didn't need to know the details to, but feared he might add them to send the message home to Sasuke. Antonio took this pause to light another cigarette with the ash of the first. When he continued his story, Sakura was relieved when details weren't mentioned. Antonio had more respect for his mother than that and frankly, he didn't want to relive the memory any more than he had to.

"To put it bluntly she was raped right on top of where I was hiding, though I didn't know it at the time. I was just a kid. They left soon after but I stayed where I was for a hours, afraid that one of them might still be lingering. When I felt comfortable enough that they were gone, I crawled out from the hole in the floor. I knew that something was wrong when my mother never made a sound after all the screaming, but I guess I didn't want to admit that she was dead. Unfortunately, the way that had slashed her throat made it perfectly clear, even to an innocent kid like I was, that she wasn't going to get up and comfort me.

"I ran outside screaming for help. It was pretty stupid of me since it basically told any leftover shinobi that there were still victims to demoralize and kill. There were bodies everywhere, faces I knew and some I didn't. I didn't see me father's body or any of my siblings so I started to hope. I ran into the fields, and one by one I found them all. The dead bodies of my brothers were a godsend compared to what I saw of my sisters.

"My father was still alive, but barely. After everything I witnessed, I knew he was going to die and so did he. There was a kunai on the ground next to him. I guess the ninjas that were sent were pretty sloppy.

"I picked it up. I was tired of seeing my father in pain but I a still hesitated as I held the weapon over him. I don't know where the push came for me to do it as I forced the knife into his chest. What I do remember was how much it had freaked me out when I came to my sense and realized what I'd done. I probably would have taken my own life right there if my father hadn't put his hand on my forehead and thanked me before he died."

"Thanked me for what!" he shouted, grabbing Sasuke's empty beer bottle from the table and flinging it against a wall. "I did the same thing those ninja bastard's did. What the hell was so noble about that! I did it to put him out of his misery? Even I wasn't naïve enough to think that. I did it because the sounds of his dying breaths were scaring the shit out of me!"

He had to pause again to get his bearings. The two teenagers thought that he might be crying when he lowered his head and brought his hand up to massage the bridge of his nose, however that idea was put out when he raised his head and his eyes appeared to be perfectly clear without the slightest hint of moisture.

"I fell asleep crying next to my father's corpse and woke up in the morning. I felt guilty for being the only survivor, not that I expect you to share the same sentiment. I wanted to bring them all back to the village and give them a proper burial, but couldn't carry them all. So I went back to the village and grabbed a shovel. Ten graves I dug, my mother's being last, with the feeble hands of a child and under the influence of a fever, but I managed to finish by nightfall. I sat in the fields without anymore tears to shed, just wondering what was next. I had no place to call home, no family, and I was pretty sure I'd lost my sanity. I looked over at the shovel I had used to make the graves and decided to dig one more.

"Before I even had the chance to break dirt, I realized that the shinobi had returned and were setting fire to the fields and the village. Why the hell they couldn't remember to do that the first time around was beyond me but I was glad that I'd be joining the rest of my family soon."

They were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and their attention was immediately diverted. Standing in the doorway was a girl that looked like the mirror image of Sakura only with black hair and not pink. Antonio jumped out of his chair with the first genuine smile the two of them had seen on his face and walked over to the girl, giving her a quick kiss on the lips and grabbing a few of the grocery bags she was carrying. The girl gave him a frown, but Antonio was unsure what for. It wasn't until she nudged her head in Sakura and Sasuke's direction that he got the point.

"I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend. Sasuke and Sakura, this is Sara. Sara, these two are Leaf villagers Rin sent me to help out. They're a little special but we won't hold that against them."

The girl gave him a quick smack to the back of the head and scowled at him. "I swear to God you're horrible. Remind me again why I put up with you."

"Because after having you stalk me since childhood I finally decided that I couldn't live without you, we're madly in love, and the sex is great." The girl began sifting through her purse for something, but Antonio stopped her. "Before you start bombarding me with the chancla, remember that we have guests. Play nice and I'll let you have your way later. "

Maria complied and walked over to couple on the sofa. Sakura immediately rose to her feet and Sara, not wasting any time, brought her into a friendly hug. After seeing the way Sara had acted with Antonio and then seeing the two that close together, Sasuke was starting to feel very afraid at the idea of two Sakuras. A question popped into his head, and although he knew it could be considered rude, he had to ask.

"Um, Sara," he started, "do you dye your hair?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"No reason," he said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "I was just curious."

Antonio moved over to Sasuke's side, chair in hand, and sat next to him while the two girls chatted away. He was glad that Sara had shown up when she did to run interference, since he knew that Sasuke would not want Sakura to hear what was going on in his head just yet. He and Sara had been the same way at first. She wanted desperately to know what he was thinking and Antonio wanted to be left alone. For the time being, he thought it would be best to give Sasuke this small consolation.

"Sakura, maybe this would be a good time to practice controlling that leash thing. I'd like to talk to Sasuke alone."

Sara immediately understood what was going on. She had heard Antonio talking about his past and knew that he would never do such a thing unless he thought it was important. For some reason, she thought she saw a bit of the old Antonio in Sasuke and took it as a sign that he might have experienced a similar dark past.

"Sakura, why don't you come with me and I'll show you my collection of things I use to hit Antonio. Maybe I could even lend you something that fits your tastes."

Sakura nodded in assent and stood up. She walked the full length of the leash, stopping when Sasuke was jerked in her direction. This time Sasuke held onto the couch for dear life as Sakura began to move away. Their was significant stress on his part as he felt like his body had become the rope in a tug of war match, but the space between them was increasing. When Sakura and Sara were finally gone and the strain on Sasuke's body had died down, Antonio spoke.

"I was a little confuses to when I saw Sakura at the club. I thought for a moment that she had dyed her hair pink for some sort of role-playing thing, which was funny because she hates those kind of games."

"You said that you were the sole survivor but you mentioned that she had been stalking you since childhood. How do you explain that?"

"Hmmm. And here I thought you were supposed to be some sort of genius. Either I knew her in the village and she moved away before the attack or I met her afterwards while I was still very much a child. Either one seems perfectly acceptable. I don't remember much of her during my time in the village, but I met her again after moving here."

"And what exactly did you want to talk about?"

"How much of an idiot you are."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Look, Rin expects me to somehow magically change your whole perspective on what happened to you in three days and it would be impossible if she gave me three years. How you live your life after something like that depends on what kind of man you are. Sadly, you look like you haven't grown a day since it happened. I wasn't kidding when I said we had nothing in common on this subject. I managed to move on and all you can think about is how your life was stolen from you.

"Everyday you tell yourself that you're willing to sacrifice everything to get your revenge, but I know you better than that. You chasing after your brother on your own is like me chasing after a squad of shinobi. It's suicidal but that was always the point, right? You intend to die the same way your clan did just to give yourself some closure. Do you have any idea what that would do to that girl who worships the ground you walk on? How fucking selfish can you be!"

Sasuke had had just about enough of Antonio's lecturing. He was a trained assassin and he wasn't about to take that from some guitar-playing nobody. He grabbed him by the throat and pinned him on the coffee table. His chidori was at hand in an instant, bloodlust in his red sharingan eyes, but Antonio just laid there, stoic as usual.

"Are you going to kill me Sasuke? Show how much like your brother you really are. You know it will only prove how right I was about you. I'm not going to do the condescending thing and make your experience seem less then it was to you because that's your own pain you have to endure, just the way that this is mine."

"Are you telling me that if you had the opportunity to get your revenge for what they did to your family, for what they put you through, that you wouldn't take it?"

"I'm not saying that at all," he said calmly. "If they were still alive, I'd rip their throats out and bathe in their blood. But my mother gave her life so that I could have one. I wouldn't throw that gift away so easily the way you seem prepared to do. I was feigning ignorance before when I said I wasn't sure what Orochimaru wants you for. If revenge was your true motive, you wouldn't even be considering his offer. Having him kill your brother by giving him your bloodline limit would be an insult to their memory."

"What the fuck would you know about what my family clan would have wanted? My clan treasured my brother as if all their hopes were placed in his abilities. I can't think of anything my family would want more than that traitor's death. Every breath he takes is the true insult to their memory and I'm the one bearing the shame for allowing it to happen."

"Your clan will cease to be the moment you give yourself to Orochimaru and he grants your request. You will be failing your clan if you let it die that way. I honestly don't give a rat's ass what you decide, but don't you dare lie to me about your motives because you're full of shit."

There was a loud crash as Sasuke's hand came down in a flash of crackling light. Sasuke's breathing had increased rapidly from the stress of everything Antonio was telling him. When he saw eyes staring back at him from the table he had just put a hole in, he stumbled back into the sofa. Never would he have imagined that someone would be able to dodge one of his strikes from such a close range.

"Two years ago I stumbled onto one of the ninja that killed my family. From his smell, I knew he was one of the men that came into my house and killed my mother. Without hesitation, I picked his pocket, and with his own kunai I gutted him. I don't know what I was expecting. I knew killing him wouldn't give me back my mother, but I at least thought I'd feel relieved. I didn't. I felt hollow and dirty.

"You're probably thinking that once you lose something, nothing in the world will ever give it back to you. That's not true at all. I lost my home and family once, but now I find myself with both. The few months I've spent with that girl has meant more to me than killing that murdering bastard ever did. But I'll admit I was scared as hell at first. I couldn't live with the thought that the same thing would happen again. It's takes a lot to cross a bridge like that and it's obvious you aren't ready. There is nothing wrong with that.

"Rin sent you here because you need help letting go of the things holding you back. You have a way of attracting people to you and Sakura is proof of that but as long as you keep pushing them away, you're always going to fall short of your brother. Look at me and tell me you aren't afraid of going through that all over again. I don't think I could."

"I have no one left to lose. There is nothing for me to be afraid of."

"Then why was it so important for you to join Naruto's band. I'm sure with Orochimaru's influence you could have found plenty of experienced and decent candidates. Hell, I hear it's within his power to make candidates. Whether you are willing to admit it or not, you don't want to let go of your new bonds. If you did, then this Naruto guy would be dead already. Let him live on a whim my ass. And you owe me a new table."

"Would you let me go already!" said a concerned Sakura from the hallway connecting to the bedrooms. "That chirping sounds like a dangerous jutsu only a complete idiot would use indoors and I don't like the way the sound went away after that loud crash. Holy Shit!" she exclaimed at the sight of the destroyed table. "Sasuke, please tell me I'm imagining this."

"You're imagining it."

"Don't get smart with me dumbass!"

"Well don't tell me to tell you things you want to hear when you don't want to hear it!"

The two of them were intererrupted by hysterical laughing coming from Antonio. His face was turning a deep red since he was finding it hard to breath. Sasuke demanded to know what was so funny but it still took him several minutes to calm down before he answered.

"Nothing," he said. "I was just thinking how great the two of you get along. I'll just say one more thing before I let you off the hook Sasuke. Lighten up and enjoy the life you have. If you really want to get under your brother's skin, have fun in spite of him. If you do anything else, then you're doing exactly what he wants you to do. Now let's get something to eat because I'm starved. We'll show you where your room is later."

"Wait," Sasuke exclaimed in utter disbelief. "We're staying here!"

"Well, I guess you could stay at Matt's place if you're really that uncomfortable."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sara chided in. A little flushed at the mention of Matt's place. "When I walked by after leaving the store I saw a bunch of half naked women going in."

"That's right," Antonio said in realization. "Tonight's orgy night. Even so, I'm sure Matt would be more than willing to—"

"We'll stay!" they shouted in unison.

The four of them went into the kitchen-slash-dining room where Sara prepared a quick nighttime snack with Sakura's help. They ate in relative ease, no one feeling quite like chatting anymore than they already had. Sasuke had a lot to think about, and as much as he didn't like it, even he could see the light in Antonio's words. Maybe his libido was right and what he really needed was to get laid. He looked over at Sakura but when she caught him he reflexively turned away.

When they were finished with their meal, Sara led them to a room and let them in. She told them that the room she and Antonio shared was directly across from them and that the bathroom was to their down the hall and to the left. She said that if Sakura needed any clothing then she should feel free to ask to borrow some. Sasuke, however, was out of luck since Antonio had a thing about sharing his clothing.

There was a single bed that looked only big enough for one medium sized adult. Sasuke instinctively began setting up a pillow in the most comfortable part of the floor and checking the drawers to see if there were any blankets he could use as a makeshift mattress. Sakura had other ideas.

"Ano, Sasuke," she said nervously. "Would you mind if we shared the bed tonight? I'm not used to sleeping in a stranger's house. It would mean a lot to me."

Sasuke could tell that it had taken a lot for Sakura to make that kind of a request. He knew better than to expect anything more than sharing a bed but he was still hesitant. _Say 'yes' already you brainless moron!_ said the voice of Sasuke's mojo, but this was a decision that went beyond whether or not he was horny. Was he willing to form another bond at the risk of having it taken away? Sakura was growing impatient and after deciding that Sasuke was probably going to reject her offer, she threw herself on the bed and turned away from him.

The lights went out and Sakura felt tears welling up. She didn't know why she kept making a fool of herself to try to get close to her old crush. Maybe she really was a glutton for emotional neglect, but she couldn't bring herself to pull away from him. That's when she felt Sasuke lie on the bed next to her and an arm wrap itself just below her breasts. She instantly tensed up, not knowing what it could mean.

"Is this alright?"

She slowly rolled onto her other side to face him. On the surface he looked the same as he always did, calm, collected, and completely in control. But something deep inside told her that he was as unsure of this as she had been. The tears that had started to form rolled down her face without her consent, but she quickly wiped her face trying to hide it.

"Thank you."

The Next Morning at the Place Bug Boy Lost His Virginity…

Shino took a long drag from the freshly lit cigarette in hand as he watched the beautiful women cutely sleeping soundly next to him with her delicate hands resting on his chest. If the world came crumbling down at that moment, Shino would be able to die a very satisfied man. Jiraiya himself would have given his left testicle to have been in his position. Another puff from the after-sex cigarette.

For some reason, Shino felt like looking at the mess the two of them had made during their nightly adventure. The floor was littered with tissues, used condoms, and plenty of empty lubrication bottles. The headboard of the bed had been destroyed when Mika had tried handcuffing Shino to the bed. And let's face it, the sheets were in desperate need of a washing. Nay, they needed to be burned and replaced immediately.

That's when Shino caught sight of the sweats Raid had lent him. They were lying on the floor and sticking out of one of the pockets was a folded piece of paper. He didn't want to get out of bed and disturb his companion's rest, so Shino sent a trail of insects to retrieve the note for him. He thought it was fun to watch the way his insects dragged the paper to him the way ants would carry off picnic items.

He unfolded the note as soon as his minions returned and read the contents.

'Dear Shino,

I apologize for the wild goose chase I sent you on. I just couldn't think of a better way for you to meet Mika without it seeming suspicious. The rest of the band and I have known her since she was much younger. We used to stop by her parents' stand all the time when they were alive and even after their death we kept a close eye on her. When we heard that she had started dating some punk, we did our best to warn her about him without crushing her faith in men. Unfortunately, we failed. I sent you here for a number of reasons, but mostly in the hopes that you would be able to mend her broken heart and restore her trust in people.

The other reason I sent you here was so that you could finally learn what funk really means. Let's face it; you cannot get funky with a baseline if you cannot get funky in the bedroom. Saying this to you is meaningless. It is something you simply have to experience. I guarantee that if you pick up a base and remember the night you shared, your sound will improve one hundred fold.

And if you are wondering how I knew that you would pick up this note AFTER doing the naughty, let me enlighten you. I planned it. I planned all of it. From you falling off a cliff, to you ending up in Mika's house by nightfall, then going outside cursing my existence at the moon, and even Mika catching standing at her doorway butt naked. I am the ultimate strategist and you can tell that to those bastard clan heads the next time you see them.

Hugs and Kisses,

Aburame Raid'

It was at that moment that Shino decided to know his first child after that blessed uncle of his.

'P.S. The others shouldn't be finished with their tasks for another two or three days, so take your time and enjoy you're smoking hot girlfriend, sex-partner, whatever the hell you call each other for a little while longer.'

"…" (Oh, I plan on it Wise One. I plan on it.)

"mmmmm," came the sound of Mika talking in her sleep. "Shino, do that thing with your tongue again. That felt s-o-o-o-o good."


	14. Damn it's Dark in Here

It's late, I'm tired, and despite the shortage of reviews (though the few that I did receive were awesome) I wrote this chapter anyways. Keep in mind that I have no beta reader (I think that's what they're called) and the last part of this chapter was written in the middle of the night. If you think you as readers are desperate for me to push the story along, imagine how I feel. It's frustrating when you have an idea you know people will love but also know that the idea is several chapters away. The First summer session will be coming to an end soon, which means that I finished this chapter before my finals start.

Please Read, Review, and Enjoy.

And if you don't mind, pass this story along to people you think might enjoy it. I suck at PR and all that shit.

Damn it's Dark in Here

Naruto was, to put it mildly, a bit frustrated with Maiku's instructions. While everyone else had been sent off to some unknown and attractively mysterious destination, he had been told to stand against the wall of the bar and wait for a sign. The only thing he was allowed to do was play his instrument. It seemed simple and it would definitely improve his skill, but then the renowned guitarist had thrown an explosive tag on him. The _ONLY _thing he was allowed to do was play. No eating, no sleeping, no talking, no nothing until he received a sign.

When everyone was gone, except for Shino who had passed out from dizziness after walking in a circle for so long, Maiku specifically added that he was not allowed to use the Kyubi's talents during this training. After all, the goal was for Naruto to improve his own skills, not give his prisoner yard time. He had been told that his task would end after three days, whether his sign appeared to him or not. When Naruto asked how he was supposed to go three days without food or sleep, two of the most precious things Naruto had in his life, Fallen Shinobi merely laughed and told him that he should rely on his training as a ninja. Rin even added how the Fourth Hokage once went a month without eating while on a mission, something Naruto seriously doubted no matter how great a shinobi he was.

What Naruto had found truly unbearable, even more so than the ridiculous requirements that Maiku and his cohorts had set for him, were the two skeeby stoners leaning against the wall next to him. The chubby guy with the beard Naruto could tolerate. The guy was almost as quite as Shino, content with smoking a cigarette and checking out the sweet honeys that passed by. The other Naruto described as, and I quote, "a stupid son of a bitch that needed to learn how to shut the hell up." This was saying a lot coming from Naruto, the world's number one blah blah blah loudest ninja.

"Man, Silent Bob," he started. "Do you remember that mother fuckin' bitch from that band Fallen what-the-fuck? I can't stop thinking about that fine ass. Can't help but wanna spank it. Oh the fuckin' things I would do with that."

The stoner with the mouth started making out with an invisible body, hands groping where an ass would have been and his tongue flailing out in the air. Naruto tried not to pay attention, doing his best to adjust his amplifier so that it wasn't loud enough to disrupt the business on the inside of the bar, but audible enough to attract a potential audience. His attention was caught by the fat man, aptly named Silent Bob, who was writing something on a piece of cardboard.

When he held it up, it read, 'You mean the rhythm guitarist Rin from Fallen Shinobi?'

"Nah you fat bitch! I'm talking about the mother fuckin' babe with the long ass hair on vocals." One of Naruto's guitar strings snapped as the images of the lead singer of Fallen Shinobi and this hormonal douche together in a horizontal tango flooded his brain. He might have been the most feminine guy of the group but he was still definitely a guy. Even Silent Bob could figure that out, his next sign coming up in a flash.

'Serius!'

"Yeah I'm fuckin' serious! What the fuck are you, gay? You big fuckin' homo."

There was no sign this time as the round man in the heavy coat fell to the ground laughing. He only stopped when his hetero-life mate began kicking him rigorously, demanding to know what the fuck was so funny. A second string on Naruto's guitar snapped when the man on the ground spoke for the first time.

"Jay, buddy," he started, trying to keep his laughter contained. "That was a dude."

Jay merely blinked for a few seconds, completely taken by surprise.

"What the fuck are you babbling about! Don't you think I know a fucking guy when I see one? Hey you!" Naruto stopped replacing the strings on his guitar when he realized Jay was talking to him. "Is what this fat fuck saying true?" Naruto could only manage a disturbed yet vigorous nod. "Ah fuck! The hell with it, I still want to spank that ass."

The duo finally left, Naruto finished replacing his strings, and all was right with the world once more. The only comfort Naruto had was the knowledge that Shino was probably wandering around the woods aimlessly. It was not as if Shino would get lucky finding a place to stay for the night just following a damn arrow.

Very Late That Night, in a Very Secluded House…

The hour was late and all that could be heard were the sounds of crickets chirping and metal springs going bounce bounce in the night. The air was filled with the scent of burning incense escaping the confines of the cozy residence. The moon shone brightly in all its glory, giving the home a heavenly glow.

"Oh God Shino! Yes! Yes! Faster! Faster! Right There! Just a little bit more!" The woman's words were ended with a scream of pure ecstasy. Angels gave their blessings with a glorious 'Hallelujah.' From outside the room of the couple's love making, one could hear deep pantings of exhaustion. "Are you good to go again?"

"…" (Do you even have to ask? Ring the bell because here comes round five.)

A Dark Unknown Location…

Hinata slowly opened her eyes, dazed and confused by her situation. The white eyed girl remembered walking in the direction Serius had sent her but somewhere between the two-hundred-and-fifty-third and two-hundred-and-fifty-fourth tree she passed she was knocked unconscious from behind. Neji and her father must really be a new breed of asshole if they thought revealing the blind spot to Hinata would have been a waste of time.

Her hands were tied behind her back and her feet were bound. She briefly wondered why her captors had not gagged her when it occurred to her that she could have been passed out for days and might be deep within enemy territory. She tried to activate her byakugan and erupted in panic. Her blood line limit, the technique which pretty much every Hyuga becomes dependent on from birth, was not working. She tried to release some of her charka in order to cut her restraints but discovered it was just as futile. Her captors had done their homework.

Questions raced through her mind as she looked around the pitch black room. Who were these people? What did they want? Were they after her or was she supposed to lure someone else? Were they after Naruto or was it her byakugan? Would anyone even notice her missing? Would anyone care?

Feeling a wall behind her, she quickly turned and slammed her forehead against it. Her train of thought was not helping in the slightest bit and she needed to think of ways out of this mess. Scooting on the ground, she traced her way around the room and discovered that she was locked in a small room that seemed to be missing a door. There was no handle and no cracks in the wall that would have given away its location and no amount of tapping on the wall could help her discern a difference in structure (i.e. she was shit out of luck as far as finding a door was concerned). The silence was deafening and the poor girl was on the verge of tears when she thought that she might very well be in a standing coffin.

An hour passed and nothing…

An hour passed and nothing…

An hour passed and nothing…

Back at the Bar With Naruto…

Several hours had passed (after the Jay and Silent Bob incident but before Shino gets any) and as Naruto played, he found that he was able to completely tune out the world around him. In his state of tranquility, the prospect of going without food, sleep, or anything else seemed trivial. All that mattered at the moment were him and the six strings at his fingers. He was so enraptured by the sounds he was making that he failed to see the small group of people gathering around. He did not even react to the small pile of money amassing on the ground at his feet. What was money when he had music?

At the moment, Naruto was playing a variation of one of the ballads that he had heard at the concert. He had found the riff and solo the most interesting guitar play he'd ever heard but something told him it was missing something, though he could not quite put his finger on it then. Now that he had his instrument in hand, what he could not put in words came flowing out. He altered the tempo, picking it up in some areas and slowing it down in others. Where the original piece had shied away from the bass lines, Naruto included them with joy. Those who listened wore a sad smile on their face as they wept tears of joy.

It was not until Naruto had finished his song and the crowd began clapping that he took notice of the people. He was a little embarrassed that he was unaware of the group surrounding him but hid it with one of his wide grins. Praise was one of the things Naruto treasured with all his heart as he had received very little growing up. He wanted to thank them in his own way and after seeing the money on the floor, he came up with an idea. He knocked on the wall he was propped up against to get the barman's attention. When he arrived, Naruto pointed at the money, then drew a circle in the air with a finger, and then pointed at the crowd. The barman, being fluent in idiot sign language, knew exactly what he wanted. He took the money and had one of his assistants bring a round of drinks to the crowd.

Naruto then began another song, but when one of the crowd members recognized it to be yet another cover, things took a turn for the worse. The asshole started booing. "Play your own goddamn songs," he shouted. As pissed as it made him, Naruto was more concerned about a possible riot. Fortunately, the Barman came to his rescue.

"Shut the hell up you punk kids!" he shouted as he and some of the more benevolent listeners pinned the instigators to the ground. "He's not playing for your benefit and he sure as hell isn't forcing you to stay here. But since you're so restless, let's make a little wager. That kid has never played an original piece in his life. Making one up on the spot would be hard as hell. If he fails, you and your idiot friends will get free beer for the rest of the year. However, if he can pull it off, you and your buddies will have to drink all of the worst beer I have in storage," he leaned in close to the young man's ear, "and I'll be using your asshole as the bottle opener."

Naruto was feeling the pressure. Free drinks for that many people would mean going out of business for the bar. He had never been able to come up with something completely knew. Hell, his best technique, as elite as it was, was nothing more than a duplicate of the Fourth's jutsu. He looked down at the guitar that had been a gift from the demon within him and wondered if he should break the rules set for him, feigning extenuating circumstances. That was when he felt large hands press firmly on his shoulders.

"Relax boy," the barman said in a cheery tone. "All the faith I have in your skill won't mean a damn thing if you don't have any in it yourself. Just have fun and you'll do fine. Besides, the pretty girl with the freaky eyes left you this. Said something about an emergency, inspiration, or something along like that. Can't remember as I was stoned out of my mind at the time."

Naruto took a familiar notebook from the barman, realizing it was the same one that Hinata had been constantly scribbling in. He opened it to find it nearly full, page after page of song ideas and drafts. He noticed that a few of the pages were torn out and there was a faint curiosity as to why she would do such a thing, but his current situation did not give him the luxury of time he would have needed to dwell on the subject. Naruto read over several of the titles and stopped at the first one that caught his attention.

'Never Give Up'

It was one of the more recent entries and needed a lot of work, but something about it, and knowing that it was coming from Hinata, inspired him. If he were to let the demon fox win this battle for him now, who was to say that Naruto wouldn't do it again and again? This was his fight and nothing was going to keep him from victory, especially not something as pathetic as uncertainty or lack of confidence.

Needless to say, that was all the motivation the blond teen needed. Confidently taking the neck of his guitar in hand he began jamming. He was no singer and he sure as hell was not about to soil the white eyed girl's art with his feeble attempt. Instead, he swore to grace the song with as much skill on his guitar as he could muster. Hinata, in Naruto's mind, had probably written the song as an anthem for herself as a reminder to always be strong, but the blond boy could easily see it as his own.

Little by little the random notes being played began to evolve into a moving riff. From there, Naruto improved the draft riff as he played in much the same way as he improved on the songs of other bands. When he was pleased with the final product, he varied his guitar play before finally breaking out into what would become his solo segment of the song.

The crowd burst into an orgasmic cheer.

The assholes of the antagonists clenched in dread.

Hinata's Dark Place…

Hinata's eyes were now dry, having cried every last tear she could produce. She felt bitter about everything she had experienced up to that point where she was knocked unconscious and dragged into a closet. Resentment is easy to build when there is nothing better to do. She loathed her father for his neglect of her in favor of her younger sister Hanabi. Was it her fault if she was not a naturally talented genius? Of course not! Genetically speaking, she could easily blame her father for everything wrong with her, especially their common inferiority to a younger sibling.

And what the hell was Neji's problem anyways? At least he had the sympathy card to play from time to time. She was a prisoner but to anyone outside the Hyuga bubble, she was nothing more than a spoiled heiress of a wealthy and prominent clan. Hinata was as spoiled as milk straight out of a cow's utter and she would gladly accept the Hyuga seal upon her forehead for the freedom her older cousin took for granted.

Her thoughts trailed off to her teammates, the oh-so-caring Shino and Kiba. Teammates so overly concerned with seeing her as a liability that they hardly gave her the chance to grow. 'Don't worry Hina-chan! We'll handle this,' had become their mantra on missions and although Hinata would bear it with a smile it killed her a little inside to know how little they thought of her. What was the point of all her training if she never had the opportunity to use what she learned?

A flash of pink from her delusions and her thoughts were redirected at Sakura. Oh how she hated and envied that ditz with the violence fetish. She was everything Hinata wished she could be. Smart, confident, strong, intimidating, attractive. She was all the things Naruto admired in a girl but she never gave the blond boy a second glance and acted as if he was beneath her. Who the hell does she think she is! He throws himself at her feet yet she fawns over a lunatic who would stab his friends in the back if it meant a chance at revenge.

And what the hell is wrong with Naruto! Is he really so dense that he can't see how much she admires him? Hinata thought of all the times she had watched him train and how he had caught her spying on him several times. Did he really not see anything behind her actions or did he just not think her important enough to be given a second thought? There she was each and every time, making it painfully obvious with all her blushing and stuttering how much she cared for him, but all he did was brush her off. She throws herself at his feet yet he fawns over a psychopath who would sooner stab him in the heart if it could get her closer to the one she truly loved.

Then there was Hinata, in all her disgusting weakness. A girl so weak she could not keep herself from getting captured for the umpteenth time in her life, waiting for someone to rescue her. A girl so pathetic she spent the last hours contemplating how much she hated the people around her when the one she was truly upset with was none other than herself. How could she expect to help the boy she cared so much about if she couldn't even help herself.

Her thoughts were silenced when she heard rustling coming from behind the door, the first sounds she had heard for hours. There were voices of several giddy women and the sounds of clothing and furniture being moved around. While they may have been only faint whispers for Hinata, she knew that on the outside it was a madhouse of noise.

She opened her mouth to speak but found that words would not leave her mouth. She tried to make a sound, any sound, but was unable.

Why!

Why couldn't she get herself to do something so simple!

Why couldn't she do what she knew she had an obligation to do!

Why was she so pathetic?

At that moment, something snapped in the poor girl. She came to the realization that she was tired. Tired of not being seen and tired of not being heard. She rose to her feet carefully and hopped towards the noise. She rested her head against the wall in front of her, her strength gone from hunger and exhaustion.

"Help me," she said in a whisper. That would not do. No one would hear her over the noise outside and her choice of words lacked the authority anyone would respect.

"Open the door," she said in a more stern voice, frustration seeping through. That was better but still needed some work. She tried to think of her time with Naruto and his makeshift band of musicians and all the times she had turned into someone she wasn't. Someone she thought Naruto might respect. Someone she wanted desperately to become.

"OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR! DO YOU HEAR ME! I'VE BEEN STUCK DOWN HERE FOR HOURS AND THE LEAST YOU COULD FUCKING DO IS GET ME SOMETHING TO EAT! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD I'LL MAKE YOU REGRET EVER PISSING ME OFF!"

Something about her outburst felt strangely liberating and intoxicating. Out of nowhere she started throwing her shoulder into the wall, not so much as blinking when it popped out of place. She felt powerful and she liked it. The thoughts of what she would do to whoever was responsible for locking her up caused a sadistic and bloodthirsty smile to creep onto her face. To say she had lost it would have been the understatement of the millennium.

"Hold your horses," was the muffled response to Hinata's tirade. The wall Hinata had been throwing herself against had apparently been the door and all her banging and thrusting had been pretty pointless since it was very sturdy and opened inward. Whoever designed that door must have been a very sick genius to have it blend seamlessly with the empty closet she was standing in. The light that flooded her prison was blinding but it did not change the fact that she was ready to rip the first person she saw to shreds. The innocent appearance of the freckled woman who walked in did.

"My gosh sugar! What in tarnation are you doin' in here?"

"That's what I would like to know," Hinata said in an annoyed tone. "Where exactly is here anyways?"

"You're in our dressing room, squirt," said a voice from the bigger room outside the closet. The other woman was hardly as kindhearted as the freckled lady. "Molly, get the kid out of here. Little boy's aren't supposed to be back here."

"I'm a girl you bitch!" Hinata snapped. "Excuse me for having a couple more years before I start tripping over my breasts!"

"What did you say you little tomboy!"

"You heard me!"

The two girls were now face to face, Hinata having hopped out of the closet still bound and the other woman completely naked with half her face in full make-up. The growls and snarls coming from them would have frightened wolves away, but it was not enough to deter Molly from bring the peace.

"Now, now ladies. This is my place of business and I will not have two pretty girls such as yourselves make such an ugly scene. Tilly, finish getting ready and go. You come with me, little missy," she said as she curled a finger to Hinata signaling for her to follow. The woman named Molly led Hinata into the main section of the building, which resembled pretty much a bar or restaurant with a DJ, sectioned stages, and lots of smoke. Something told Hinata she should run for the sake of her soul but that part of her had lost all say in her decision making process.

"You wouldn't happen to be a Miss Hyuga Hinata, would you?" Molly said with a questioning look. When Hinata nodded, the busty freckled redhead was taken aback. "My word! You weren't supposed to be here for another hour! Whatever were you doing in that closet?"

"Someone attacked me from behind on my way here and the next thing I know I'm tied up locked in a closet. Wait, you were expecting me?"

"Sure was. A Mister Serius came by a few hours ago and dropped off a letter for you. Said something about making you our new temp waitress and boy am I glad. We've been shorthanded ever since the Fitzpatrick sisters quite. Here you got sweetie."

Hinata took the letter from Molly's hand and looked it over carefully. As a diehard fan of Fallen Shinobi, she recognized it immediately as Serius's handwriting. Her blood began to boil as she proceeded to read the contents.

'Dear Hinata,

By now you have probably figured out that I was the one who ambushed you in the forest and locked you in the closet. I sincerely apologize, but it was necessary for you to hit rock bottom before you could climb out of your hole. You may resent me now, and may even want to hurt me later, but I am sure you are feeling a great deal more confident than when we last spoke. If you are out of the closet, then that means that you were able to use the voice you have been hesitant to use up to this point. Never forget how you felt at that moment because that will be the key to improving the status of your fledgling band.

As for you 'temp job' here, Molly can explain more than I can. You may feel hesitant or disgusted, but know that there is a lesson for you to learn within these walls. You were beautiful as a caterpillar. Let's see what Kind of butterfly you will make.

Serius

PS: If you are wondering how I could know so much about your bloodline ability, I used to date a pretty white eyed girl when I was in the village. Whenever you have time, I suggest you go back to the closet and collect the barrier tags I placed on the walls. Place them on the walls of your room whenever you feel like having some alone-time. Consider it my little peace offering.'

Hinata's temper was pretty deflated by the end of the letter. He had a good reason for doing what he did and he had given her something extremely valuable for a teenage girl living inside the Hyuga estate. How could you not forgive someone who gave you back your privacy? She turned her attention to her new temporary boss.

"I'm ready to work whenever you need me, but would it be alright if I had something to eat first?"

"Of course cutey!" she exclaimed with enthusiasm. She signaled for a scantly clad waitress to make a table ready. "Anything for my newest employee. Consider yourself a member of our happy family here at Molly's Nudey Bar."

Hinata's jaw hit the floor as all her former feeling of hostility towards Serius revived itself.

Back to the Wallflower…

It was now midnight down at the pub and Naruto was beginning to understand the hallucinations spawned from hunger. As he played different chords to the rhythm of his growling stomach, he thought he saw an army of midgets walking in unison right before he eyes.

'The munchkins go marching, one by one

Hoorah, Hoorah'

Naruto was so hungry the thought of eating his guitar was starting to sound appealing. When the hell was he supposed to get his sign and what the hell was it supposed to be! Was his sign supposed to be the fat man writing about Serius and his friend's gay fetish for him? Was that his sign? Or maybe it was watching those bottles being opened in such a disgusting yet strangely satisfying manner in accordance with the barman's wager. What the hell was he waiting on?

"Hey kid," shouted a man in a black trench coat and shades, even though it was well into the night. Naruto looked around but saw no one else. Everyone was either at home sleeping or inside the bar. Still, he could not stop from pointing at himself in a confused manner.

"No, I want to ask the wall behind you if she wants to make out," he said in a very sarcastic tone. "Here's your sign."

Whether or not this was the sign Naruto was waiting for, he jumped away from the wall and would have kissed him full on the lips if the man had not dodged masterfully. "I'm sorry. I swear I'm not gay, but I've been waiting for hours without food or water hoping to hear those words. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank—"

"Alright kid, I get the point. I just stopped by to tell you how impressed I was with your performance earlier. I've met my share of guitarists but not many could pull something out of their ass as quickly as you did."

"Well," Naruto started, not exactly sure how he should respond. "Thank you."

"I also wanted to offer you a spot in a little competition I'm holding for ten of the best guitarists I've come across. Winner gets one hell of a prize."

"I'd love to but I'm not sure if that's what I should be doing. I need to get better so my band can improve."

"That sounds like the best reason on earth to enter. You can't get better if you don't know what your competition is. And any guitarist will tell you that a jam session with another guitarist is always better than playing solo. Besides, if you were looking for a sign before, then this is probably what it was for."

Naruto had to think for a while. He definitely wanted to get a feel for a competition, but he had one little condition before he consented.

"Alright, you feed me and we have a deal."

"That isn't a problem and you can call me Bill. What say we head over to Molly's for a bite to eat?"

"Do they serve ramen?"

"Kid, I'm not too sure what the hell ramen is, but I can assure you that food is the last thing you'll be thinking of."

Molly's Lack of Clothing Place of Business…

The first thing the white eyed girl was glad to hear was that she would not be removing any of her clothing. However, she would have to wear a very revealing outfit and serve drinks to drunken sexual deviants. How fortunate for her that she was trained to kill each and every one of them should they get out of hand…or piss her off.

The worst part of the job for her was having to endure the cheesy music many of the girls chose to dance to. Of course, very few of the men sitting down had any use for their ears. Their eyes were completely glued to the women on the stage. With so much as a bat of the eyes, the girls could cause their audience to hyperventilate and succumb to their most primal of desires. The best of the dancers, Tilly included, could have any man of the audience do exactly what she wanted before he even realized she was making him do it. Hinata was amazed to see one man bus his own table on a stripper's whim.

Hinata wanted that so bad, wanted to make the man of her choice react that way for her. To send shivers down a certain yellow haired boy's spine with something as simple as a smile or take his breath away with a look. A slap to her behind snapped her out of her personal fantasy as she popped her assailant smack in the throat and then kicked him in the balls (ah, haven't done that in a while). This new attitude of hers was coming naturally now and the once shy girl did very little to hide it.

At that moment the lights died down and the music made a transition from a country rhythm to a jazzy baseline. Hinata knew what was coming. This was Tilly's third set of the night and the white eyed girl found that of all the women who worked that stage, Tilly was the most beautiful. When people caught sight of her, regardless of gender or sexual preference, she was the only thing they saw. Hinata found herself holding her breath until her body forced her to exhale against her will.

Tilly was a master when it came to working both a pole and a crowd. She orchestrated the lights before each and every set and it created the illusion that she was floating above the stage when she clung to the pole. As a Shinobi, Hinata had to admire her flexibility and imagined how useful her talents could be if applied to a routine reconnaissance. Then again, with her seductive nature Tilly could probably get the men to let her in through the front door.

For Tilly, stripping was not a job or a hobby. It was art, the stage as her canvas and her body as the paint. She was beautiful, the make-up she applied simply to make herself more visible in the dark room. Her body was a work of art of divine origin and Hinata was ashamed for having ever insulted it. She had long auburn hair with dazzling blue eyes, silky smooth skin, a thin figure with sexy hips and a flattering pair of breasts. She knew that if she wanted a clean conscience she would have to apologize soon. Her chance came as Tilly's set ended. She called out for a five minute break and headed to the dressing room.

"Ano, Tilly?" she began nervously. "I wanted to apologize for the things I said earlier. I was so upset about being stuck in a closet for so many hours that I took it out on you. I'm sorry," she added with a bow.

Tilly looked the girl over before smiling and putting her hand to her forehead. "Don't worry about it. I was late for my shift and was a little cranky myself. I shouldn't have called you a boy. The closet was dark and I didn't have my contacts in. You're actually very pretty."

"Thank you." Hinata blushed at the compliment. It truly meant a lot coming from her. "I'm not as pretty as you are. You were beautiful on stage."

"Um," Tilly was becoming incredibly uncomfortable with the way the conversation was developing. "Just so we're clear, I'm not into girls. I happen to be very straight despite my teasing nature."

When Hinata realized how she had been misunderstood, she quickly began shaking her head and waving her hands in front of her for emphasis. "N-n-neither am I! I just wish that I could have that effect on people. I don't really get much attention in my village and the one I really like seems to think I'm invisible half the time."

"Hmmm," the attractive woman hmmmed to herself, stroking her chin as se thought. Tilly had to admit that the girl before her had a lot of potential as far as crowd moving went. Hinata had an amazing figure herself for a girl her age, and the short hair and white eyes only added to her appeal. If a girl like her had trouble getting noticed then it was entirely a personality issue. "You're usually a very shy and quiet individual, aren't you?"

The girl nodded as she took a seat next to Tilly. "I still can't believe that I actually agreed to sing for my crush's band."

"Eh? So that's why Serius sent you here."

"You know Serius?"

"Of course I do," she said as she held up a hand with a ring on her ring finger. "That lazy bastard is my husband."

"WHAT!"

"Before you ask, we kept it a secret to keep the tabloids and reporters off of our family. Serius has to deal with enough of it on the road and he really didn't want me and his daughter to deal with it. Now back to what I was saying before. Singers need charisma and appeal to move an audience. A voice isn't enough if the singer is dull and uninteresting. That's how a lot of bands fail."

"That's not something I need to hear. I'm already afraid that I'll screw up in the middle of a performance." Hinata thought carefully for a moment. She knew that you couldn't learn sex appeal but something within her was desperate. It wasn't the fear of failure that was driving her the way she thought it would be. Instead, it was a part of her she was unfamiliar with that wanted out, like a beast she had been caging her entire life but had been too afraid to let out. "I don't know if it's even possible, but could you maybe teach me how to work a crowd the way you do?"

A sly grin spread across the lovely woman's face but before she could utter a single word, their conversation was interrupted by Molly from the main room.

"Hinata! Your five minutes are up and we have incoming. Take the handsome gentleman and the young blond man at table twelve!"

Hinata jumped to her feet and headed out, making sure her outfit wasn't revealing anything that shouldn't be as she ran out, intentionally doing her best not to look back.

Table Twelve…

Naruto was as stiff as a plank of wood and that can be taken in any number of ways. As much as he tried to keep his attention on the table in front of him, he couldn't help but glance at the naked and scantly dressed women that walked passed him. One in particular made him blurt out involuntarily.

"Oh my god! Did you see the size of those things!"

To which Bill replied, "I sure did!"

As the two waited patiently for their waitress to arrive, Naruto became curious about the competition he had just entered. He learned that the ten guitarists would be competing over a two night period. The five who one their matches the first night would then go on to compete in the same concert hall where the semifinals of the battle of the bands would be held. Transportation, food, and lodging would be provided for those who needed and there was no entry fee.

Naruto was about to ask about the prize when their waitress arrived. Naruto had been on his best behavior keeping his eyes from wandering too much. However, now that they had been assigned a cute girl to serve them, Naruto could not help but see an opportunity to sneak a few innocent peeks.

"Ano," the waitress began, completely oblivious to the people she was serving. Naruto continued to turn his head in her direction, casting his stare on just the perfect spot to glimpse cleavage…beautiful cleavage…lovely cleavage. "How can I help you?"

At the same moment the waitress looked away from her notepad to the blond boy, Naruto's gaze roamed to the eyes of his waitress. Very familiar white eyes.

"Hinata!"

"Naruto!"

"You two know each other?" Bill chided in.

Naruto briefly explained their connection with each other to Bill after which Hinata informed Naruto on her situation. It was an awkward moment, but everything seemed to work itself out. Hinata took their orders and headed off, but when she returned all hell broke loose. Before their arrival, Hinata had been the ideal waitress. Every meal was brought exactly the way the customer ordered promptly and not a single dish made so much as a sound as she set them in front of the customers.

Naruto's presence had an unbelievable influence. She took the wrong order for Bill, accidentally dropped Naruto's drink in his lap, and broke several plates at nearby tables. Needless to say it caught Molly's attention.

"Hinata, what is going on?" she asked sounding very concerned. "You were perfect until just a minute ago. What's wrong sweetie? Is someone giving you a hard time?"

Of course, hearing something might be wrong with his fellow Konoha shinobi as well as his new vocalist worried Naruto. "Is everything alright Hinata? If some bastard is doing anything perverted to you don't hesitate to tell me. I'll kick their asses back to next week!"

Hinata began blushing once more, back away as she assured the two of them that nothing was wrong. However, she walked right into another waitress who was carry a stack of plates, all of which shattered on the floor. Molly looked at Hinata, then at the blond boy, and put two and two together.

"So you're the young man that's causing all this pandemonium." Molly had a stern look on her face stressed by the crossed arms in front of her busty chest. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you and your friend to leave. I won't have anyone harassing my girls while I can help it."

"What!" Naruto shouted in surprise. "I would never do anything like that to Hinata-chan!"

"Are you saying she isn't good enough for you?"

"Of course not! It's just that…well…she's Hinata. I wouldn't want to be a problem for her."

"Well you're having a serious affect on our little Hinata and it's keeping her from doing her job here. I guess I could let you stay, but I certainly can't have her attending tables while you're here. Why don't I let her take her last break with you fine gentleman so she has a chance to work out her jitteriness?"

"And exactly what affect am I having on her?"

Before Molly could answer his question, Hinata was off the floor and quickly guiding Naruto back to his table, emphatically declaring that it was nothing. She took a seat next to Naruto and did her best to hide her nervousness. Naruto was also trying his best not to stare at the uniform he had been ogling only moments before. He was amazed how pretty she could look from something as simple as a change in outfit.

"So Naruto," Bill said, mostly to break the silence. "Aren't you at all curious about the prize for the winner?"

"What prize?" Hinata asked out of curiosity.

"I entered a contest for guitarists in exchange for a meal. Actually, I was about to ask about the prize before we boobed—bumped! I mean bumped into Hinata!" Naruto was sweating now and Hinata looked away in embarrassment, still a little pleased that the blonde baka was finally taking notice. Naruto cleared his throat before continuing. "So what exactly is the prize?"

"Well, before I tell you that, I need to explain a little bit more about myself. You see, many years back I used to be a well known scout for a record company. I took a trip down to Konoha and caught a band by the name of Burning Leaf and was so impressed that I threw down the contract papers on the spot. The young man who seemed to be the glue that held them all together was extremely pleased with it but said he had other responsibilities. However, he said that he would have no problem with me signing his younger members individually.

"I told him he was out of his mind and said it was an all or nothing deal. How the hell was I suppose to know that the man I was talking to, the man whose guitar playing could make angels cry, was the leader of an entire ninja village and that he would later sacrifice himself to protect the very place I had been in only days before. A week after I received news of his death, the kids from his band showed up in my office, asking if I would reconsider signing them. After looking into their eyes and seeing that they no longer had any place to go, I recanted and Fallen Shinobi was born.

"When they came to my office, they presented me with a gift from the man you call the Fourth. It was a pristine white guitar with a leaf emblem on it. I recognized it immediately as the guitar your hokage had used on the last performance before he died. It was the very same guitar he had learned to play with and had had all his life. Those kids might as well have given me the keys to the country. However, knowing that young man, he would have wanted it passed down to someone who would treasure it the way a guitar is meant to be treasured.

"That is why I have set up this makeshift competition: to decide who will be their heir to that man's legacy." Bill paused for a moment as he looked Naruto over. Naruto and Hinata could have sworn they saw the hints of tears in his eyes, but they disappeared as quickly as they presented themselves. "When I look at you I can't help but see a little bit of him in you. Not only your appearance but in the way you play. The notes come from your heart, not your hands. I think you stand a good chance at winning this competition."

Naruto looked at Hinata to make sure that what he was hearing was true. The excitement in her eyes after hearing about the hokage's long lost guitar made it clear that this was not a joke. Even the demon that dwelled within him seemed excited by the news.

**At last! The divine instrument will finally be mine! Boy, do not hesitate to use my power should you need it. That guitar is more valuable than you could possibly imagine. I will not allow some other fool to hold it.**

'What's so special about it?'

**That is none of your concern! Just know that I will consume you from within if you fail to retrieve that instrument.**

If the Kyubi thought it was valuable, then it probably was. Why else would a demon of so many years value it? Besides, this was about returning a village symbol back to the place where it was born. That was when Naruto noticed the look in Hinata's eyes. Despite the almost empty appearance of her byakugan, Naruto could swear that he saw hope and excitement in them. It made him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and frankly, Naruto wasn't used to it. It wasn't a bad feeling by a long shot, but it was definitely unusual for him.

Bill stood up and put the money for the meal on the table, the two teenagers rising as well. Naruto and Hinata were a little uncomfortable with saying their goodbyes. They would be seeing each other again in a couple of days and then they wouldn't be out of each other's sight for a month. It was then that Naruto remembered something important. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out Hinata's journal. He handed it to her with a blush on his face, turning away as he spoke.

"Thank you for lending me this. It saved my ass." The girl took the book back, very unsure of how she should act in a situation like this. "They were all great and I figured you'd want to add more to it before we all see each other again."

Hinata felt as if she could cry happily with those clumsy words. She muttered a thank you as she leant in to plant a kiss on Naruto's cheek. However, Naruto has turned his head at the wrong moment, or right moment depending on how you see it, when he heard her say something. Both their eyes shot open when they realized that they were kissing each other on the lips. However, both refused to back away and they stayed like that until they finally closed their eyes and gave into the kiss. Both found the taste of the other intoxicating and relished the warmth of the other's body. Hinata's small hands reached up Naruto back as the boys hands rested gently at her hips, not wanting to do anything that might be considered offensive.

They both gasped for air as they pulled away from each other, all eyes on the young duo. Neither Hinata nor Naruto had expected for things to turn out like that and they were both ill-equipped to handle what they thought to be a large step. Bill and Molly sighed at how good they must have it being so naïve. A pair of hands gripped gently on Hinata's shoulder and pulled her away from the boy in front of her. Bill then hooked an arm around Naruto's shoulder and led him out of the bar laughing.

"Good luck!" she shouted before the boy was completely out of her sight. She doubted that he had heard her but she would not have felt right without saying it. It was then she realized that the hands that had pulled her away were still resting on her shoulders. She looked over them to see Tilly with a broad grin on her face.

"Two days and he'll be eating out of the palm of your hand. I'll be waiting for you when your shift is over."

And this is the last we hear of Hinata until she meets up with everyone else.


	15. Rap Rock? Blasphemy!

Geez, can't a guy slip into a coma for a month without being disturbed? Oh well, here's an update.

Rap Rock? Blasphemy!

Some people may not be aware that spooning is an art. Like a sculpture, painting, or incredibly large ball of yarn, it has the ability to enrapture all those who have the pleasure of experiencing its divine beauty. If a man is not confident in his ability to deliver an award winning performance in this age old act of 'sleeping comfortably,' he should refrain from making any foolhardy attempt.

There are certain rules in spooning that should always be respected, lest one feels compelled to receive a violent ass whoopin' or simple, but effective, blow to the family inheritance. Here are the basics.

**Rule 1**: Be sure that your partner is comfortable with being held. If you are unsure or have a reason to believe she (or he, who am I to judge) may react violently, sleep somewhere else (in another country if she is the latter). If you have secured her consent keep the subsequent rules in mind.

**Rule 2**: First timers should beware never to let their hands wander to sensitive and private areas, unless of course your partner is chill like that. Always keep in mind that a simple brush against the breast of a she-devil could lead to a trip to the hospital. If you are unsure what you should do with your hand, I suggest you shove it up your ass and be thankful if you still have it in the morning.

**Rule 3**: Should your jury rise to greet the judge, do not allow them to enter her chambers without permission or they will never be allowed to make a verdict. Always have the decency to wake your partner if 'that' is on your mind.

First-timers around the world rejoice. Uchiha Sasuke, sole-survivor of the Uchiha clan massacre and prized pupil of the much feared and revered Orochimaru, managed to break all three stipulations on his first try.

Oddly enough, it wasn't even the boldness of Sasuke's roaming hands, or even the sideways tent poking at her leg that woke her up. Those details had managed to make their way into the sleeping girl's dream and were the reasons for the blush and cheshire grin spreading across her face. What did succeed in waking her was one of the giant mosquitoes, the very ones that made Antonio's village so unpopular for tourists, landing on her forehead and inserting its syringe-like sucker into the skin. Sakura, on reflex, sent her hand flying in the hellish insect's direction, succeeding in killing the bug and snapping herself back to reality.

Needless to say, the girl was pissed and looking to take her anxiety out on someone. Strike one.

The first thing she noticed was the hand gripping tenderly at her chest. It was not, in her opinion, unpleasant in any way and each gentle squeeze sent a jolt of electricity down her spine, causing her to arch her back. If she were still dreaming, she would have fought to stay asleep. However, this was not a dream and she did not remember giving anyone the right to her recently acquired assets. Strike two.

It was then that she became aware of the poking sensation. She knew immediately what it was, but the surprise of it all caused her to black out for a moment. When she came to it took her a few moments to get her bearings and analyze the situation. One, she had allowed Sasuke to share the bed with her. The night before had been very traumatic for Sasuke, with him having to face up to his old demons, and she genuinely felt uncomfortable sleeping in the homes of strangers. She had also been drunk off the thought of finally being able to sleep near her crush. Two, Sasuke's hand was playing with her boobs and she was torn between wanting him to continue and the desire to rip his arm out from its socket.

Three, Sasuke's woody was pecking at her leg. The room became chillingly cold.

"SA-SU-KE," she growled, rousing her former teammate from his slumber. You're out Sharingan-kid.

"What?" he demanded grumpily. He was completely unaware of his own actions at this point.

"What the fuck do you think your doing!" With that she grabbed the playful hand and, with all her might, she sent the poor shinobi flying into the wall. The impact lodged the Uchiha survivor upside down in the concrete wall and Sasuke was lost in his own bewilderment.

_What the hell is going on? _He asked himself.

_My friend, you have completely redeemed yourself in the eyes of all men, that's what, _said the voice in Sasuke's head. _Who would have thought you capable of putting the moves on her while you were still asleep? My figurative hat goes off to you._

_What are you talking about?_ He asked his libido. However, the voice was preoccupied with its own thoughts, cooing about how soft 'they' were, and how smooth 'it' was, and how warm 'she' was. Sasuke was beginning to worry. _Jesus, don't tell me we did that in our sleep!_

_Relax you clueless moron, _the voice reassured him. _All you're guilty of is a little petting and morning wood. It's nothing to be ashamed about. And luckily for you she hasn't completely torn you limb from limb yet._

_What do you mean?_

_Well, she's probably waiting for you to compliment her. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, when a girl waits for an explanation, she's fishing for flattery. Just tell her how irresistibly beautiful she is and all will be well. God willing, she'll let us go all the way!_

"What the hell are you waiting for Sasuke?" the pissed girl demand. "I want an exclamation!"

_See! Make your move Casanova!_

Sasuke pried himself out of the wall and patted himself down as he thought of something thoughtful he could say about her. He looked at her and it was like seeing her for the first time. She really was a beautiful woman, young as she was. The tangled and messy hair she woke up with, the seething scowl on her face, and the bug bite on her forehead did little to diminish her charm. Sasuke may have been able to deny it up until then, but there was no denying it anymore. The words simply spilled out of his mouth but they came from the heart.

"You're beautiful."

Sakura seemed shocked. Her eyes softened and the scowl disappeared as she uttered, "Sasuke, you…"

Her silent pause was interrupted in Sasuke's head as his mojo began to celebrate. _SCORE! What did I tell you? Ninety-nine percent success rate baby! She's finally going to make a man out of us. If I had control of those tear ducts I'd be crying tears of blissful joy. I'm so fucking happy right now! _Then all hell broke loose.

"Do you honestly think that load of crap is going to get you out of what you just did!" As enamored as Sasuke was just a moment before, he knew that this was a shit-yourself moment and his pride was the only thing keeping his shorts clean.

As Sakura slowly proceeded to break each and every bone in the poor teenager's body, Sasuke's mojo realized one thing and one thing only. _Sasuke's luck could give the legendary sucker's a run for its money._

Next Morning…

Sara was humming peacefully as she prepared breakfast like she did every morning while Antonio took a shower. Today was special for her since it was not often she and Antonio had guests over. Well, normal guests. Antonio would, at times, bring his band mates over to visit but they were drunk half the time. Compared to the way they were intoxicated, the couple that spent the night was a breath of fresh air…even if they were a bit violent.

She heard the sounds of unfamiliar footsteps and concluded that their guests were awake. She stopped what she was doing to greet them, but nearly fainted at the scene before her.

"What on earth happened to you?" She inquired of the bruised and bloodied man.

Sasuke merely rubbed his aching jaw and said, "I fell out of bed." He hoped that it would be enough to satisfy her, but as with most women, it was not.

"Don't be ridiculous!" she shouted in a concerned tone. "Antonio falls out of bed every morning and I've never seen him end up like you. Do you want me to call someone? Doctor? Lawyer? We have both on speed dial."

"I'm a medic-nin so don't bother calling a doctor," chimed in the pink haired princess. "And if you're going to call a lawyer ask for someone who specializes in sexual assault cases."

Sasuke mumbled something which provoked a smack to the back of the head by Sakura. "What did he say?" asked a curious Sara.

"Something about there not being a jury in the world that would convict him. Ooooh, something smells good."

Sara beamed with pride and went on and on about what she was preparing, signifying the end of a very uncomfortable topic. Well, almost. "Sakura, I just have to two questions and then I'll drop the subject. If you're a medic-nin, while exactly haven't you healed Sasuke's injuries?"

The girl gave an angry scowl at the boy before answering. "Retribution," she said.

"Okay." Sara felt a wave of pity for the injured man but to some degree was envious of the pink haired girl's dominating attitude. Sometimes Antonio needed to be put in his place, but Sara conceded that she and Sakura each had their individual ways of handling the men in their lives. What worked for one might not necessarily work for the other. "I also noticed that you're actually wearing your forehead protector on your forehead. Any special reason why?"

"N-N-Not really," she stammered as she laughed nervously. Truth be told, her medical skills fell short when it came to insect bites and the one she received that night was a whopper.

Sakura and Sasuke took their seats at the dining room table opposite each other. Sakura found it odd that Sasuke had this confused look on his face and that he was doing his best not to look at her. At first she thought it was just guilt but as time went on she was not so sure.

"I see the lovebirds managed not to kill each other last night," said a refreshed voice from the hallway. Antonio emerged wearing nothing more than a bathrobe and walked over to Sara to give her a warm, 'good morning' kiss. Sakura was certain that something was wrong when she caught Sasuke fidget at the gesture.

"What's the matter Sasuke-kun," the pink haired girl teased meanly. "Does a sincere show of affection make you uncomfortable or are you still upset that I woke up before you could do anything."

Sakura was uncertain why she said what she did. By then she had already figured what Sasuke did was an accident and it was partially her fault for saying they should share the bed. With her knowledge as a medic-nin, it should have been obvious what was going to happen.

There was something in the way that he had looked at her when he said that she was beautiful that had hurt her, but she was not sure why. She had wanted to hear those words for years but they never came, and now that he had finally uttered them, she found herself unable to accept them.

Why?

Sasuke turned his head to look at her and Sakura had half-expected him to be scowling angrily. He was not. Instead he had the strangest look on his face that was uncommon him or any other Uchiha she had ever heard of; his face seemed apologetic.

He had a hurt look in his eyes different from the pain his bruised face suggested and his expression gave the feeling that he truly regretted upsetting her. The feeling was surreal for Sakura since she never thought it was possible. There was still an ounce of doubt as to whether or not her eyes were playing tricks on her, but it was quickly smothered.

"I'm sorry about last night," he said as he turned away, not being able to look her in the eye as he said it. "There is nothing I can say to make it alright, but I didn't mean to do that to you."

When Sasuke finished speaking, the rest of the house went silent. No one had seen that coming, least of all Sakura. She had apologized to Sasuke plenty of times but she never imagined that he would apologize to her the way he just did. Then it hit her. The reason she was so hostile towards Sasuke was because of their complete role reversal. Two years ago, it was Sakura that had been following Sasuke around, while he had been irritated and indifferent to her. She desired him and spilled her heart out to him and all he had ever done was hurt her. Now, in part because of the binding jutsu, Sasuke was the one being led around and Sakura irritated over the inconvenience.

Sakura thought back to when Sasuke had called her beautiful and felt a pang of guilt and remorse. It was not that she doubted his sincerity that she had reacted so cruelly, but because he had opened his heart to her. She reacted in the same manner as Sasuke had when he rejected her, though her expression was very different; she crushed the sentiment and left little room for recovery. No, Sakura had taken it one step further and continued to chastise him for it. Sasuke had never rubbed salt into the wound.

She pushed back her chair and slowly walked over to where Sasuke was sitting. After performing a few hand seals, she brought the orb of glowing green to his face and watched as the wounds began to heal slowly. Sasuke's face never changed its expression as he looked into the girl's green eyes, trying hard not to lose sight of them through the light of the jutsu. When his bruises were taken care of, he gently grabbed Sakura's hand and placed it on his cheek. He then took his other hand and brought it to hers.

"Thank you for letting me sleep next to you last night. It may have ended badly, but it was the first time I've been able to sleep peacefully since-" he stopped himself and decided to rephrase his thoughts, "-in a long time. It's more than anyone's ever given me and I'm sorry I don't know how to repay you."

Sakura was entranced by his change of behavior and had yet to realize that her own hand was now holding the hand at her cheek. Without thinking about it she closed her eyes and began to lower her head. She felt Sasuke's hands twitch nervously for the briefest of moments, but he did not resist her. She was not sure what she was expecting to happen, but whatever it was felt like it was taking an eternity to happen.

Their hopes for an intimate moment were dashed when Antonio cleared his throat to get their attention. They had completely forgotten that there were two other people in the room. The two opened there eyes just in time to see their hostess smack their host upside the head.

"What did you do that for?" she whined. "They were just about to kiss too."

"My apologies, Queen of Corny Romance Clichés, but we need to eat quickly and get ready for today. Sakura's about to be late for her session with Matt, and I want to see how Sasuke handles freestyle. There's also something I need to ask Sakura." He turned to face the puzzled girl. "Sakura, I want to take Sasuke to a guitar convention in a nearby village. Since he also needs to act as a guitarist, I think he should see what styles are out there. I'm not too fond of the idea, but I think his sharingan will come in handy as far as learning the basics of each style. Unfortunately, you won't be finished with your lessons with Matt in time."

"So what do you want from me?"

"I need you to pass the leash on to me."

"WHAT!" Sasuke erupted. "What makes you think I even want to go? If being there means I'm stuck with you for the entire trip I'd rather play drums in the nude with Sakura and that fruitcake."

"I'm sure you would," Antonio said, "but I heard there was going to be a competition to see who claims the legendary guitar of your Fourth Hokage."

"Will I be able to compete for it?"

"No."

"Then why should I go?"

"Because of the underdog in this battle."

"What about him?"

"My source tells me he's a shinobi from Konoha with blond hair and a big mouth. He also said that this kid has only been playing the guitar for about a week. Any of that ring a bell to you?"

Sasuke and his female companion were awestruck. They knew of no other villager in Konoha who came close to that description but could not believe what they were hearing. "Naruto is playing at a guitar convention?" Sakura asked no one in particular, unable to believe the words that had just left her mouth.

"Apparently," Antonio continued. "I'm surprised this friend of yours even got noticed. I know the man whose hosting this event personally and there is no way in hell a novice could ever catch his interest. Is he really that good?"

"All we can say for sure is that he's full of surprises," offered Sakura.

"I'll go." Sasuke's comment left Sakura confused and a little disappointed. "It used to be that I was always ahead of him, but now I'm struggling just to keep up. I'm tired of feeling inferior to him and the last thing I want to do is end up relying on him to beat my brother."

"You're really going to leave me behind so you can chase after Naruto?" the kunoichi asked him. "Am I really that unimportant?"

The next thing Sakura knew, she was face to face with her crush and his lips were lightly brushing against hers. She was not sure who exactly took the initiative, but just a moment later they were locked in one of the most heated kiss either had ever experienced. Well, that's not a very fair statement as Sakura has never actually kissed anyone and the one kiss Sasuke partook of he has been desperately trying to forget ever since.

Both were so engrossed with one another that they failed to hear Sara's sounds of approval. Antonio was about to make an attempt at separating the two, but his girlfriend quickly warned how violent the young kunoichi could get while upset. Antonio quickly resigned himself to waiting until they were finished. When they finished and pulled away from each other for breath, Sasuke had a serious, but saddened look on his face.

"You are not unimportant," he stated flatly. "As far as this band is concerned, you are a necessity that we can't do without. None of us have what it takes to learn your instrument in the amount of time it has taken you and even if we were given years, I doubt we'd be anywhere near as good as you are. If anyone should feel insignificant it should be me. I play guitar and I sing, but I'm not the lead on either. I entered this band as the vocalist but I had to hand that over to the Hyuga girl because I know when I'm beat, even if I don't like it. I can play guitar, but I'm stuck being Naruto's understudy.

"I should feel upset about all of this, but I'm not. As long as we beat everyone else, I'm willing to put my pride aside. But that doesn't mean I want to be a weak link in this chain. If I can do something to improve our chances of winning, don't you think I should do it?"

Rather than answer his questions with words, Sakura placed her hands to his cheeks and brought his face down to hers and planted a soft kiss on his lips. She then walked over to Antonio and out of nowhere socked him in the gut.

"What the hell did you hit me for?"

"That's for stopping us the first time," she stated wrathfully. "Besides, if anything happens to him, now you know what'll be waiting for you."

"So does that mean you'll be handing over control of the leash?"

"I already did."

"Sweet," he said with childish delight. "I promise to walk him, feed him properly, and make sure he gets all the water he needs, but if he starts humping my leg I'll have to put him down. You're lesson with Matt started five minutes ago, so I suggest you skip breakfast and get going. I already arranged for him to take you to the convention the second he feels you've mastered everything he can show you."

Sakura was gone in a pink flash and Sasuke was left wondering if that morning really happened. Readers on the other hand are probably wondering if this repetitive theme of kissing and running is evidence of a darker, more personal element of the author's psyche. DUN-dun-DUN-DUn-Dun-dun.

Some Club…

"I'm not doing it," Sasuke said flatly.

"I never said you had a choice," Antonio replied.

Before entering the bar, Sasuke had no idea what freestyle was. It did not take long for him to realize that he hated the concept and no power short of the hand of god himself was going to change his mind. "All they're doing is talking really fast. I'm not doing it."

"It's more than just fast talking you ignorant bastard. It's also about working the crowd and being able to think on your feet. And I already told you that you don't have any options. If you don't want to participate then you're going to lose in front of a large crowd of people. These same people will probably be attending that battle of the bands you're entering and they're going to tell everyone there how you chickened out of a simple freestyle match. Good luck winning with a rep like that."

Sasuke knew the position he had been forced into and swore that the second the bond was removed from him, Antonio was going to suffer. The real problem Sasuke had with freestyle was that it required him to actually voice his dominance. Usually all he needed to do was smirk and turn his back on whoever irritated him and he had his victory. Now, however, he would actually need to verbally defend his position. One word ran through his mind.

Shit.

The bar was packed with people and Sasuke did his best not to draw attention onto himself until he had to go onstage. Unfortunately, trouble had ways of finding him and it took the appearance of a tall, bulky man itching for a fight. I walked right up to Sasuke and intentionally pushed him without cause. What was really upsetting was that he made it seem as if the young shinobi had been the antagonist, demanding that he 'show some god-damn respect.'

Antonio, meanwhile, had walked off on his own. He was amazed that Sakura had had such a difficult time of controlling the jutsu. The only thing one needed to do in order to extend the distance of the leash was to want the extra space but Antonio figured that that itself was the problem for the love struck girl. There would only be a moment before the amateur free-stylists finished up and left the stage and the next group would have to perform. Antonio hated being the master of ceremonies for events like these but he took it as an opportunity to give Sasuke something constructive to do.

"Ladies and gentleman, Bros and Hoes. Welcome to this week's Freestyle Fight Night, where we pit an up and coming newcomer against one of our seasoned veterans. Tonight's pot is at an unbelievably high ten grand and we couldn't have done it without your drunk asses." A large cheer erupted from the crowd and Antonio had to try not to vomit from the stench of the beer breath. "Tonight we have our returning champion, hoping to continue his unwanted employment, Ricky Ray Damon! Challenging him is a missing-nin from Konoha and prized pupil of the snake devil himself, Uchiha Sasuke!"

Sasuke made his way up to the stage only to find out that his opponent was the very same asshole that had shoved him only moments before. His blood finally began to pump with commitment as he swore not to lose to this son of a bitch. What pissed him off even more was that the bastard was so drunk that he didn't even remember Sasuke.

"Let's make sure you're clear on the rules. This battle will continue until either one of you chokes so badly I have to stop before you embarrass yourself any further. After that we leave it up to the audience. Now that that's out of the way, gave us something worth ten grand and man the best man win."

Without missing a beat, Antonio was gone and things got started. There was a simple beat and rhythm in the background but it was incredibly hard to hear over the sound of the crowd. What mattered were both the competitor's package and the delivery. Sasuke may have been new to this form of vocals, but he had paid careful attention to the previous battles and understood the concept. It was the reigning champion's right to go first and as much as Sasuke hated the guy, he was not about to break tradition.

Somebody must think I'm acting a fool,

Sending a boy here to do what a man's got to do.

I smoked the masters and stomped on the best,

Should have known I'd be facing the worst of the rest.

Don't think I'll be gentle or play nice with you.

I've scraped bigger bugs from the sole of my shoe.

I'm the best there is son and money is money

And everyone knows you've got to pay for the honey.

Without thinking to much about what he was going to say, Sasuke let the words pour out of him, making sure to work the crowd as well as work his opponent over. As much as he wanted to kixk Ricky Ray's ass, Sasuke knew that if he was going to win, he would need the audience to back him.

I may be new but I've got the flow,

Don't worry about me cuz I'm stealing the show.

Where you've got to pay for a night with a whore,

My wallet stays full when I'm making a score.

Age is irrelevant and let me tell you something.

I've had more looks than you'll ever have coming.

All bark and no bite, like a million dollar poodle

Shame on the mother who pushed you out her-

As expected, Ricky Ray cut Sasuke off. However, Sasuke had succeeded in doing what he had planned: Throw his opponent off guard by making him angry.

The only hole that needs some shuttin' is the one that's flappin' on your face

Boy if you know what's good for you, you'll turn around and walk away.

Crew and blood won't hold me back

When I mess you up and beat you black, jack.

Grown men cry when they see me comin',

There aint a shinobi who won't get to runnin'.

Sasuke was a little disappointed. All he needed was a little push and this so-called battle would be in the bag, but he wasn't expecting for it to be that easy. He took the opportunity to end the match and cut in while the drunken man was thinking.

The only thing running is that mouth of yours,

Shut the fuck up or before I do it by force.

Didn't sell my soul to a snake in the grass,

Just to hear a grown man talk shit out his ass.

These eyes of mine have seen every corner of hell,

Stained red from the blood when my family fell.

You talk big for man who's about to expire,

But I know for a fact you can't handle my fire.

I swore to god and the devil I'd send my brother to my mother,

I don't think they'll mind if I send them another.

Try not to blink when you feel the bloodlust within me

I guarantee it fucker I'm the last thing you'll see.

As Sasuke predicted, his opponent reacted badly and took a swing at him. Sasuke instinctively dodged and grabbed his arm in an attempt to restrain him. However, the vengeful side of him quickly snapped it like a twig and Ricky Ray fell like Goliath, writhing in agony.

"Well, that settles that," Antonio intervened before Sasuke took the chance to do anymore damage. "Since Ricky Ray took a swing at his challenger, the battle ends and now it's up to you assholes to pick a winner. If you want to support your favorite champion who's now crying like a baby, make some noise!" A few members in the crowd clapped and one man let out a supportive 'whoo,' but that was it. "All in favor of making Uchiha Sasuke your new champion scream until your lungs give out!" The whole place exploded in cheers and applause. At this time, the posse of Ricky Ray decided to drag their fallen idol off the stage and take him to a hospital.

Antonio walked up to Sasuke with a suitcase and a proud smile on his face. "You're what they call the complete package, you know that?"

"Not really."

"You've got the looks and charm that drive the ladies wild, but you maintain a level of masculinity that draws in a male audience. Most bands attract one or the other, but the really successful ones are those that attract both sides. It's no wonder you have so much support from the pros. They see the potential in all of you."

"Hmph."

"Oh, and Sasuke," after catching the Uchiha's full and undivided attention, he punched him so hard in the stomach that he dropped to his knees. "Don't ever let me hear you saying that you don't matter again. People who doubt their abilities have no place in a band. Do you understand me?"

"You're so lucky this damn jutsu is keeping me in check."

"You didn't seem to mind when it was Sakura pushing you around."

"You're not Sakura."

"You got that right," he said with pride. "Now let's hurry up and get the hell out of here. These people give me the creeps."


	16. Axe Me: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Here, one really long ass chapter. Hope it was worth the wait. I have to say, I really enjoyed writing this one (even though I know it is riddled with typos, grammatical WTFs, and just plain forgot to write something). My head is spinning so I hope I get some reviews out of this. Since I lost the first ten chapters when my hard drive crashed and I've been too lazy to look them up, I'm finding it difficult to keep details straight. Fortunately, since this fic was a spoof to begin with, there is nothing a little plaid patch here and a piece of leather there can't fix in the pair of jeans that is this fic.

I appreciate my reviewers and to you guys and gals, I especially hope you enjoy.

Axe Me: What's Love Got To Do With It?

Naruto was quite confused with the events of the previous night (well, technically it could be considered really early morning but that was the last thing on his mind). His current traveling companion had taken him to a strip club for 'food,' which subconsciously he considered a bargain. He could eat and, contrary to the manner in which he chastised his perverted instructors, he had the opportunity to ogle many attractive females. The fact that they were naked was an added plus.

Then there was Hinata. Naruto up until that moment had been very perplexed at his love-life, or lack thereof. Since he could remember, the foolish blond boy had been chasing Sakura's skirt relentlessly and only recently had he decided that his was a wasted effort. She was clearly either still clinging to Sasuke or simply could not bring herself to see Naruto in any other way outside a brotherly teammate (the most likely verdict being both). Without a mark to set his sights on, Naruto wondered aimlessly in love, or lust as his hormones preferred. There simply was not a single girl in Konoha who could rustle the butterflies in his stomach the way Sakura did.

Which led him to believe, if only for a moment, he might in fact be gay. His first kiss had in fact been given to a boy, and as the saying went (or did it?) rivals make the greatest lovers. There were indeed fluttering in his stomach the moment his lips met with Sasuke's but that was most likely a gastrointestinal reflex on his part to vomit. Butterflies were much gentler. Haku of course was the first person he recognized as being more attractive than Sakura and it just so happened that he also had a few assets of his own that no normal female specimen came with. Was he…could he possible be…homosexual?

The idea only played around in the poor boy's head for a grand total of 0.00005 seconds but the impact led him to jump into an icy cold shower and spend the entire following weekend looking at the hardest hetero-porn he could find (it was the first time he was ever thankful for Ero-sennin's secret stash..)

His encounter with Hinata destroyed any doubt of his sexuality (although for a brief moment he panicked over her gender…who could blame him given his experience). Sure, in some ways he still thought she was strange, but there was an appeal to the queerness of her character which gave her a certain charm.

She was actually very attractive, though Naruto could hardly be blamed for not seeing it. The Hyuga girl had covered up almost every inch of her body so that the most pronounced feature was her eyes (and after seeing the same eyes on one Hyuga Neji, it would prove difficult to be drawn to them.) Truth be told she had a knockout figure, which was apparent right before the concert and became irrefutable in her skimpy waitress outfit.

The kiss had felt awkward, it being their first and all, but Naruto could not be blamed for enjoying what he could. Her warm and soft lips against his, the tickling sensation of her breathing, and Naruto felt a something very strange when he realized that Hinata was not pulling away from him. Oh yeah, it was the familiar rustling of butterflies.

"I've got to tell you kid," the voice of Bill interrupted Naruto from his fantasy, "you have got to be the worst traveling buddy I've ever had to walk with."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"We've been walking down this trail for the past four hours and you haven't said a word. You've just been staring foreword with your mouth open and that stupid look on your face."

"Hey!" Naruto snapped at the man, almost completely back to his old self. How was it his fault that he could not keep a certain someone out of his brain? Bill let out a small chuckle and the two remained silent for a little while afterwards. The Bill broke the silence yet again.

"She was pretty cute, wasn't she?" he asked matter-of-factly, not really needing an answer but giving Naruto a chance to give one if he wanted.

"Wh-who?"

"Don't play dumb, kid, it's kind of redundant," he said. The perplexed look on Naruto's face led him to release an exasperated sigh. "I'm talking about that Hinata girl, the one with the eyes."

"Oh," Naruto exclaimed. "Yeah, she was. I guess she always was, but I really didn't pay attention."

"Why not? Cute girls like her don't grow on trees, you know."

Naruto scratched his head bashfully, almost ashamed of his answer. "I sort of liked another girl."

Bill stroked his mustache (oh did I forget to mention that small detail?) as he thought. "Did this other girl like you?"

"Not really," Naruto replied as if ashamed of the fact. "We were in a group of three and she liked the other guy."

"Let me guess, the two of you were rivals, right?"

"How did you know?"

"Just a hunch," he said with a know-it-all grin. "It's not uncommon that in groups, people tend to compete with one another. You being a ninja, I would assume that the two of you challenged each other in a number of ways to see who was better."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded in affirmation, "at least I was. Things always seemed to come easy for him and I always had to do my best just to keep up."

"Did he like this girl?"

"He always seemed like he didn't care. It really pissed me off that he could just turn down Sakura like it was nothing." He paused for a couple of seconds before adding in a low growl, "That bastard."

"I see," Bill said, scratching at his mustache once again. "Is it possible that you were using this Sakura girl as a way to beat your teammate?"

"Of course not!" Naruto's face was flushed red as he answered. "I really liked her!"

"Then what exactly did you like?"

"Well, she's kind, and confident, and strong," The blond teen said.

"Is that it? Anyone can pick a few flattering words to describe someone, but that's rarely how a person really is. A friend of mine once described his wife as this caring woman and I believed him until I met her. The first thing she did when my friend introduced us was spit on his face for bringing an unwelcome guest. It surprised the hell out of me that she would do it right in front of me, but my friend had convinced himself that she was his ideal girl."

Naruto thought for a moment and saw the truth about what he said. Sakura was generally a kind person but she could be very violent at times (he had firsthand experience with that). She was strong in terms of brute strength but even he had to admit that within their three-man team she did have trouble keeping up. She also appeared very defeated when she was unable to keep Sasuke in the village. Sakura may have appeared confident at times, but there were instances where she seemed very frail. There was nothing bad about the 'real' Haruno Sakura, so why was it that Naruto needed to describe her in such a way other than the truth to 'like' her.

Then he remembered…

"There was this one time when we first became a group. I was pretending to be Sasuke so that I could get close to Sakura. Everything about her at that time seemed to be glowing and I remembered that that was the moment I decided I really liked her. I remember my heart was beating really fast when she was about to kiss me, but I-" Naruto was interrupted when Bill's fist smacked him on the head. "What was that for!"

"What you did was pretty stupid," he said in a stern voice. "Of course she would seem that way if she thought she was talking to the boy she liked. And of course you'd feel excited about being kissed by a girl. The point is none of that was meant for you. You could really hurt someone doing what you did and it's a good thing she never found out."

"How do you know she never found out?"

"You're alive and in one piece."

"Oh."

"I'm not saying your feelings were insincere, just a little misguided. It's obvious you and her are on friendly terms and you may have had a real crush on her, but that was probably all it was going to be. Still, didn't you think it was odd?"

"Think what was odd?" Naruto asked, wishing to any higher power that would hear him that this man would stop asking stupid questions and just say what was on his mind.

"That your white-eyed friend was glowing whenever she looked at you."

It did not occur to Naruto until that moment that Hinata had been acting in the same way that Sakura had when he was pretending to be Sasuke. The only real difference was that Naruto had still been Naruto at the time. Could it be that Hinata actually like him?

He did not get much time to think it over as Bill motioned to a clearing in the forest. Just beyond the opening was a village that seemed to be in the middle of preparing for something big. Even from their current distance, the sounds of workers diligently going about their business, as well as the shouts from the surveyors giving out orders could be heard. Whatever was going to happen here seemed big.

There was no formal border to speak of; no guards to halt the pair's entrance into the village. This did not mean that their arrival went unnoticed.

"Hey everyone," one of three woman carrying a large banner shouted. "Lord Okayama is back!"

"LORD!" Naruto shrieked as he turned to Bill with a surprised look.

The older man just smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "Did I forget to mention that that I was one of the village chiefs? I could have sworn I told you. Allow me to reintroduce myself. I'm Bill Okayama, one of three village chiefs in this peaceful village. I hope it doesn't come as too much of a shock but it makes sense if you think about it."

"How!"

"Well," he said, "how else would I be able to set up something like this?"

"I just assumed you were loaded!"

"Hmmm," he hmmm-ed. "I guess I am."

Meanwhile, In That Same Village…

Shino was actually glad that Mika, his older girlfriend, decided it was time to leave the house for a while. A friend of hers had told her about a contest for a legendary guitar from Konoha and she thought it might interest Shino being a ninja from said village. Shino was overjoyed for sex and thought it was the greatest activity one could participate in, but he was beginning to forget about the world outside Mika's lovely room.

It had also been a while since the last time Mika set foot outside her secluded house and into a public setting. The eyes from the all the perverted men and curious adolescent boys gawking at her made her feel exposed, but to her surprise many of the more devious men (the ones with wandering hands) found themselves writhing in pain on the ground. When she saw the small trail of insects leaving the fallen bodies, she smiled at her slightly shorter man and wrapped her arm in his.

Things were going smoothly until they accidentally bumped into two men as they turned a corner.

"Why the hell can't you watch where you're going!" Mika was surprised that the angry raven-haired boy (who seemed to be the same age as Shino) seemed more upset with his companion than with those he had bumped into.

"Well if someone would just shut the hell up once in a while I might have an easier time paying attention!"

"It's not my fault you have no idea where you're going!" the boy shouted angrily. "I swear when I find that dobe-"

Shino took this opportunity to interrupt. "…" (What about Naruto?)

The two young men finally turned to acknowledge the voice addressing them, and the eyes of the boy with cockatoo haircut went wide. "Shino!" he shouted with familiarity. "What the hell are you doing here!"

"…" (I was just walking around with this lovely lady when we bumped into you.)

Sasuke stared at the girl indifferently and then turned back to Shino. "And who exactly is she?"

"…" (Well, she's my girlfriend.)

This time Sasuke lost all composure. The stranger next to him was equally dumbfounded because the same thought was running through his head as he and Sasuke shouted simultaneously.

"She's your _WHAT!"_

"…" (Shut up. Now what were you saying about Naruto? And where is Sakura? She should be with you.)

"Sakura transferred the jutsu to this asshole," Sasuke gestured towards the young adult next to him.

"I'm Antonio," he bowed politely to the couple but stepped forward to whisper to the Mika. "Isn't he a little young for you?"

Antonio, and Sasuke as a result of the special jutsu, was on the floor patting and scratching himself all over. Shino may have been a patient shinobi but he was rather vengeful. Mika on the other hand only hugged her hubby's arm tighter.

"He may be young but he's a lot better than most of the men I've met. If he's this good now then I guess I have a lot to look forward to in a few years," she said with a blush.

Several disturbing mental images entered Sasuke's head and he heard a voice screaming in his head, _No! Insect boy beat us to it! It's not fair! _Both thoughts led him to concentrate on the pain of the insect stings rather than the conversation.

"…" (If you want them to stop Uchiha, you better tell me what Naruto has to do with you being here.)

"Only if you promise not to talk about the details of your relationship with her. I don't think I could live through it." Shino agreed with a cocky smile on his face, though no one could see it through the high collar of his jacket. "Alright, I heard that Naruto was going to be competing in a contest for the Fourth's guitar. That's why I'm here."

Shino was a little surprise by the news but he released the two as promised. Sasuke was just glad that Shino was going to keep his mouth shut about his conquest.

"So this scrawny kid is actually a good lay," Antonio said as he examined Shino. "I didn't mean any disrespect; I was just a little surprised. She's quite a catch."

"…" (Damn straight.)

"I think I'm the one that lucked out," Mika added. "I had no idea I could bend that way."

If Sasuke had a knife, he would have stabbed himself. He didn't know what bothered him more: That Shino had sex before him or that his partner was being so forward about their little adventure. Shino noticed the look on the Uchiha's face and spoke to him privately.

"…" (What are you so depressed about? You've had plenty of chances to get laid. Don't get mad at me because I took advantage of mine.)

"I'm not depressed, it's just," Sasuke could not find the words to express what he wanted to say. Instead he unintentionally blurted out, "What's it like?"

"…" (Let me see if I can put it in words you can understand. Imagine taking a kuai and then repeatedly stabbing your brother over and over again, each time hearing him scream in pain, until he's finally dead. Then two minutes later you get to kill him all over again in a different yet equally painful way.)

The look in Sasuke's eyes widened in wonder and a single thought crossed his mind in a childlike voice.

I want to have sex.

Some Important Looking  Village Building…

Naruto was sitting in a lounge with nine other people, most in possession of a guitar. Bill, or Lord Okayama as the villagers called him, had stepped into an office to take care of a few village matters before he addressed the participants of his little game. There were two girls in this competition, which didn't really surprise Naruto except that they were becoming incredibly friendly with one another. Naruto was about to ignore it when they started making out. This instantly caught the attention of everyone in the room.

Naruto remembered Jiraiya calling it a forbidden fruit any man would be lucky enough to take a bite out of.

No shit.

One girl had short hair with a blue streak running down the front of her face. She turned to the crowd and gave them the finger. She then continued to passionately lock lips with her long haired partner. Not wanting to rub them the wrong way (though every other guy in the room was hoping to get the chance) Naruto decided to practice a little before they had to go on stage. Taking out his guitar, he tuned his instrument and strummed a few chords looking for inspiration.

He thought of Hinata and their first kiss. Without even thinking about it the chords he strummed became a heartfelt riff which conveyed to everyone in the room the same feeling he had at that moment when their lips met. Just as his insides felt like they were melting at that time, so too did the insides of everyone in the room. The other girl, the one with long brown hair that was tied back into a ponytail, let out a soft moan as she listened to the blonde's solo. The short haired girl's cold demeanor also seemed to melt with the notes of his song. The male competitors, though seemingly indifferent, were beginning to feel the pressure.

When he finished, Naruto had a satisfied look on his face and was a little surprised to find that he was in a room full of people. He was so engrossed in his music that he forgot where he was. The short haired girl with the blue streak grabbed the hand of the other girl and slowly led her to Naruto.

"Hey that song was incredible," she said with a wink. She stepped behind the girl with long hair and wrapped her arms around her delicate waistline. "Mitsu and I haven't heard anything that hot in a long time. Makes me feel all warm and tingly inside."

"You're welcome," Naruto replied nervously.

"We were just wondering," she paused to nibble the ear of the girl named Mitsu who let out another deep moan, "if you'd like to join us in the other room for a little quickie. Competitions like these are pretty nerve racking and a little stress relief goes a long way."

Naruto nearly fell off the couch. His first reaction would have been to grab the two girls and carry them simultaneously into the said room. Then he remembered what his song had been about and what he had felt as he played. How could he hope to explore, at the very least discover, his feelings for Hinata if he just jumped into something like that with complete strangers.

Seeing the boy's hesitation, the short haired girl decided to through more wood in the fire hoping to smoke the fox out. The short haired girl was well proportioned and had a sex appeal different from what Naruto was used to. If Naruto had to describe it, her appeal was a cross between Anko's sadistic yet seductive nature and Ten-Ten's tomboyish attitude. She was well proportioned with a decent chest size and the fullest lips he had ever seen. The way she licked them sent chills down Naruto's spine.

Mitsu on the other hand was a feminine beauty that was always turned on. Her moaning and trembling had less to do with the short haired girl's advances (though they did not go unappreciated) and more to do with her lack of an off switch. Her chest was slightly bigger than her partner's, but she remained very sensitive in that area. Naruto was finding first hand just how sensitive.

With both hands, shorthair girl began to trace circles over the thin shirt covering Mitsu's chest. Mitsu gasped at the titillating sensation as her nipples hardened, becoming visible through the fabric. Something else was becoming hard and visible, but Naruto made sure to hide the one instrument with another, placing his guitar to cover his shame. Unfortunately, the long haired girl knew all to well what he was hiding. "Come on," she said, "We'll be more than worth it. If you're good we may even call you back for more."

**Don't be a fool, kid**, said the Kyubi. **Two mates are always better than one.**

_But what about Hinata?_

**She is an attractive human but these two are beyond comparison. If you do not take their offer, there will be trouble between us.**

Naruto gave it some thought before coming to his decision. "I'm afraid I'll have to pass," The Kyubi may have had a point, but it was hardly something Naruto could support. "The song I played was about how I feel for a girl I'm close to. I wouldn't be able to look at her with a straight face if I did something like that."

**You ungrateful idiot!**

The shorthaired girl was stunned, to say the least, but she kept her composure. "Suite yourself kid," she said calmly. "We were just bored and looking for something to do, but that kind of kills the mood. My name's Yuko by the way. If you change your mind feel free to let us know."

As they walked away, Yuko made a point to sway her ass seductively from side to side to catch the blonde boy's attention. It worked like a charm, leaving a part of Naruto regretting his decision. The Kyubi, however, was furious.

**Explain yourself kid!**

_I couldn't just throw away what I might have with Hinata. No one's looked at me the way she does._

**There were two females looking at you just a minute ago!**

_They were horny. It's not the same. Besides, aren't we competing against them for this legendary guitar of the Fourth?_

The Kyubi was silent, meaning Naruto was on to something.

_Isn't it possible that they were only pretending to be interested so that they could have an advantage in this game? And since when did the great and powerful demon fox decide that it was okay to be some girls' bitch?_

**The Kyubi is no one's bitch!**

_That's right! And you know, _Naruto pushed on, _if things ever do go anywhere with Hinata and if we ever get that far, I could always teach her Kage-bunshin._

**Hmph, I guess you aren't as stupid as you look. In that case make sure she has enough stamina to maintain four clones. You need the exercise.**

Naruto was slightly puzzled about what he was getting at but his thoughts were interrupted by a friendly, though somewhat energetic voice.

"I can't believe you actually managed to turn down those two," said a spiky haired guitarist with brown eyes. "Most guys would have given their left testicle for a minute with them. That girl of yours must be pretty special."

"Yeah," Naruto said as his thoughts went back to Hinata. "She is."

"I'm Yuichi by the way," he extended his hand as a friendly gesture. "Nice to meet you rookie."

"My name is Naruto," he said with a growl, not liking the epithet. Fortunately, Yuichi wore a very disarming smile which told Naruto that he meant no disrespect by it. "Do you know those two?"

"You bet," he said excitedly. "The three of us grew up here. I've known those two since we were still in diapers. In fact, the three of us picked up our first guitars on the same day. I wouldn't say we're close but I'm probably the only guy they willingly talk to."

"So have you ever…" Naruto's sentence trailed off, hoping Yuichi understood what he was about to ask.

"That would be a no," he said, sounding disappointed for the first time. "There's only one way to catch their interest and that's with a guitar. I've been playing for as long as I can remember, but I'm not skilled enough yet for them to be interested. I'm a little jealous though. As far as I know, you're the first guy they've ever approached. What's this girl of yours like?"

"Well, we aren't dating or anything, but I get the feeling she might like me. She's always been supporting me from the shadows, whether I noticed it or not. She may not be very strong as a ninja but you just can't help admiring how hard she tries. She's quiete and a bit weird, but there's this side to her that just makes you want to smile. It's hard to describe in words, but if you heard the song then it should be easier to understand."

After saying all of this, Naruto was amazed at how easily the words flowed out of him. It was so different from the way he had described what he liked about Sakura. He didn't have to stretch the truth or lie in order to convince himself of his feelings. Yuichi only closed his eyes and smiled.

"Yeah, I understand completely," he said as he stared at the two girls who had returned to their couch. "Feelings like those are priceless. I hope you get a chance to tell her how you feel."

Naruto caught the look in his eye when he glanced over to spy on the two girls and a sly smile appeared on his face. "Hey, do mind if we play until they get things started? It's pretty boring doing nothing."

"Of course I'll jam!" he shouted, returning to his previous behavior. "That's what we're here for after all."

In a flash, Yuichi had his guitar and mini-amp out. Naruto could not help but notice the artistic design on the guitar body. It was dark blue with a shimmering silver hieroglyphic border, but the most noticeable feature were the two woman painted near the lower left curve. One woman, who had short hair, appeared to be lying with her back near the silver border. The other girl, one with flowing long hair, was nestled within the bosom of the other. Naruto chuckled to himself.

After a few minutes of playing, it became apparent that Yuichi was much more knowledgeable than Naruto of the different genres of guitar styles and their respective sounds. Fortunately, Yuichi was more than willing to share what he knew. The others in the room thought he was an idiot for aiding an opponent, but Yuichi merely scoffed at them. "What's the point of winning without any decent competition," he said.

In the short time they had, Yuichi showed Naruto different scales and harmonies from various styles of music. He played some classical, punk, vintage metal, heavy metal, soul, blues, and anything else he could think of. While he was taking in everything he could, Naruto caught glimpse of the look on Yuko's face. Had she been looking at him, Naruto would have been incredibly uncomfortable but he was relieved to find that she had her eyes on Yuichi. However, when Yuichi turned to see what Naruto was looking at, she quickly turned her head and returned her attention to Mitsu.

Having seen it twice before, that look was unmistakable.

"Alright everyone," came the announcement. "Now that the ten of you are all here and the three village chiefs are finished with their affairs, we'll begin shortly. First, allow me the honor of extending my congratulations to all of you. Out of all the guitarists in this country, it has been decided by trained ears that you ten represent the best there is. You will also be competing for a legendary treasure few have the opportunity to glimpse.

"The next item on the docket is the elimination of two of you. Because this competition has been arranged as a tournament, only eight will be able to move on to the first of three rounds. You will be judged by the village chiefs themselves from start to finish, so please put your best foot foreword.

"Uzumaki Naruto and Sanzaku Yuichi, because the two of you were the only ones actually playing your instruments during the wait, it has been decided that you will automatically advance."

"That's bullshit!" came one of the guitarists who had been waiting patiently. "How the hell does jamming for a few minutes give them the right to move on!"

"The Fourth Hokage was not a man who would sit around idly waiting for something to happen. Since you are competing for his instrument, it is expected that you live up to his standards, if only for the duration of this competition. Naruto and Yuichi used their extra time to hone their skills further while the rest of you sat by waiting for us to tell you what to do. If you think that this decision is unfair, then show us with your skill."

The angry man took his seat scowled at the competitor in front of him.

"Now then, the first man to be examined will be Satoshi Shuya," the announcer said. A cocky young man with blue hair stepped forward.

"That's me. I just need you guys to hook me up with an instrument. I left mine at the hotel."

"Well, if that is the case then I'm afraid to say that you have been automatically eliminated."

"What?"

"If you don't have the sense to bring your own guitar to something this important then you have no right to hold the prize let alone the chance to win it. If you do not leave immediately I will have the guards escort you out." Satoshi Shuya wisely left.

One by one, the seven remaining guitarists went into the chiefs' office to play for two minutes at a time. It was unsure what the requirements were, so everyone went in assuming they were supposed to play what the old men wanted to hear. When everyone was finished, the announcer once again addressed everyone and revealed that a Nanamura Koji had been eliminated. Unfortunately, he had played a piece that was not his own thinking the judges were looking for quality over originality.

The next step was to separate the competitors into their individual slots on the tournament bracket. Drawing names out of a box, it was decided that in the first round of eliminations, Naruto would be up against the jack-ass from before (the one pissed that he had been advanced), Yuichi would be competing against Mitsu, then two other guys he hadn't noticed until then, and finally Yuko's match. If Naruto managed to win this first round, he would either be facing the hyper Yuichi or the voluptuous Mitsu.

Needless to say, Naruto was getting excited.

Somewhere in a Crowded Audience…

Sasuke was irritated by his situation. To begin with, he was being led around by Antonio. In some ways this was a relief since it did not involve him being pummeled every ten minutes for things he did or did not do. However, Antonio was making conversation with Shino's new lady friend and it was not a topic he cared to listen to. Unfortunately, Antonio was being a dick about the distance he was allowed to travel.

"So how exactly did your first night together go?" he had asked, leaving Sasuke covering his ears and making sounds to drown out the details. What really bothered him was when Antonio and Shino began exchanging tips and suggestions as to how to keep the sex interesting. It was not so much that he found it offensive, but the whining voice in his head was becoming unbearable.

There was a commotion coming from the people behind them that caught their attention. Something in Sasuke told him it would be best not to turn around, but the proud Uchiha listens to no one, not even himself. As he turned, he heard a great many people clear out of the way. His eyes immediately saw why. There, in the center of the newly formed space, was a completely naked Sakura wearing nothing more than a bongo, hanging from her neck by a leather strap, and a smile. However, the curve of her lips did little to deceive Sasuke as to how truly pissed she was.

Even the untrained civilians around her could feel the deadly aura surrounding her.

"There you are Sasuke," she said in an agitated tone. "I've been looking everywhere for you two."

"S-Sakura," her teammate stammered. "Why are you naked?"

"Oh," she began, a vein throbbing in her forehead. "The last part of my lessons involved me burning my clothes before playing every drum imaginable. It was actually fun until it ended and I got thrown out onto the street in the nude. I tried going to your house Antonio but apparently Sara left to visit relatives and took all her clothes and yours for some reason."

"Is it laundry day already?" Antonio said nervously, "It must have slipped my mind."

"I couldn't ask anyone in your village so I decided to get here as fast as I could, hoping the two of you would be somewhere near an entrance waiting for me. I guess I was asking too much. In the end I said to hell with it and swore to kill the first person to make a pass at me."

Mika looked through one of the bags Shino was carrying for her and pulled out a pair of panties (they were black with a skull on the front) and a really large t-shirt. She handed them to Sakura with an admiring smile. Sakura thanked her and after quickly getting dressed asked who she was.

"I'm his girlfriend," she said as she hugged Shino intimately. Sakura's jaw dropped.

"I don't mean to interrupt," Sasuke interrupted, "but could we please pass this stupid jutsu back to Sakura."

It may not have been intentional, but Sasuke's words did wonders for Sakura's mood. After having walked through two villages completely naked and then hearing that Shino was going out with such an attractive woman, it was nice to hear that in some way she was wanted by her former crush. Antonio was a little reluctant, not having enjoyed the control the way he had wanted, but in the end Sasuke was once again under Sakura's thumb.

The lights began to die down so that only the stage was illuminated, revealing an average looking male in the center.

"Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to this year's guitar jamboree. We have for you eight of the countries finest guitar players eagerly waiting to perform in front of you in the hopes of winning the coveted guitar of the Fourth Hokage of Konoha himself; an instrument so grand that it supposedly defeated a demon. These eight shining prodigies will be judged by none other than our village chiefs themselves, each one a veteran of the music scene in the Country of Fire.

"Our first judge will be none other than Ron Kitagawa. This gentleman is the founder and owner of one of the largest guitar building workshops in the country, dare I say the world, and has created some of the finest instruments ever touched by human hands. The first guitar he ever made has been recently auctioned off for the price of a small village. His daughter will also be competing here tonight and is one of this village's star candidates.

"The next member of the panel is Jeff Okinamura, named one of the five greatest guitar players in the world. He has played with, taught, or influenced nearly every band currently out there and to this day continues to be a name to remember.

"And finally, we have Bill Okayama. A talent scout in his early days, Lord Okayama was responsible for finding and signing some of the most prolific and influential bands of his time and ours. One of the greatest names under his belt is Fallen Shinobi, and although they have long since left in order to create music under their own name, they still perform for this village as a personal favor to their former manager. It is also through this man that we are able to offer such an astounding prize today.

"Now that the introductions are out of the way, let me briefly explain the rules. There will be a total of three elimination rounds: Quarterfinals, Semifinals, and the Finals. Eight will be reduced to Four, Four to Two, until only one remains. There will be no loser's bracket and all rulings are final.

"To ensure each match is fair, judges will abstain from interfering and will only intervene if foul play is suspected. Matches are simple. One competitor will play a brief piece, to which his or her opponent must match and then challenge with one of their own. This will continue until a competitor is unable to reproduce the opponent's piece. No piece is required to be an exact duplicate of the opponent's, but styling and overall consistency must be intact. Disputes will be settled by the judges."

"Now, for the first match we have Kasukabe Ryo against Konoha's own Uzumaki Naruto. Participants, please come forward."

Sasuke and Sakura were a little nervous about seeing their idiotic teammate competing in a tournament against so-called guitar elites. It was not that they lacked faith in his skill. Truth be told they thought he had an outstanding chance of winning. What they were worried about was their idiotic teammate making a complete ass of himself and subsequently embarrassing his village and everyone connected to him. Their fears increased when his opponent leaned in close and seemed to grunt something at the blond teenager.

Fortunately Naruto seemed to keep his cool and proceeded with the competition. His opponent went first and despite his early superior display, played nothing more than a simple riff. Naruto easily replicated it in its entirety and followed with a piece of his own. His was not so simple. Kasukabe Ryo's string snapped as if it had no intention of allowing its master the chance to embarrass himself by attempting such a riff.

Naruto had knocked out his opponent in 35.4 seconds flat.

At first everyone was dumbfounded. It was unheard of for someone at this level to get knocked out so quickly. Should they be upset at how disappointing the match was or ecstatic at the young kid's ability? One member of the crowd made that decision for them.

"Way to go Rookie!"

With that, the Konoha villages were awoken from their stupor and joined in on the cheering. They were immediately followed by Antonio and Mika which provoked the remaining two hundred audience members to explode in excitement as well. Naruto took a bow and threw a victorious fist at the crowd along with one of his characteristic grins.

Sasuke kept an eye on the owner of the voice that had been the first to congratulate his former comrade. He ignored the announcer but kept in mind that the next match was about to begin. He watched as the young man with spiky hair made his way up to the stage. Sakura also noticed this and felt ashamed that a complete stranger, a rival even, had been the first to applaud Naruto's accomplishment while his friends and comrades had just stood there in disbelief.

The young man's opponent was a fairly attractive woman about his age. She was behaving very strangely, like an animal in heat, but held her guitar with an amazing air. The man bowed courteously to the girl and took his guitar in hand. He had a sage-like appearance on his face, remarkably different from the childlike expression before. Everyone in the crowd knew that this match was going to last much longer than the previous one.

The girl was chosen to go first and her piece was classical but dark. It began at a slow tempo but quickly increased, only to slow down abruptly on lower notes. The tempo increased again, but rather than having the notes increase in pitch, she continued to play using the bass strings. The man, Yuichi, matched the piece flawlessly and chose an original blues piece. This too, though advanced, was easily duplicated by the girl.

The two of them went on for another twenty minutes, neither seeming to grow tired of the exchange. The complexity of their pieces was also increasing, making it hard for the audience to comprehend though not taking away their ability to appreciate the music. The girl, Mitsu, was growing increasingly excited and many of the women in the audience feared that she was on the verge of shaming herself in front of everyone. The males of the crowd simply drooled.

Finally, the girl played a riff that caused the man to stumble. It was not enough to call the match so Yuichi managed to recover and finish the piece. The young man now found himself in a dilemma. After nearly half an hour of play, he had just given away his weakness to his opponent and if he did not come up with something, he was finished.

He asked the announcer if he could say a few words to Mitsu before he began his next piece. After discussing it with the judges, Yuichi was handed the microphone.

"I was hoping that I wouldn't have to use this until I faced Yuko, but I just wanted you to know that it means just as much for me to play it for you."

Yuichi returned the microphone and after taking a deep breath, returned his fingers to their instrument. The riff that followed was a cool and soothing one. It seemed divine in nature with a hint of carnal pleasure. The sound seemed to have the ability to please as well as to admonish one from all sin. His fingers were difficult to keep up with but despite the seemingly chaotic movement of his hand on the fret board, the piece was smooth.

It was having an unusual affect on Mitsu. Where once she seemed on the verge of climax, she now had tears in her eyes. It was uncertain to anyone whether they were of sorrow or joy, but the slight smile on her face hinted at the latter. She dropped to her knees as if she was on the verge of prayer. Whether she could have reproduced the piece or not was irrelevant. It was clear that she had no intention of continuing.

There was another roar from the crowd as Yuichi was announced the winner. The spiky haired guitarist went to the kneeling girl and offered his hand. Mitsu seemed confused at first by the gesture, but upon seeing the smile on Yuichi's face, she warmly accepted it.

Sasuke watched as Yuichi walked off the stage and into the front of the crowd. There he saw Naruto happily congratulating him on his victory and Yuichi doing a poor job accepting praise. The Uchiha then caught the serious expression on the usually upbeat and energetic guitarist's face as he said one sentence to Naruto.

'Don't hold back,' he said. While Sasuke could not exactly hear him from the distance between them, he did have enough confidence in his lip-reading ability. He must have known that Naruto was the kind of person who restrains himself when dealing with people he likes and knew that he would not want to take advantage of the ace presented to him.

The next two matches were nothing to be amazed by. The match that followed was acceptable in terms of the competition, but it lacked the excitement of the previous ones. The next round was interesting for two reasons. The first was that Kitagawa Yuko, the daughter of one of the lord's, was competing. The second was that she managed to take her opponent out in even less time than Naruto. Sakura was worried for her blond teammate. Even if he managed to beat the guitarist with the spiky hair he would have difficulty beating this Yuko person.

As the Semifinals began, Sakura was the only member of her group who appeared nervous. What she failed to notice was that Yuichi had made a mistake in letting his match go on for so long. In doing so he revealed his Achilles' heel not only to Mitsu, but to every competitor he would have to face. Naruto, as clueless as he was at times, did not miss this detail.

"Now for the first round of the Semifinals," came the announcement, "Uzumaki Naruto and Matabe Yuichi, please return to the stage."

"Naruto!" Sakura shouted from her place in the crowd. "Don't you dare lose to that spiky haired dork!"

Naruto heard the familiar voice and after briefly surveying the crowd caught site of his friends. Like the carefree kid he was, he waved to them with a toothy grin. Yuichi was a little insulted but after noticing the Konoha headband understood her enmity towards him.

It was decided that Naruto would be going first. Taking the Kyubi's guitar in hand, he played a riff similar to the one Yuichi had stumbled on during his battle with Mitsu. This immediately put Sasuke and Shino's fears to rest. Naruto was taking this match seriously.

Yuichi made it through with little difficulty. He had his reasons for wanting to win and was not about to be done in so easily. Unfortunately, if he did not beat Naruto quickly, he would eventually get caught with his pants down. Who would have thought that a hybrid between blues and metal would prove to be a challenge for him? He specialized in them both separately.

Yuichi countered with one of his own unique creations similar to the one he used against Mitsu. The crowd was extremely moved by the piece and many were already thinking that the match was over. However, Naruto reproduced it flawlessly. Yuichi was stunned.

Naruto once again went for another blues metal combo, this time complicating the rhythm and making the notes difficult to follow. Yuichi was amazed at how talented this newbie was turning out to be. It had only been an hour or two since they had jammed and he had shown him all those different rhythms and scales for the first time. Now he was playing them as if he was born knowing.

He tried coming up with the sickest sounds he could muster but it seemed that Naruto could reproduce anything he threw at him in much the same way Sasuke could copy justsus with his sharingan.

Finally, Yuichi stumbled and was unable to recover, completely losing track of the rhythm of Naruto's newest piece. The crowd erupted in applause for the blond boy's victory. Yuichi felt like an amateur playing for the first time. It was a little unsettling but he was proud that in some way he had contributed to the victory.

Naruto extended his fist to his former opponent and new friend. Yuichi gladly punched it in congratulations. The crowd erupted once more at such a heartwarming display of good sportsmanship.

The two left the stage and Naruto decided to introduce Yuichi to the rest of his group. He was also hoping to see a certain someone.

"Hey," he shouted as he made his way through the huddled masses. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to see you perform, dumb-ass," Sasuke grunted. "Why the hell else would we be here?"

"It's great to see you to, you red-eyed bastard," Naruto replied confidently, as if nothing could shatter his good mood. "So what did you guys think?"

"…" (Impressive. Especially considering that you've only been playing for a short time.)

"Really?" said the attractive girl holding onto Shino affectionately. The intimate display was enough to make Naruto's eyes fall out. "That was amazing!"

"You wouldn't happen to be Shino's," Naruto gulped before finishing, "girlfriend, would you?"

The girl simply smiled her answer, which spoke volumes for Naruto. He had learned a lot after traveling with a perverted hermit. He turned to Shino with a devious grin. He quickly grabbed the Aburame in a headlock and gave him a quick noogie. "Shino, you dog! The rest of us are trying to improve ourselves for the Battle of the Bands and you've been doing 'this' and 'that' with _her_!"

"…" (You do not seem to be as surprised as Sasuke was.)

"Why would I be. In fact, I'm happy for you. Hopefully a good roll in the hay finally got that stick out of your ass. Anyways, where's Hinata? She's with you guys, right?" The puzzled look on everyone's faces told him he had jumped the gun. "I guess she isn't. Well, I shouldn't be too surprised. She did seem like she wanted to take her training seriously."

Sakura was the first to notice the discreet look of disappointment on his face. Could it be that something happened between them?

Everyone was so lost in their thoughts that they failed to hear that the next match of the semifinals had already begun.

"Don't worry," she cut in. "I'm sure that if she could she would definitely be here. We'll do our best to cheer you on in her place."

"Thank you, Sakura-chan," he said, sincerely grateful for her kind words. "Anyways, I wanted you guys to meet anew friend of mine. This is-"

"The spiky haired dork," finished Yuichi giving a wicked smile to the pink haired girl. "It's a pleasure to meet you all."

"Ahem," Antonio cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "I hate being the odd man out, but if no one's going to introduce me I'll just do it myself. I'm the guy they asked to baby-sit your friends while they were in my village. The name's Antonio."

"Hey," Yuichi said in recognition. "You're the guy that came here a few months ago to play at one of our concerts, right? My friends and I are huge fans."

"We have a winner! Our hometown girl has dispatched another one in record time." This caught everyone's attention except for Yuichi and Naruto, who were expecting that. "We will be taking a short intermission now to give our finalists a chance to unwind. In the meantime, allow me the honor of introducing Larry and the Cable Guys!"

A chubby man in a baseball cap and a cutoff button down shirt walked on stage. He turned to the audience and in a very hoarse voice shouted,

"Git'R Done!"

The country blues rock coming from the stage was pretty interesting but Naruto said that he wanted to take a walk to clear his head. Shino suspected that his real intention was to look for Hinata, but what could he do? He of all people as her teammate knew that if Hinata could be here she would be.

"Sasuke," Sakura said to her former teammate, "we need to do something for Naruto. He seemed really disappointed when he found out Hinata wasn't with us. It might become a distraction when he has to compete against the girl."

"So what do you want me to do about it?" It was then that he noticed the look Sakura was giving him. The look revealed every little detail of her plan and it sent shivers down his spine. "No. I don't care what you do to me, I'm not doing it."

Shino realized what Sakura was getting at and was impressed with her idea, simple though it may be. "…" (When you think about it you are the only one among us skilled enough to pull it off.)

While flattery was one way of getting to Sasuke, he was adamant in his refusal. There was nothing, as for as he was willing to admit, that would make him go through with it. The music coming from the stage came to an end and the announcer made his appearance as the band prepared to leave.

"I hope you enjoyed that little treat; now for the main course. Uzumaki Naruto and Kitagawa Yuko please return to the stage."

From where she stood below, Yuko hopped onto the stage, which was at least four feet off the ground, with ease. Naruto's arrival was somewhat delayed.

"Would Uzumaki Naruto please come to the stage. Failure to do so will result in your immediate disqualification. Naruto going once, Naruto going twice—"

"Ma-_TE!_" shouted the blonde boy from high above the stage. He leaped from his perch (one of the lighting rafters) performing a multitude of somersaults on his way down. He landed like a cat on all fours, his guitar strapped to his back. As he stood, he wore a cocky grin on his face as if to say to Yuko, "you're going down, bitch!"

Some things never change.

"Now that both participants are here. Let me explain the rules for the finals. The match will proceed in the same manner as the previous rounds, except you will now be required to mimmick your opponents body movements and flair. If you cannot, it will be your loss.

"There will also be a time-limit. If you are unable to force a loss from your opponent in fifteen minutes, you will each be required to perform for three minutes. The piece you play must be unique to you. The winner will then be decided by the audience.

"I wish you both the best of luck and may the best guitarist win."

The Konoha shinobi and the missing-nin of the same village were immediately appalled at the revelation that the audience would be the final judge. Yuko was from the village so she appeared to have an unfair advantage. However, Yuichi reassured them that that would not be the case.

"This village respects only one thing: skill. If Naruto proves to be the better man than they won't hesitate to rally behind him. They have no intention of just giving Yuko the win."

"Just a second, announcer-san," Yuko interjected, taking the microphone. "I want to take this opportunity to raise the stakes of this match. That is, if the little boy here isn't chicken."

She turned to Naruto who was in the process of raising his middle finger. Remembering that one of the judges was her daddy, he thought twice about it. Fuck it, he thought as he gave her the bird.

"Na-ru-to-kun," she said in her usual seductive yet somewhat sadistic tone. "I'm still a little disappointed from earlier. What do you say if I win, you take Mitsu and me up on our offer? Win-win situation if you think about it."

Naruto's hair stood on end at the thought of it, but then it seemed that an idea struck him.

"Alright, but if I win you have to make that same offer to someone of my choosing. And don't think I'm going to let you in on who it is until the very end." Yuko stiffened. "What's the matter? I thought it would be a win-win kind of thing for you too. Or could it be that you're the one who's chicken?"

"Fine," she said. "I don't plan on losing anyway."

To say the audience was confused by the exchange would have been putting it mildly. Sakura turned to Yuichi and asked if he had any idea what was going on. The young man was once again serious as he explained everything that had happened between them earlier.

_Are you serious! _shouted the voice of Sasuke's libido. _That dobe had a chance to experience the most coveted sexual act with two of the hottest babes in the country and he turned them down! He really is an idiot._

_Sasuke, go through with the pink-haired one's plan. It's bad enough that you let Shades beat you to the punch with such a fine piece of tail, but I will kill you if that idiot scores with those two. Do you hear me? Kill you!_

It was one of those rare moments when Sasuke actually agreed with the stupid voice. His pride would not allow Naruto to get that for with two women before he did.

"Sakura," he said, turning to the girl with a stern look on his face. "I'll fucking do it."

By this time, the competition between Naruto and Yuko was well underway. Yuko was not pulling any punches with both her sound and performance style. She was a natural acrobat, jumping, flipping, and swinging her guitar behind her back without so much as missing a beat. However Naruto was just as versatile in his play.

In fact, with his training as a ninja Naruto could have easily performed in ways that Yuko would never have been able to duplicate. However, to him it would have been the same as using the Kyubi to win this battle. A slight handicap couldn't hurt if it was for the sake of fairness. Besides, Naruto had realized something about himself during this competition.

There was nothing he could not play after hearing it once.

However, the same seemed to be true for Yuko as nothing he came up with seemed to faze her. Time was ticking away and neither of them had found a weakness in the other. A spin on the floor was countered with a back flip, which was followed by a between the legs play. Yuko thought that he had him when she played with her teeth, but Naruto had no trouble with it (though it did leave a bad taste in his mouth.)

"Time is up!" shouted the announcer. "That was an incredible display from the both of you, but I'm afraid that neither was able to best the other. Yuko, it has been randomly decided that you will be first. We can give you two minutes to get your thoughts in order, but you may begin anytime before that."

Her reply came in the form of harsh strumming, followed by a heated metal riff. 'Sinful innocence' was the only way to describe the paradox of her sound. The vibrations emanating from the sound system made everyone, whether they were male or female, weak in the knees and it felt as if the song was being played just for him or her. It was a passionate first kiss that promised so much more if you played your cards right. Even Naruto found himself intoxicated by the aura she displayed.

Yuko saw this and licked at the neck of her guitar as she winked at her opponent. Naruto swallowed hard and for just a moment thought that losing might not be so bad. He prayed to God for the strength to resist this temptress but the Big Man himself was preoccupied with his own hum-mina-hum-mina stupor.

The femme fatale finished her song much to the relief of Naruto and disappointment of everyone else. It was now Naruto's turn and he planned on using every second of the two minutes he was allowed.

He was screwed, or he would be quite literally if he didn't think of something. He tried to remember what it was that got him into this competition in the first place, but every time his mind tried to think straight Yuko's teasing wink would pop into his head. He mentally tugged at his hair, not knowing what he should do.

"Naruto-kun," said a hauntingly familiar voice. Now it seemed that his conscience was ready for a piece of him, using the voice of the girl he was about to blow his chances with to rip him a new one. Then he heard it again only much louder this time.

"Naruto-kun!" came the shout. It _was_ real! He searched the crowd for the owner of the voice and found her as she fought her way to the front. Their eyes met as she managed to force her way to the front row. Her white eyes seemed to shimmer as her cheeks tinged with a nervous blush. "Do your best Naruto-kun!"

Whatever spell Yuko placed on him was cleansed thoroughly by the white eyed girl's arrival. The loud blond could not allow himself to lose in front of her. Hinata was really here! A torrent of emotions overwhelmed him. Relief, Joy, Anxiety, Stress, but most importantly he felt determined to do everything he could to impress this girl. Just ten seconds before his time was up, the music began flowing out.

The sound started off slow and soft, similar to a blues style Yuichi had shown him during their wait. However, Naruto was also drawing from what he had heard Yuichi use, though he had modified it enough to consider it his own. The resulting creation conveyed the feeling of what some recognized as first love, pure and innocent. There was a pain involved but it was not an unwanted feeling since it also came with a pleasurable sensation. The women of the crowd were swooning and even the men were able to appreciate it. After all, the swooning women were cradling themselves in the arms of their men.

Then the music began to follow a new direction, transitioning into a punk aesthetic infused with metal elements. The music seemed to be making an attempt at maintaining the harmony of the preceding portion of the song but failing (intentionally) to do so. 'First Love' was falling apart fast and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Many members of the crowd were becoming teary eyed and several men were quickly wiping at their faces before it became too noticeable. Shino was letting it all out for two reasons. (1) Real men cry and (2) it was hard to see because of his dark glasses.

The music slowed and reverted to its original sound only this time it was like a whisper. 'First Love' was over but the notes suggested a chance at something new. Naruto was looking directly at Hinata as the notes flowed from his heart to his fingers, plucking the strings tenderly. Yes, First Love was over and in its place his song had found True Love.

The song ended on a quick crescendo and after everyone in the audience stole a kiss from their significant others, they turned to applaud the young Casanova. Naruto stole a quick glance at Yuko and caught her with her head down. From the way her thumb and index finger were positioned at her nose, many would have assumed she was frustrated over her opponent's performance. However, Naruto had caught the glistening wetness her hand was trying to hide.

"Now comes the moment of truth," shouted the announcer. Bill was making his way onto the stage as well, carrying something in a black leather guitar case. He slowly unzipped the container and removed from it the most pristine guitar Naruto had ever seen. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been fun but now it is time for you to choose this year's winner. First, let's hear it for Kitagawa Yuko!"

The crowd exploded in shouts and screams, several members whistling and howling for the sultry guitarist's victory. Naruto knew it was going to be tough to beat but with Hinata standing right in front of him he was not the slightest bit concerned.

"Now," there was a drum role coming from somewhere as if to increase the tension. "Uzumaki Naruto!"

He did not think it was possible, but Naruto swore that the resulting applause must have woken up half of Konoha. It was deafening and only seemed to be getting louder. It felt as if the stage itself was shaking from the sound. Naruto was beaming.

"That settles it!" the announcer shouted excitedly. If he had been allowed to applaud with the rest of them, Naruto would have been his choice as well. "This year's winner is the blonde wildcard himself, Uzumaki Naruto. Lord Okayama will now present you with the prized guitar of one of the greatest men your village has ever produced. Please, see it safely to its birthplace."

Naruto took the microphone from the announcer and turned to the audience. "I just wanted to thank everyone and hope they had a good time. It was a blast playing for all of you right here on this stage and I hope to do it again real soon. But first," he turned to Yuko, "you and I have some unfinished business."

He handed the microphone back to the announcer and motioned for the fem-guitarist to let him whisper into her ear. Whatever Naruto said must have struck a chord because Yuko immediately turned red at the cheeks.

"_WHAT!_" she shouted loud enough for the entire crowd to hear. Pretty impressive considering the announcer still had the microphone.

"Oh come one," Naruto said with an accusing stare. "You're into guys skilled with a guitar, right? He should be perfect for you."

"That's not the point! He's…he's…"

"Yuko's childhood crush," Mitsu interrupted, sneaking up behind Yuko and wrapping her arms around her. "Actually we both liked him. We didn't want to ruin our friendship so we promised each other that neither of us would go after him. But I think we're both grown up enough to share. Don't you think, Yuko?"

Yuko only blushed furiously while Naruto got a good laugh out of it.

Back in the Crowd…

"Can you please let me turn back now?" Hinata asked uncomfortably. "Naruto already won. There shouldn't be any need for this."

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke," she said to the girl next to her. "When are you ever going to learn that it's not nice to make a girl wait? You took forever to agree to my plan, so now I'm going to take my time before I let you change back."

Sasuke was cursing the newest feature of Tsunade's damn jutsu. Apparently, while he was still able to perform jutsus (like when he used chidori to destroy Antonio's coffee table), Sakura could exert control over such techniques to have him use them the way she wanted. For example, while she had allowed him to turn into Hinata, she was also preventing him from returning to his masculine glory.

"You're cruel, you know that," he said, using Hinata's innocent face to scowl at the girl. Shino could not help but find that confusing.

Somewhere in their argument they had missed the flash of yellow leap from the stage and approach Hinata's stand-in. Naruto did manage to catch their attention when he placed his hands on the false-girl's shoulders and looked tenderly into her white eyes. One incomplete thought was running through everyone's mind.

Don't tell me he's going to—

Everything that was about to unfold did so at the pace of a single word Naruto uttered as he lowered himself to Hinata/Sasuke.

"Hi-" Sasuke stared in horror at the descending mouth. He wanted to react, he tried to react, but it was like it had been when he fought Orochimaru during the Chuunin Exam. He was frozen with fear and this time there was no kunai to get his legs to move. 'Release the goddamn jutsu _now_ Sakura!' he mentally screamed at her.

"Na-" Sakura was in a daze. Was the boy that had chased after her so long finally going for the girl that had her eyes on him? In a way she was happy for the two, but something was not right in her mind. Where was Sasuke in all this? Shouldn't he be with her to witness this? Then she heard his telepathic plea and remembered that she had forced him to henge into Hinata in order to keep Naruto's spirit up. She relaxed control of the jutsu.

"Ta-" Sasuke felt the restraints loosen and was about to release the jutsu in time for Naruto to snap out of it when his eyes caught sight of something all too distracting. The stunning Mitsu and seductive Yuko were escorting Yuichi away, probably so that they could make sweet music together. All three of them were blushing but the smile on their faces made it clear they were going to enjoy a very, very long night. That bastard, Sasuke thought, but then he remembered the current situation he was in. He dispelled the henge in a puff of smoke but it was too late.

_SMOOCH!_

Naruto opened his eyes when he felt the smoke hit his face only to see black eyes staring back at him. Since when could Hinata change the color of her eyes, he asked himself. There was also something frighteningly familiar about the lips against his. Then he noticed that the eyes staring back at him seemed mortified. He removed himself from who he thought was Hinata and took a step back. What he saw sent a single thought screaming through his brain.

NOT AGAIN!

The world erupted in screaming as two teenage boys learned that the worst experiences in life could easily repeat themselves.


	17. Moses Never Had It So Good

I actually finished another one! To whoever said I should make this a lemon, I'm afraid that would spoil the fun I have in teasing the living hell out of my readers. Besides, I'm sure everyone has enough imagination to fill in the gaps with their own perverse scenarios (Naruto tied up and Hinata standing a few feet away with a whip in hand…what?) I decided to post this now because I'll forget later. It's already that time of the semester when I get hit with exams and papers, so I won't be able to update like I want (I'm already slacking off in class for the sake of this and another fic I haven't bothered to post yet).

Sigh. If it weren't for the fact that I love this fic, I would so make you wait until I get more reviews. Fortunately my philosophy on writing is that the only person you have to please is yourself. Unless of course you want to get paid, in which case I suggest you sell out to the highest bidder.

Read and review…If you want me to update despite the shit load of work I have then _please_ review.

Moses Never Had It So Good

It was your normal day in Konoha when Sasuke, Salura, and Shino (along with his smoking hot girlfriend) returned to the village. The birds were chirping, children were playing, Shikamaru was sitting on his ass shooting the breeze, and all seemed right with the world. The party of four breathed a sigh of relief at making it back in one piece and without too much trouble. They were also somewhat glad that Naruto had decided to stay in the village to see what he could pick up in the next day or two. Shino suspected it had something to do with not wanting to be near his teammates after that incident, but he let it go. Now that he had someone of his own, the Aburame felt it was time for everyone else to deal with their own shit.

Even though they had only been gone for a couple of days, it had felt like an eternity. As a result, they felt they needed to take this time to get reacquainted with the world around them.

Shino felt that he was obligated to introduce Mika to everyone important to him. He started by taking her to see the two members of his team still in Konoha. Mika was happy to get the chance to meet them, even if Kurenai and Kiba had been frozen with shock upon seeing her and hearing the word 'girlfriend'. Akamaru was so surprised that he pissed on top of Kiba's head. What a shame that the poor dog-user had his mouth open at the time.

The next stop was a visit home. Shino expected his father to be in and wanted to speak with him alone before introducing Mika.

"…" (Father. Many things have happened these past few days and I…have become a man.)

"…" (You did what! Inconceivable! You know that you are not to seek out women other than those we arrange for you and that is only after you come of age. You are still but a child.)

"…" (She is more than I could ever ask of you, father. Please consider my thoughts on the subject.)

"…" (Don't be ridiculous. You will send her away immediately and that is final.)

"Shino-baby," said a cheerful but concerned voice. Mika had been waiting outside but was worried about what was going on. "Is everything all right? I hear yelling…sort of."

The next thing they knew, Mika had walked into the room, short skirt and a tight t-shirt. Shino's father looked stunned.

…

…

…

…

"…" (Daughter-in-law! How nice to see you!)

Shino groaned at his father's complete one-eighty on the issue, but at least now he had his approval.

Sasuke and Sakura were having a bit more problems trying to understand where they stood with each other. It could not be helped really. When Sasuke left he had utterly crushed Sakura emotionally and she was not about to leave herself vulnerable to let it happen again. Sasuke, on the other hand, was struggling with himself as to how he should approach the situation. He was not in a position to force anything on the pink haired kunoichi with the Fifth's jutsu still in place and he had a feeling that doing so would only result in Sakura further resenting him. The voice in his head may have provided ample support as far as 'going for it' went, but when it came to a suitable tactic to get what he wanted, his mojo was useless.

Instead they decided to practice what they had learned in Antonio's village, Sakura providing a beat and Sasuke just letting words spill out of him. Sasuke even took the opportunity to practice what he learned from watching everyone on stage at the concert. Sakura was amazed that he seemed to be on the same level as the best of them, but how could she expect anything less when he had been using his sharingan the entire time. Music was a good way to kill time and an even better way to clear their heads of all the thoughts that had been bothering them.

The next two days went by fairly quickly and the three members of the band awaited Hinata and Naruto's return as patiently as one would expect of them. They whined and argued, wondering what the hell was taking them so long. Sakura decided to wait for Naruto at the Ichiraku Ramen stand since she figured that would be the first place her idiot teammate stopped by. Sasuke reluctantly agreed to go, feeling slightly hungry as well.

Shino decided he would have a little fun with Mika while they waited.

Walking En Route to Konoha…

Naruto was super excited now that he was heading back to Konoha. He had learned a lot from Yuichi, Yuko and Mitsu (at least when they weren't preoccupied with 'other' things). On top of that, he was going home with a full wallet since people would stop by to listen to him play on the streets. The villagers there were extremely generous, but Naruto had other things he needed to do and a certain someone he wanted to see.

That bastard Sasuke, he thought to himself. He knew that his friends had meant well and that it was an accident, but some things were hard to forgive. That memory was going to haunt him for the rest of his life and seeing Hinata was going to be difficult, fearing Sasuke might once again appear in front of him in a flash of smoke. If Naruto was uncertain about making any moves before, this would only make it worse.

Naruto now carried three guitars with him. The first was the one the kyubi had given him. Naruto had learned to play on that guitar so it would be difficult to just set it aside for any other, even if it did come from a bastard demon. The second, still in the case it had come with, was that of the Fourth Hokage. Naruto was afraid touching it might forever ruin it, so he was hesitant to open it even for a quick glance at his prize. At the very least it was his and that was enough for now. The third one was…a precaution.

"Well, well," came a voice from nowhere. Two figures dropped down from above and landed in front of Naruto. Naruto groaned when he realized that they were two Akatsuki members he had yet to meet. "I see the little novice got his hands on the prize after all."

The one who spoke was a fairly average looking person as far as akatsuki members went. He had what appeared to be a sword or axe that resembled a sequence of sharp fangs. The other was not so normal. His eyes were pitch black and like his jounin instructor, he covered the lower half of his face as if to hide some hideous deformity…or protect his victims from catching a cold before he killed them. He didn't really know.

"What do you two want," Naruto demanded. "I thought granny Tsunade already dealt with you. If you guys want me, then wait until the damn battle. I don't have time to deal with you."

"Who said we were after you," the one with pitch black eyes spoke. "We want that guitar on your back. I can get a pretty penny if I sell that to some rich sleaze ball in another country."

"Which one, exactly?" Naruto asked sarcastically. "I'm carrying three home with me."

"Don't be a smart ass," the normal looking shinobi snarled. "God hates smart asses."

An ominous bolt of lightning struck fairly close to the religious Akatsuki member, as if God was saying, "Mind your own business, jack ass!" The man paid no mind. It happened quite often as you could imagine.

"We want the guitar the Fourth Hokage used to own," spoke Black Eyes. "Hand it over and we won't hurt you."

Naruto thought to himself a moment. "Will you really let me leave in one piece if I give it to you?"

"Well, we could rough you up if that's what you want."

"Point taken." Naruto opened one of the cases to make sure he was grabbing the right one and handed it to the devout shinobi. "There, take it. I wouldn't know what to do with it anyways. Now if you'll excuse me."

Naruto was gone in a flash, off in Konoha's general direction. The Akatsuki members blinked as if they could not believe how easy that had been. They looked at the guitar and for the most part it looked exactly like their contractor had said it would. White guitar with a leaf emblem on the body. However, Black Eyes noticed something that definitely should not have been there.

"Hey," he said to his partner, who at the moment was thanking the Lord for allowing them to succeed in their mission. "Is the back of the guitar supposed to have tons of explosive tags attached to it?"

"No, why?" the other asked, taking a look for himself. His eyes went wide at what he saw. "Oh Sh-"

_SHOOM!_

Naruto laughed his ass off as he saw the mushroom cloud rise in the distance. Who knew Akatsuki members could be so naïve? He was so busy laughing as he jumped from tree to tree that he missed his target branch and went tumbling into a puddle of mud. I guess you can't avoid Karma even if your victims are lowlife criminals.

Naruto got up, but did not get the chance to wipe himself off. A large ball of fire was heading in his direction. He tried to dodge it, but the blaze caught the material of both guitar cases. With lightning fast speed, he rescued his instruments from incineration and made a run for it. The Akatsuki members were in hot pursuit, throwing every long distance jutsu they had in there arsenal to no avail. Normally, it would have been a piece of cake for them to overcome the young ninja in a foot race, but they were pretty badly singed and running hurt.

Naruto was getting hammered by low hanging branches and falling leaves. Still he ignored it and kept running. Konoha would soon be in sight and he knew that the two wouldn't dare approach the village and risk facing the wrath of their leader. He was right. The attacks ceased, but Naruto was not about to risk anything. Even after he caught sight of Kotetsu and Izumo, the two chuunin that had been part of the chuunin exam, he kept on running.

The two chuunin standing guard at the entrance only saw a flash and felt a gust of wind blow by. Kotetsu and Izumo just looked at each other.

"Hey Kotetsu," the chuunin with the bang covering one eye said to the one with the perpetually bandaged nose. "I think I just found religion."

Ichiraku Ramen Stand…

Sasuke and Sakura were eating contently. Neither knew why they had been in such a rush to have Naruto back. Life was peaceful if only slightly boring. Ramen never tasted so sweet. Ayami and her father simply marveled at how in sync the two were. They dipped their chopstick into their bowls at the same time, slurped their ramen in a similar fashion to one another, and even swallowed and sighed happily at the exact same moment.

Just then a figure burst through the curtain acting as the door to the ramen stand. There stood a short figure that seemed to have long, dirty grey hair and an equally unruly beard. In his arms he majestically held two guitars, as if in mock representation of good and evil cradled within human hands. The sunlight shining on the figure in the dimly lit building also added greatly to the holy effect. It was enough to send the old man on his knees in prayer and Ayame singing psalms. Sasuke and Sakura were stunned at the sight of their teammate. What exactly had he been doing these past few days?

Ayame saw that the out of breath person was moving his lips but the words refused to come out. The other customers were as stunned by the sight and began gossiping among themselves.

"Silence," the young woman yelled. "The prophet speaks!"

"Ra…Ra…" he tried to say. "Ramen!"

Sakura fell out of her chair and Sasuke went over and punched the blond in the gut.

The Uchiha Compound…

Naruto awoke feeling a pain in his stomach. Whether it was hunger or if someone had just hit him really, really hard, Naruto couldn't tell. What he did know was that this was not his house and this robe he was wearing, with the odd fan design, was definitely not his.

Seeing Sasuke walk through the door to the room only made things worse.

"Sasuke you bastard!" he jumped out of the bed and pointed an accusing finger. "Not only did you steal my fist and third kiss, but now you're trying to rape me too!"

Sasuke was about to kill his rival when another person entered the room shortly after him. It was Sakura and she was cracking her knuckles. Naruto gulped, knowing what was about to happen to him.

"NA-RU-TO," she growled. She then began to pound away at the poor boy, listing every complaint she had against her teammate. "What the hell is wrong with you! Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting for you to get your ass back here? On top of that you scared half the village Catholic or Jewish! Are you proud of yourself? I hope so because I'm going to be sending you to your god! And what the hell are you thinking? If Sasuke hasn't raped me by now why the hell would he rape you!"

Everyone in the room was stunned silent by that last one. Sasuke was blushing so fiercely that it looked like blood would explode from his ears and nose. Shino, who had been the one to undress Naruto using his insects (they would be holding a grudge for a long time), was now gaping in awe at the revelation.

Despite his injury, Naruto took it as his chance to get a little revenge for the hell she had put him through. "What's this, Sakura? Sasuke not giving you the love and attention you need? Maybe if you weren't so violent, he'd have an easier time getting into your pants. Or maybe," he said with a sly grin, "he really is into me."

That was all Sakura was willing to take. She beat him unconscious and stormed out of the room, dragging Sasuke along with her. Sasuke only hoped that she wasn't about to kill him because of Naruto's words. He at least wanted the chance to rip Naruto's spine out before he died.

Shino was now left alone with Naruto in the remnants of the Uchiha estate. He knew it was downright immoral to be thinking what he was thinking at the moment but he couldn't help himself. He turned to Naruto's near dead body.

"…" (I'm going to get Mika to 'show her around' this place. I'll make sure to bring Tsunade-sama to heal you when we're done.)

Near a Familiar Bench…

Sakura was furious. She knew full well that Naruto had only been trying to get back at her for what had happened to him after the competition, but what he had said really hurt. A part of her really did want Sasuke in the worst kind of way and the fact that Naruto had gone farther with him than she had really bothered her. She sat down, not realizing where she was or what significance the place had for the two of them. Sasuke was not as absentminded.

"This brings back memories," he said thinking back to the day he left the village. "I'm not sure why you'd want to visit a place like this though, seeing as how upset you already are."

Only then did Sakura realize where she was. The very bench she sat on was the same one Sasuke had placed her after knocking her unconscious. The same place she had given him everything of hers and he had flatly rejected her. Why she would wander into a place like this was impossible to determine. However, she immediately wanted to leave.

Sasuke took a seat next to her, which caused her to stiffen. Then he let out a low chuckle which slightly irritated her.

"What's so funny?" she demanded. "I don't exactly remember having any fond memories of this place. You of all people should know that."

He spoke softly as he stared at the bright afternoon sky, "This place is very special to me. It was here I finally made my decision to live my life by the choices I made and not what others decided for me. It was here that life for me really began."

He looked at Sakura and smiled ever so discreetly.

"And it was here that a certain someone made me feel that I was wanted for the first time since I lost my family. You may not believe me but I was happy to hear you say you loved me, even if I didn't really believe it. Leaving was something I had to do, whether you think so or not. You don't know what it's like to lose something so precious and see the one goal you have in life slip further and further away."

"Damn you, Sasuke." Sakura was crying. She'd been crying for a while but she had done so quietly. She no longer showed any restraint. "How do you think I felt when the one person I hoped never to lose just decided that his friends, his teammates, and I weren't important enough for him to stay? How was I supposed to feel when you said I was annoying after I opened my heart to you? I may not know what its like to have my family killed by someone as close as a brother, but don't you dare say I don't understand what it's like to lose something important to me."

Sasuke knew he had walked right into that and actually felt he deserved every word. He knew how she would feel when she realized he was gone but he had left anyways. Killing Itachi at the time had been more important. It still was to some extent, but now he found himself wanting to know what could have been. He took the crying girl and brought her towards him, resting her head against his chest and placing his chin delicately on top of her.

"I'm here now, for however long that may be, and I promise to come back when I take care of my brother. Until then I have no right enjoying a carefree existence. How would I be able to face my clan?" The sobbing became sniffling, which turned into nothing more than heavy breathing. He gently took her chin between his thumb and index finger and brought her face to his so that he would be able to see her beautiful irritated greenish red eyes. "You're not as annoying as I remember. You might be bit violent and still a little immature, but you're definitely not annoying."

In the blink of an eye, Sakura had brought her lips to his in the first kiss (first kiss with a woman in Sasuke's case) either had experienced. Sasuke enjoyed how soft her lips were against his and how warm her body was as she pressed it against him. The sensation of her womanly figure rubbing itself against him was enough to make him lose it.

Everything was exactly how Sakura had hoped it would have been when she had tried to stop Sasuke from leaving. Everything except that it was still daytime and mother's walking their daughters were starting to stare. They didn't care. Sakura was feeling a similar torrent of emotion. Sakura could no longer restrain herself. Whatever the reason, be it hormones, the remnants of a childhood crush, or something more, she had to have him.

"Sasuke," she gasped, the color in her cheeks reddening in an odd fashion. "Do you…you know…want to…you know." She could not bring herself to say more than that. Fortunately, Sasuke caught all the signs and knew exactly what she was getting at.

"Yes," he said quickly. A voice inside him was screaming joyously. _Finally!_

They got up to leave, Sasuke making the bold move of sweeping her off her feet and carrying her like a bride on her wedding night. The truth was he thought carrying her would be the fastest way to go and do what they wanted to do. Their journey was cut short by a masked woman with long purple hair.

"Haruno Sakura," said the woman. "Godaime-sama requests your assistance at the hospital. A building collapsed on top of more than fifty villagers. Every available Medic is requested."

"You've got to be kidding!" Sakura and her inner-self shouted in unison, producing a very frightening sound, even for the ANBU woman. "The day I surpass that woman's strength I'm going to give her a piece of my mind."

Sasuke wanted to cry. Someone upstairs must really hate him. Had he done something terrible in another lifetime or were the sins he committed in this life enough to warrant eternity as a virgin. "Guess it can't be helped," he sighed, "Come on. I'll carry you to the hospital."

Back at the Uchiha Pad…

Shino was a little disappointed that Maki was too busy with a few of the older Aburame women. Well, the part of Shino that desperately wanted to leave his mark in the Uchiha estate in the worst kind of way felt disappointed. The rest of him was glad that his future wife was enjoying his family. No girl he had ever met seemed as interested as she was in the family keepsakes. Most girls ran screaming when they heard that he had a large colony of insects living inside his body. Mika was turned on by it.

Since he could not do what he originally set out to do, he went to the Fifth's office only to discover that every available medic was being redirected to the hospital to handle a village emergency.

Oh well. Naruto would just have to deal with it.

Shino walked into the room to see if he was conscious but the room was empty. Shino knew that the loud ninja had an incredibly fast healing ability, but to be walking around after how the way he had been injured seemed outrageous.

He heard a crashing sound coming from the bathroom. As much as he hated the idea of walking in on someone sitting on the can, that had been an ominous crash. He sent a couple of his minions to survey the damage. They relayed to him that Naruto was fine and had just slipped on a bar of soap.

"…" (This is bullshit. I'm just going to wait for Hinata by the entrance. Hey Naruto! Hurry up if you want to go.)

"Wait, you bastard!" came a shout from behind the door. "At least let me pull up my pants first."

The Same Entrance Where Izumo Found Religion…

Shino and Naruto had decided to relieve the two chuunins that had been guarding the gate prior to their arrival. Giving them a break seemed like a good idea. One of them seemed delusional and was wearing a funny cap and fake beard and sideburns. He was going on and on about prophets and finding God. Shino suspected it had something to do with Tsunade-sama making then do paperwork as well as keeping an eye out for potential intruders.

Poor bastards.

Naruto had brought the guitar the kyubi had given him. He also had with him his prize from the guitar contest, cleaned and resting peacefully in a newly purchased case. However, Naruto had no intention of taking it out of the case just yet. He just didn't want to leave it in that damn Uchiha's house.

The blond was a little nervous about Hinata's arrival. What would he say? They had already kissed once. Would she be offended if he just laid one on her? Probably so. Just because she might like him didn't mean he had the right to be too pushy. Whatever would happen should happen naturally.

"Hey Shino," he said sounding somewhat unsure of himself. "What's Hinata like? She always seems to be near me but I really don't know much about her."

Shino stared at the blond through his dark glasses then returned his gaze to the path his teammate would come by.

"…" (She's quite but kind, and never has a mean thing to say about anyone, even the ones who hurt her most. She's always watching you because she admires your determination. She works hard because she doesn't want to be a burden to her teammates or embarrass her proud clan members.)

Naruto simply scratched his head and laughed gingerly. "You didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know."

"…" (Then you know pretty much everything I do. If you want details, you'd be better off asking her yourself.) Seeing the look of disappointment on Naruto's face he added, "…" (I'll tell you this. She'd be extremely happy to know how interested you are. Kiba and I still don't quite get it.)

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" the blond shouted. He relaxed a little and returned his attention back to the path. "Thank you."

They were silent for a good while.

"…" (Did I really seem like I had a stick up my ass before I met Mika?)

"Not as big as the one up Sasuke's ass."

"…" (Aint that the truth.)

They were getting bored waiting for the white eyed girl to arrive, but neither wanted for her to feel unwelcomed when she arrived. Naruto took out his guitar and started messing with it. He practiced a few riffs he had picked up during the past few days. He didn't feel like putting in any real effort but Shino was still impressed. It made him want to get his bass and jam as well, but his house was on the other end of the village.

There was a whistling sound from above them as Naruto finished his current riff. "Wow Naruto-kun," called a sweet familiar voice. "You've really improved."

The two shinobi looked up and were amazed to see a smiling Hinata sitting above them on the wall. Neither was sure what had surprised them more: her ability to sneak up on them or her bright confident attitude. Either way, both Shino and Naruto were glad to see that she seemed happy. The girl, wearing jeans and a light jacket over a black halterneck bikini top, then stood on top of the wall and cast a mischievous grin towards the blond. Naruto just stood their enjoying the view like a drooling idiot until he realized what she was about to do.

She wouldn't dare, the boys on the ground thought.

They realized she meant business when she came careening down in Naruto's direction, scaring them both shitless. Naruto panicked momentarily and then finally opened his arms to catch the girl. She was light as a father in his arms and the feel of her thin arms around his neck was nice. Naruto spun on the heel of his foot so as not to fall backwards from the additional weight, light as she was. The girl's playful giggle was more than enough for Naruto to forgive her frightening stunt.

"I missed you," she whispered in his ear, her cheek brushing lightly against his. "Na-ru-to-kun."

The usually talkative ninja found himself flustered looking for the words he wanted to say. "I-I," he stammered. "I missed you too, Hinata-chan."

While he was contemplating whether or not he should kiss her, the usually shy girl made the decision for him. Rubbing her nose ever so slightly against his, she placed her lips against his. Then, using her tongue, she teased his mouth open and slid it inside his. Naruto was taken aback at first but was not about to chicken out. That would go against his nindo, which he knew Hinata greatly admired about him. He readily accepted her tongue and used his own to further enjoy the experience.

_Please don't be Sasuke_, he thought. _Please don't be Sasuke, please don't be Sasuke, please don't be Sasuke, please don't be_…

Shino was thoroughly repulsed. It was one thing to do it; it was quite another matter to stand there and watch. He would have to apologize to Sasuke later, as much as it pained him. He caught sight of someone walking in their direction from inside the village. The woman began waving at him.

"Shino-kun!" Mika shouted. "The women went back to their husbands. Come play with me."

This was enough to catch Hinata's attention. She turned in the direction of the feminine voice, with Naruto nipping gently at her lower lip.

"Who's that?"

"You mean Mika-chan?" Naruto said. "She's Shino's new girlfriend."

"Really? Can we go say hi before they leave?"

"Of course," Naruto said with a sly look on his face. "But you owe me later."

As Naruto was led away by Hinata holding tightly onto his hand, he quickly grabbed the two guitars and followed. Shino was more than willing to introduce them, but was a little bothered that his fun would be delayed. Hinata and Mika hit it off instantly. The Hyuga was really happy for the two and Mika wished her the best of luck in training the clueless boy next to her. Naruto asked what was so funny, but Hinata just silenced him with a quick kiss.

Much to Shino's relief, their introductory chitchat did not last long and the two were off to do all sorts of things while the night was young. Hinata then turned to Naruto with an innocent smile on her face. Naruto was glad that although she had changed, the best qualities were still there. That smile was worth more than all of Fire Country in Naruto's mind.

"Naruto," she said. "I have a favor to ask you."

Konoha Hospital…

"Haruno-san," came the mechanical voice of one of the senior medic-nins. "I have two more coming in from the intensive care unit and I just received word that a chuunin was brutally beaten for going around forcing religion onto the masses. His ETA is approximately ten minutes. Until then, deal with the ICU patients."

Sakura was on the ball. She loved the adrenaline rush she received whenever she was forced to deal with multiple patients. At that moment she felt prepared to deal with each and every victim that walked through the hospital doors. Sasuke, however, felt dizzy. He had a new found respect for medic-nins everywhere and swore to thank the next one putting his spilled out guts back in place. Though if he had to smell one more burn victim he was going to hurl. Gaton jutsus would never be quite the same for the Uchiha.

Just his luck that the two ICU victims had both suffered first degree burns throughout their entire body. The stench was horrendous and Sasuke reacted the only way his body knew how.

"I need a bucket and mop!" Sakura screamed at the top of her lungs, seeing the mess. "_STAT!_"

Just Outside Hinata's Room…

Hyuga Neji had just received word that his timid cousin was back from her trip. His uncle had been furious that the hokage had assigned his daughter the task of joining Naruto's frivolous band without his consent. Neji had heard that the reason for the clan leader's dislike of his daughter's interest in rock was that he felt it would distract her from training. Despite his rough and intimidating appearance, the old man was actually quite worried that one of these days Hinata was going to go out on a mission and come back seriously injured or worse. It was an odd way of caring for the one you loved, but then Neji had never seen the main branch of the family as a normal bunch.

Why _he_ had to be the one to check up on her was what really bothered him.

Hoping to make this as quick and painless as possible for himself, he activated his byakugan and peeked inside. There was no one. Neji began to leave, assuming that she had yet to make it back to the house, when he heard voices coming from inside. That's odd, he thought. There was no one in there a moment ago. He viewed inside the room again and saw the same thing. Absolutely nothing. He placed an ear against the door to listen in.

"It's so beautiful," he heard his cousin say. So she had made it back. If so, why couldn't his byakugan see her?

"I know, right?" said a voice that made Neji cringe. "I made sure to polish it before you arrived."

"Can I touch it?" Hinata asked. Neji was becoming concerned about what this sort of conversation was implying. He hoped to God she wasn't talking about touching 'that'.

"Of course. Just be gentle." Naruto you bastard. What are you doing to our Hinata?

"It feels big," she said. What the hell!

"Really? I thought it was about average. Maybe you're not holding it right. Here, let me help you." Neji was becoming nauseas. "Is that better?"

"Yes, thank you. It feels so good. I never thought I'd get a chance to hold this with my own hands. It's a dream come true." The genius branch member of the Hyuga family was on the verge of tears.

"If you want, I can teach you the right way to use it."

"Really!"

That was the last straw. Neji threw the door open and stepped into the room, prepared to witness the worst before he kicked Naruto's innocence-spoiling ass. "Naruto! What do you think you're doing with my cousin!"

The blond boy blinked in shock. "Showing her the guitar I won in a contest?" Once his blind rage calmed down and Neji took a look around, he saw that Naruto was telling the truth. The two of them were sitting on the bed, fully clothed, with a spectacular guitar in Hinata's possession.

"Oh," he said embarrassed. "My bad."

"Neji-niisan" Hinata said with a pout on her face. "If you were worried about me you should have just knocked."

"I'm sorry," he apologized yet again. "It's just that I heard voices inside and when I checked with my byakugan I couldn't see anything."

"Don't tell me-" Hinata exclaimed in an overly concerned tone. "Neji-niisan, could you be suffering from byakugan-blindness?"

The color drained from Neji's face as he realized that his cousin might be right. Byakugan blindness was worse than death for a Hyuga. "Please excuse me," he said hurriedly as he ran to the clan medic, who had also been called to deal with the influx of patients at the hospital.

Hinata walked over and closed the door, making sure to lock it. The tags Serius had given her worked like a charm. She promised to thank him the next time they saw each other. She turned back to Naruto with a playful grin. "So what did you think?"

"That was pretty sneaky of you," Naruto laughed. "Definitely the best prank I've seen in a long time."

"Why thank you," she said with a bow. "I had a really good role-model."

"The best," he said. He walked over to Hinata and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Hinata-chan, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"You've been acting like a completely new person since you came back to the village. You didn't change for my sake, did you?" There was no response from the girl. "I just wanted you to know that you didn't have to. You were perfect the way you were. It just took me a while to figure that out."

"That was how I felt at first," she said, holding his shirt tightly in her fists and bringing him closer to her. She placed her forehead in his chest. "I wanted for you to see me so bad, it hurt. But somewhere along the way I realized that I wanted to change for me and not so much for you. I didn't want to feel insecure and I was tired of always doubting myself. I wanted to be a strong person worthy of self-respect. Do you not like the new me?"

"It's not that," Naruto said scratching his head when he saw the look in her eyes. A look that was somewhere between being hurt and hopeful. "You will always be you no matter how much you decide to change. The important things stayed the same and that's what matters. You do seem happier."

"I am happier," she said. Naruto only caught a glimpse of the crafty smile on her face before she pushed him onto the bed. Naruto was too stunned to move as the girl slowly removed her jacket and unfastened the buttons on her pants, allowing them to slip off with ease. There she stood wearing nothing more than panties and what might as well have been a bra. These last two articles of clothing were also removed, slowly and seductively, until all she wore was a timid smile. Naruto gulped, knowing what was about to happen.

Hinata slowly crawled her way up the bed until she was face to face with Naruto. The shy look on her face was reminiscent of the old Hinata and Naruto could not help but find it cute. He caressed her cheek and Hinata leaned into the touch while she spoke.

"Naruto-kun," she said nervously. "This is for the last song you played during the contest. You made me so happy when I heard you playing your heart out that I cried and cried. I love you Naruto-kun. I have for a really long time now."

Naruto's eyes widened when he realized what she said. "You were there?"

"Of course," she said as a single tear fell onto the boy's face. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Serius' wife just wouldn't let me close enough for you to see me. She said it would interfere with her lessons."

The blond shinobi's eyes were beginning to water. "Knowing you heard that song means more to me than you could ever know." He leaned in and planted a tender kiss on the girl's lips, which she readily accepted. "I love you too Hinata-chan."

"I'm so glad," she said, wiping away the tears. She laughed timidly before adding. "So are we going to do this or not?"

"Without a doubt but," Naruto said as he grabbed the girl and flipped her onto her back so that he was positioned above her, "I think I might want to try it like this to start off with."

"Okay," the girl laughed. "But it might help if you take your clothes off."

The Uchiha Pad…

Sakura was very disappointed that she had been kicked out of the hospital. It wasn't her fault that her dimwitted ex-teammate couldn't stomach the smell of a little burnt flesh. Hell, it didn't make any sense. He burned people to a crisp on a daily basis for the Sound Village!

On top of that, she had to drag Sasuke's ass all the way back to his house because he was too weak to walk after throwing up so much. There goes her night of hot passionate love-making. He'd be lucky if she let him kiss her with that breath. She opened the door to his house and immediately dropped the boy in her arms when she saw what was in front of her.

"Shino!" she screamed. "What the hell do you think you and Mika-san are doing! We eat off of that!"

Deep in the Dark Recesses of Naruto's Mind…

**Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I, once an all powerful demon that struck fear into the hearts of villages all over this worthless country, am now reduced to voyeurism. The only action I can hope to see is threw the eyes of a clueless little worm who passed up two perfect specimens of his race for a single inexperienced, though quite attractive, girl. If it wasn't for her flexibility, this would be something to sleep through.**

**I take that back. This one's a screamer.**

**Spank her. That's right, just like that. Oh, she likes that doesn't she? Tell her what a bad girl she is.**

**Sigh. Where has my pride gone? The least that bastard shinobi could have done was lock up a succulent kitsune to keep me company. That brat better keep his word about teaching her the jutsu.**

**Now where did I put that lotion?**

More Words From The Idiot Who Writes This Shit

To all the Sasusaku fans: I'm sorry if I got your hopes up only to shatter them in a million tiny pieces, but I promise Sasuke and Sakura will get down and busy soon (maybe the next chapter if you're nice). Angst is a key component of this pairing and anyone who says otherwise needs to put down the pipe. God willing there will be alcohol involved.

¡Viva la Drunken Fanfic!


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